My Identity is Erased

I hate that this even needs to be said, but apparently it does. I am not a lesbian. I have never been a lesbian and I will never be a lesbian.

For most of my life I identified as bisexual, but for the past few years I have identified as queer because bisexual didn’t feel like it fit anymore. I identify as queer because it is a big old umbrella term that allows me to be me. Bisexuality implies there are only two sexes and I do not agree with that. There are more than two biological sexes. If you don’t know this then I highly recommend you read through this website. Educate yourself. Also, sex and gender are two separate things and I believe that there is a whole spectrum of different gender representations and identities and I’m attracted to a whole lot of them. I do not believe in limiting myself. And I believe that sexuality is a complex and fluid thing.

I also stopped identifying as bisexual because I felt like it was a pejorative word. I was judged a whole lot when I would tell people that I was bi. Lesbians didn’t trust me, heterosexual men always asked stupid questions, and society as a whole thought I was going through a phase.

But even if I did identify as bisexual it wouldn’t really matter because the truth is that when I’m in a serious relationship my sexuality is always erased. When I was with a man I was assumed to be heterosexual and being married to a woman means that I’m  assumed to be a lesbian. It is so frustrating to have your identity erased.

Am I qualified to teach about how to please men? Um yeah! Hello! I have sucked more cock than probably 90% of you reading this.

3 comments to My Identity is Erased

  • Like. A lot :) Thanks for posting this!

  • OMG I relate to this so much. I always say that society judges and defines me by my partner. When I’m with a woman, I’m a lesbian. BUT I”M NOT. When I’m with a man, I’m straight. BUT I’M NOT. I’m queer. Always, no matter who I’m with. That never changes.

    And I ID as queer for the same reasons as you.

  • Phil

    I agree. I’m a guy who is in a relationship with a woman and both of us have been in same sex relationships. We’ve been classified as straight with gay tendencies, bi, in denial and so on. I think our society is too focused on categorisation rather than just accepting that we are people who love people.

    Personally I’ve always liked the term “blured”

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