Sex Positive Upselling Online

This is my part of a 5 person panel that was presented at ANE. The topic was upselling in a sex positive way and my focus, since I work for an online retailer, was selling sexual health products online. This is only what I wrote, not what I said. I tend to ad lib a bit, but this is the bones.

Upselling body healthy luxury toys, in general, tends to be much easier in a brick and mortar store. When you have sales people interacting with your customers you have the edge. It becomes a lot more difficult in e-commerce because if your customer comes to your site looking for a giant blue jelly dong that’s most likely what they’re going to leave with.

But that doesn’t mean that you don’t have options. There are four areas that you can focus on to help upsell in a sex positive way through your e-commerce store:

  1. Reputation and branding
  2. Education and Customer service
  3. Variety
  4. Cross selling

If you are known for selling high end toys that is what you will sell. If you are known for selling cheap jelly toys that is what people will expect from you. Your brand – the image you project and the demographic you attract with that image will dictate what you can and cannot sell. This is influenced by everything from the images and copy you choose to display on your website to how you interact through social media. Watch closely how you talk about sex, people’s bodies, and the products you’re selling. You can’t use the same kind of language to sell a 12 inch dong as you do for a $200 luxury vibrator.

If you’re not currently projecting the image of a store where customers will come for luxury sex toys you should know that you can change your image, but only if you’re willing to put in the work to make that happen. As sex toys become accepted in the mainstream more and more customers are becoming more educated and are choosing to shop with companies that reflect their views of sex toys as normal and healthy. If you speak about the toys you’re selling in a misogynistic or degrading way you will turn off many of your higher end customers.

So how do you create a brand that’s good for selling luxury products? Educate your customers. Dedicating your site to sexual education shows that you care about your customers. You see them as more than dollar signs. You have a vested interest in their sexual health. Tell them what products are made of and what the pros and cons are of those materials. Point them towards the products that are more body healthy. There are numerous ways of doing this including creating a materials and ingredients page that product pages hyperlink to, making product videos (or using videos made by the manufacturers) to highlight the body healthy toys, creating a body healthy toys and lube category that is easy to find on your homepage and can easily be linked to by your affiliates, if you have bloggers writing
reviews for you encourage them to also write a short review on the product page, include staff reviews and picks, and offer easily accessible customer service with a representative who is knowledgeable. Just because you are online doesn’t mean you can’t interact with your customers. Offer instant messaging and make your 800 number visible on every page.

Education is important and you will change some people’s minds and teach them how to better take care of their bodies, but sometimes people just want a cheap blue jelly dong and if you don’t sell it they’ll get it somewhere else. This is why it’s so important to offer variety to your customers.

Make it very known which products are safer than others, but leave the decision making up to your customers. You’ve informed them, now let them make their choice. For truly dangerous products like anal desensitizers this may not be the best option, but a jelly toy that is packed full of phthalates and BPA doesn’t have to be harmful if your customers use a barrier to protect themselves. But you have to inform them that this is the best option.

That’s why cross selling is so important. Not everyone can afford a $100 100% pure medical grade silicone dildo and to presume to know what’s best for your customer is patronizing them. If they can’t afford it, they can’t afford it. It doesn’t matter that that dildo will last them a lifetime unless you can offer them monthly installment plans. But they can afford to buy a $20 dildo and put a condom on it every time they use it. Yes, this will cost them more money in the long run, but they shouldn’t have to choose between food and a dildo. The same goes for people who are inexperienced. If you’re just learning to cook you don’t go out and buy the pots and pans of professionals because they’re too expensive. Yes, your food might taste better coming out of those professional pans and they might last 20 years, but if you’re not even sure you like cooking you’re going to opt to buy the $20 set from Target. The same goes for sex toys. Most people aren’t going to drop $100 on their first sex toy and you shouldn’t push them into it. Instead educate them on what options are available in their price range. There are many body healthy options made from ABS plastic that are much more affordable or they can always use a barrier between their sex toys and them. Making your customer happy is more important than upselling because that college student who can only afford the $20 dildo is more likely to come back when they have more money because they had a good experience with you. By being honest with your customers and selling to them based off of their interests instead of their insecurities they will feel safer buying from you and you will create loyalty.

Butt Plug That Fits Between the Cheeks

Q: How about a store that sells a decent butt plug? One with a narrow base that fits between the cheeks, and not the rounded, awkward base?

