Instead of being offended and throwing up a wall, be shocked by the statement, understand it, and work to change it.

And the last paragraph is perfect. Just perfect.

I do think though that the progress that has been made with bringing various people of all kinds that are seeing things in a more… shall we say "enlightened" way, should be acknowledged when we do refer to people as a whole.

Absolutes can be useful for arguments sake, but just like we shouldn't ignore the problems, we also shouldn't ignore the progress.

I of course need to do some more reading… I'll visit my mom and peruse her many bookshelves of material on the subjects :)

Some of the most exciting work in feminism (both from men and women) right now is on defining a new radical masculinity. Still staying true to having differences between masculinity and femininity (although not specifically tied to biological sexes), but redefining what those things mean.

If we're all for equality, shouldn't we go out of our way to change it to any person is a potential rapist? While yes statistics, however flawed their sampling base may be(considering how little is actually reported, by any type of sexual assault victim) do show that men are the large majority of the offenders, I feel that this brings up one thing that has always annoyed me about feminism.

That it's inherently not an equalist ideology. In the end, and I am generalizing here. I do get the feeling, especially as a male raised by feminists, that I am often unfairly prejudged as guilty until proven innocent. Not of course on par with a lot of the more severe stuff that goes on out there, but it is still somewhat hypocritical in my opinion.

Living in fear is a symptom of a flawed society, just like the disturbing lack of public anger and outcry when it comes to the scope and frequency of sexual assaults of all kinds.

I believe it is allowed for me as a man to be offended still to say that I, as a member of this group of those with Y chromosomes, I very well could be a racist. Not only to say that me saying "well I'm not a racist" but to assume that means since I am not myself a rapist, that the world of rape does not touch my life.

I grew up with many women in my life, I have always naturally been more comfortable with them, and I am someone who has had a large number of very close friends or family members assaulted, and to feel this… helplessness and anger and all the other feelings I could never put into words. I don't say that I suffer even the tiniest fraction that they do themselves, there's no way I could do any more than empathize without first hand experience myself. It effects us too, many of us are raised to not see these things happening in the world, to not feel the wounds inflicted on those we love, but it is not all of us. The beauty and tragedy of humanity lies in our differences, it comes out to both extremes.

Sure, if we want to generalize we could say any person is a potential rapist, or murderer, or embezzler, or terrorist… or humanitarian, or savior, or friend, or anything at all.

I agree to a point with the second to last paragraph. We do need a change, mindsets need to shift and reality needs to come into focus for more of us.

But some already do see these things, men and women. I think that point is lost on many people…

(It's late, so please excuse any lack of eloquence.)

I understand that it's just clumsy wording, meant to imply that 'any man could potentially be a rapist' and not 'all men are capable of potentially raping somebody' but if that's the case why don't THEY JUST SAY IT.

Britni was also angry and wrote that 'all' men victimize and abuse women, which is offensive to men who don't victimize and abuse women.

Feminists need to ditch the 'all men are potential rapists' and change it to 'a potential rapist could be any man' because otherwise men are going to continue shutting their ears to their very valid concerns.

Now if you say "any man could be a rapist", THAT I understand.

But to say that every man is a potential rapist, as Britni originally phrased it, bothers me.

I wrote a post on my blog a while back about "Not Rape." It was based on an article that I had found and I think it does a good job of discussing what you're trying to relate about your experience with sexual assault. It's here.