Fascinations and Arizona

I had a blast in Arizona. I want to thank Fascinations for taking great care of me while I was out there and just being super friendly and accommodating. I love the direction they’re heading. With Essin’Em at the helm of the sex positive education at Fascinations things are only looking up for them. She is really doing a great job at educating everyone who works there about healthy sexuality and sexual products. They still have a long way to go, but they’re on their way. It just goes to show that bigger corporations and chain stores can change their business model. They can become more ethical. Having several stores in different states as well as an online business does not mean you have to sell crappy products and I’m really happy that they’ve discovered that. They do still carry dangerous products in their stores, which is why I can’t actually fully recommend them yet, but they are working on educating their staff and customers so that they no longer want to buy those things.

Part of this process is having national sex educators come in to teach people about sex positivity. In no way did Fascinations try to hold me back at all from even recommending products to their customers that they don’t carry. The issue they’ve had in trying to carry the better products is that customers don’t know about them and part of the job of sex educators is to teach customers about great body healthy products so that they can ask for them by name and create a demand at the stores. For example, Astroglide and ID lubes fly off the shelves, but no one buys the Maximus or the Sliquid. The first class I taught at Fascinations I actually said that Maximus was my favorite lube (but not great for blowjobs) and told people why and they flew off the shelves. It’s all about teaching people about the right products. They want to know. They crave that knowledge. It’s unfortunate that it’s not readily available for them.

The good news is though that the employees of Fascinations are being educated. I do not know the history behind this exactly. I don’t know how long it has been going on. But I do know that it such a hugely important part of working at a shop that sells sexual products. The industry is unregulated by the FDA. There are so many dangerous products out there and we need people in the stores educating people about what they should and shouldn’t buy. As well as just being able to direct people towards products that are right for them.

I had a fantastic conversation with Fascinations creative director, Michael Ham, over dinner about how the industry is changing and how a lot of that has to do with all the hard work that the feminist sex shops have been putting out there. I love that. It’s taken us a long time, but I think we’re really starting to see change in the industry because of it. As sex toys become more of a normal part of people’s lives and less a part of the skeezy underbelly we will hopefully see more sex toy companies and stores regulating themselves. And one day maybe we’ll finally see the government recognize that it is an industry that needs to be regulated. In several states you can no longer make baby bottles with BPA or Phthalates, but you can still make sex toys with them and much scarier things because they are “for novelty use only.”

So thank you Fascinations for taking on this goal. I can’t wait for the day when I can add you to my sidebar as one of my favorite sex shops.

Thank you also to everyone who came out to my classes. I hope you all learned a lot and had as much fun as I did. People turned out in record numbers which is just awesome. I especially thank all of the people who came out on the first night who had to stand or sit on the floor for an hour and a half. A lot of people would have left, but you stuck through it to learn about something that was important to you. That’s awesome.

I met a lot of really great people and had some truly rewarding conversations. I hope we can meet again in the future and I also hope that you follow me on my career path. I plan on doing a lot of exciting things. This is only the beginning for me. I will continue to educate people and try to make the world a more sex positive place for everyone so that no one has to ever feel ashamed for what they enjoy doing for consensual pleasure.

And the great news is that Fascinations has said they would love to have me out again. So look forward to that. Although, I’ll probably be staying put in Chicago for the next 4 months while my wife finishes up her doctorate and finds a job that brings us elsewhere.

If you missed my Blowjobs 101 workshop you can see it here. It’s a bit pixelated so unfortunately you can’t see everything I’m doing or pointing to, but you can probably still learn a lot. And laugh a lot. I know when I watched it I was even laughing at my own stupid jokes. The first 10 minutes are totally awkward though because I was super nervous. But once I start getting into it that disappears.

Thank you all! You’re super awesome!