A: There are several great options on the market and I’m not sure why everyone doesn’t make comfy butt plugs that stay in well and fit between the cheeks for extended wear.

Bob is a great beginner plug with a curve for prostate stimulation. It’s made out of a super silky silicone that is easy to take care of and is body healthy. Or if you have entirely too much money let me suggest the same exact toy, but in silver or gold. Because sometimes you just need a little butt jewelry. Those even come with matching cufflinks.

If you like the idea of a heavy metal feeling in your bum, but you don’t have that kind of scratch don’t fear! njoy makes a couple of different options in steel that are a bit more budget friendly including the Pfun Plug great for prostate stimulation and the Pure Plug which comes in 3 different sizes. One thing to keep in mind with metal plugs is that they tend to feel bigger because they are weighty and hard so err on the side of small when choosing a metal plug.

The Ryder Plug will stay put very nicely and fit well between the cheeks for extended wear. It’s made out of silicone so it’s easy to take care of and should last you a life time.

Tristan Taormino, queen of the ass sex, designed her own plug because she saw a void that needed to be filled (pun soooo intended). The plug was named after her: Tristan. This is also a silicone plug.

Ethical Gay Male Bondage Porn

Q: I hate the idea of supporting unethical porn. Do you know of any ethical porn sites that are not too expensive or that charge by the day? I usually only watch porn once a month, so I do not want to pay too much. I especially like gay (male) bondage porn. Any recommendations would be great!

A: I love that you’re on board with supporting ethical porn. It’s so nice to see people who are really interested in making a difference using their dollars to vote for what they want and don’t want in the world.

There aren’t a whole lot of porn sites that are really inexpensive or only charge by the day. However, what you may be interested in doing is either joining up for a month and taking a day or two to just go through all of their content and copy to your computer what you think you’ll need for the next several months. Obviously you should do this in an ethical way so don’t use special software to grab content and don’t share the content you grab with other people. It should be for your own personal use. Another option is to do video on demand (VOD) so that you only pay for what you watch.

I’m not too familiar with gay male bondage porn so I asked around for some advice from sex workers and companies I trust. First I asked VOD site HotMoviesForHer because they’re just awesome and they suggested Muscle Bound Productions. I can’t speak to the ethical nature of Muscle Bound Productions, but Hot Movies is pretty awesome. New users get 10 free minutes and then you just pay for what you watch when you want to watch. There’s no signup fees or anything.

Jiz Lee suggested Titan Men which has a few different options for signing up including VOD. Then there’s also Kink.com which houses more porn than anyone could ever possibly watch. Check out their Kink Men Gay Shoots on VOD. But like I said, they have a ton of porn so just look around at their different websites to see what appeals to you.

Also, check out Heavenly Spire which is one of Shine Louise Houston’s creations. She’s awesome and was the subject of one of my recent Ethical Pornographer interviews.

Oral Sex on the Radio Tomorrow

I will be on the radio tomorrow at 6PM EST/3PM PST with Shanna Katz talking about oral sex. If you’re in Arizona tune into KFNX1100 AM. If you’re not, then you should be able to listen here. Also, feel free to call in with your questions. I don’t know the number, but I’m sure we’ll say it.

Radio Topics?

I’m going to be on the radio with Shanna Katz on Thursday. What do you want us to talk about?

If You Google it, I Will Answer #9

I love seeing how people get to my site. And sometimes they inadvertently find my site by asking a question I never answer here. That makes me sad :( So in the interest of getting people’s questions answered I will respond to questions I see people Googling to get here.

Q: Do blowjobs help sinus infections?

A: It depends what end of the blowjob you’re on. If you’re the one giving the blowjob then I would say that you definitely won’t get any healing benefit from it. In fact you may make it a bit worse if you end up creating a lot of snot while giving oral sex. The more snot, the more it just gets up in those sinuses. It could also hurt more than usual if say the cock you are sucking on ends up poking into your soft palette in the roof of your mouth or if the owner of the cock slaps you in the face with it. Plus there may be difficulty breathing if you are congested.

If you are receiving a blowjob and you have a sinus infection you may get a small boost in immune system function from the orgasm and feeling well cared for. However, I’d really recommend antibiotics, bed rest, and hot showers if you really want to get over your sinus infection quickly.