Why? Because I didn't take her seriously at all. It was an obvious attempt at humor and while I didn't find it particularly funny, I didn't think that because it failed to be funny that somehow it became an expression of fact and true belief by the author.

Even if she does not have a preference for squirting, the post is still hyperbole and attempting to argue against it in a logical and reasonable fashion makes y'all look like fucktards.

It WOULD be sad if she DID feel the need to compete with porn and it WOULD be odd if she actually DID seem to find that every porno she watched had squirting in it… but since this is an attempt at HUMOR none of that is actually intended to be presented as FACT. You choosing to take it as fact does not make it fact, it makes you wrong.

Frankly your reaction and every other blog and Twitter comment railing on this topic… that has been the true comedy.

What angers me, as a member of the sex blogging community, is that when y'all behave like this as a group, it makes it hard for anyone outside the community to take us at all seriously.

And if you don't think that's important, let me remind you that your outrage on this whole topic stems from the fact that you feel women have been shamed by men and/or society for their sexuality. If you wish for people outside the community (the ones who need to get the message) to hear that message then you have to stop railing against the trivial shit and start behaving in a way that lets people take you seriously.

Or don't. Maybe truly changing the attitudes of others isn't your priority. Maybe group verbal attacks on anyone who doesn't share your opinion on any given topic is your real priority.

Which is why I am posting this anonymously. I don't care to be your next victim.

One of the reasons I didn't want to participate in the comments section is because I know how they tend to get a bit over the top at times. That is why I waited until the next day when I had a clear head and my own clean slate to write on. And I do believe that I was completely fair in my response. I did not judge KJ as a person or a writer. I judged only her words which I do not agree with.

You say that she never said the women who squirt were gross, but that squirting itself is gross. That, sir, is semantics. She thinks squirting is gross and wrote a post that shamed women who do it because what they do is gross to her. You cannot really separate one from the other in this case.

Lets take your example of facials. Comparing a man ejaculating on a woman's face to a woman ejaculating in general is not a good comparison. So for example, had KJ said she thought that it was gross to have someone ejaculate on her face I think most people would've taken it as a matter of opinion and agreed or disagreed with it. However, had she said that men's ejaculate is gross we might be in the same boat. Although, not quite so much since in our culture men's ejaculate seems to almost never be seen as a shameful thing whereas women's ejaculate and sexuality in general are seen that way. Which is also why there was such an outcry. The female sexbloggers are trying desperately to claim a safe space for female sexuality where they don't feel like they should be ashamed of their desires or orgasms.

You say she has no intent on offending anyone. Well that's great, but the truth is that she did. Most people when they say offensive things don't intend to offend anyone. A coworker of mine made a joke recently about jews being cheap. She didn't intend to offend me, but she did. Just because her intent wasn't to be offensive doesn't mean that it is ok. We need to learn from our mistakes. The optimal thing for KJ to do now is to actually research female ejaculation in order to understand what it is, how it happens, and where it comes from as well as how the ejaculators have felt about it in the past. And then maybe apologize for offending people.

I have to say that i watched this whole thing explode with a mixture of bemusement and WTF?

A few things…….

I think that the image that accompanies the post sets the tone as to what the post was supposed to be. A silly post that questioned the appeal of female ejaculation. Some of you obviously read it in a different light. I have to say that I am a bit taken back by some of the comments about it though……Here is a small sampling:

“Shame on you @toywithme”
“I am outraged”
“this article is disgusting and offensive”
“stop judging and shaming women, like men have done for long enough”
“You appear to be disturbingly insecure”
“I am similarly appalled and irritated by this article”
“Your arrogance is unbecoming in a writer”
“There’s enough crime against women in this world already, we don’t need other women perpetrating it against each other.”
“I was outraged”

Now we even have Nadia West making analogies that draws comparisons to the Jews being persecuted by the Nazis?

A bit over the top no?

If she had posted that she thinks it is disgusting to see a women take a facial would you all be similarly appalled and offended if this was something you enjoyed?

Many have posted that this analogy is mute as squirting is a an involuntary physical reaction. I think that the comparison is valid as the context in which the post was written was seeing porn in which the argument could be made the the squirting was certainly an act that was voluntary. The type of porn she was describing involves stimulating the g-spot for the sole purpose of “the money shot.”

I have read the post over and over and I can not find one statement in it that says that she finds women who squirt disgusting. What she does say is that she finds female ejaculate gross. That’s it. She admits that she doesn’t get it. She says she doesn’t understand it. She asks why is it desirable. She had no intent whatsoever to offend anybody.

I really am truly saddened by some of the comments on this post and on twitter. I can tell you that toywithme regrets and is embarrassed by her reaction to some of them and I think that many of you should be as well.

Peace.

No woman should have to feel ashamed of what her body does naturally. Ever.

The only thing that bugs me about the increase in squirting in mainstream porn is that a lot of it is fake. Just like sometimes the male ejaculate in porn in fake, (Haven't you ever wondered why you only cum half a teaspoon but some men cum a pint? Yeah.. it fake.) Sometimes they just set things up between scenes so they can squirt out a bunch of bottled water on queue.

Mainstream porn is fake, it is all about packaging and selling the most extreme of any fantasy because that is what gets noticed and makes money. She should know that.