Speaking of sex positivity, I just read a fantastic article over at Feministing which discusses a compilation of sexual myths that a panel came up with at the Rethinking Virginity Conference at Harvard. This relates to my previous articles because our narrow definitions of and great value placed on virginity is extremely sex negative. It implies that the only kind of valuable sex is heterosexual penis in vagina sex and it also implies that a woman’s body becomes devalued the more often she has sex. It implies that the sex itself will be less good with a woman who has had lots of sex. I tend to think that that is the opposite of true. The more experience we have doing something, the better we get at it. Practice, practice, practice.
Here are the myths they came up with (go to the article to read what they have to say about each myth):
- The hymen is THE definitive marker of virginity.
- Valuing virginity protects girls and women.
- Queer sex doesn’t “count”
- You can only “lose it” once.
- Sex within marriage is the “healthiest” kind.
- There’s one universal definition of sex.
- Slut-shaming plays an important social role by discouraging “risky” behavior.
- Teens should learn that sex is dangerous so they won’t put themselves at risk for unwanted pregnancy and/or STIs.
- Teens don’t want to talk about sex with their parents.
- There is no such thing as sex-positive abstinence.
