A: There are several great options on the market and I’m not sure why everyone doesn’t make comfy butt plugs that stay in well and fit between the cheeks [...]]]> Q: How about a store that sells a decent butt plug? One with a narrow base that fits between the cheeks, and not the rounded, awkward base?

A: There are several great options on the market and I’m not sure why everyone doesn’t make comfy butt plugs that stay in well and fit between the cheeks for extended wear.

Bob is a great beginner plug with a curve for prostate stimulation. It’s made out of a super silky silicone that is easy to take care of and is body healthy. Or if you have entirely too much money let me suggest the same exact toy, but in silver or gold. Because sometimes you just need a little butt jewelry. Those even come with matching cufflinks.

If you like the idea of a heavy metal feeling in your bum, but you don’t have that kind of scratch don’t fear! njoy makes a couple of different options in steel that are a bit more budget friendly including the Pfun Plug great for prostate stimulation and the Pure Plug which comes in 3 different sizes. One thing to keep in mind with metal plugs is that they tend to feel bigger because they are weighty and hard so err on the side of small when choosing a metal plug.

The Ryder Plug will stay put very nicely and fit well between the cheeks for extended wear. It’s made out of silicone so it’s easy to take care of and should last you a life time.

Tristan Taormino, queen of the ass sex, designed her own plug because she saw a void that needed to be filled (pun soooo intended). The plug was named after her: Tristan. This is also a silicone plug.

====================
This post, Butt Plug That Fits Between the Cheeks, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 12/20/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Butt Plug That Fits Between the Cheeks. Thanks for visiting!
====================

A: Without any more information as to what [...]]]> Q: Sooooo my boyfriend and I just tried anal for the first time and I really like it, but every time he starts to pull back I get this sudden, insane urge to pee and have to stop to go pee. Why is that and can I prevent it?

A: Without any more information as to what is happening my best guess would have to be that he is hitting your g-spot perfectly through your rectal wall. This is often the sensation that many women report when they first start exploring g-spot stimulation.

Image from Home Business and Family Life

You’ll notice from this diagram that there is a very thin wall between the vaginal canal and the rectum. It is very easy to stimulate the g-spot, which is on the front wall of the vagina about 2 inches in, through this thin wall if there is nothing obstructing it.

So if you want a quick solution then put something in your vagina like fingers or a sex toy. This will keep him from hitting your g-spot and making you feel like you have to pee. Keep in mind though that there’s only so much space in your pelvic region and you may want to use smaller objects to put inside of your vagina so that you don’t feel like you’re too filled up – unless that’s what you’re going for.

The problem with the quick solution is that a big part of what might be feeling good when you’re having anal sex is the g-spot stimulation. Taking that part away may make the experience less pleasurable. In that case you may want to go for more of a long term solution. It will take more time and patience, but will most likely be worth it in the long run.

This feeling like you have to pee when the g-spot is stimulated actually makes a lot of sense when you understand what the g-spot is. The urethral sponge is what’s actually being hit. This sponge swells when aroused and protects the urethra from getting banged into and damaged. So the spot that’s being stimulated is almost a direct pathway to your urethra and bladder. Hence the need to pee sensation. You may even feel this if your bladder is completely empty. This is just a natural reaction, but no fear, you can learn to bypass the peeing feeling to get just the enjoyment.

However, it takes patience and because of that I highly recommend you lay off the anal intercourse for a bit and instead focus on stimulation with toys or fingers in either your anus or vagina. This way you may be able to concentrate better and you won’t have someone else’s pleasure to think about too.

If it helps to free your mind from the concern of peeing, you may want to go to the bathroom first before you start to play. Although keep in mind that for some people, a completely empty bladder also means that they may not feel the g-spot stimulation as much. Sometimes a bladder that has some urine in it helps to create pressure on the spot as well. Although a full bladder is often just annoying. You can also put a few towels under you if that makes you feel more comfortable.

The goal though is to get past that feeling of having to pee because when we feel like we have to go, but don’t want to we clench our PC muscles which can keep you from having an orgasm. It’s important to learn to relax, breathe, and focus on the stimulation instead of the anxiety. You may find that over time this will help to transform the feelings of g-spot stimulation from “OMG I have to pee!” to “OMG I’m going to cum!.”

If you’re unsure of how to stimulate your g-spot I recommend inserting one or two fingers (either yours or his) into the vagina once you are fully aroused and making a “come hither” motion pointing towards your belly button. You won’t have to go too deep … just a couple of inches should do it. Or you can also use a g-spot toy. If you prefer the feeling of g-spot stimulation through anal play you can do basically the same thing, but if you’re using a toy make sure that it has a flared base on it so it can’t get lost up your butt. And don’t share the toy between your vagina and your ass unless you use condoms or sterilize the toy between orifices.

====================
This post, Urge to Pee During Anal, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 09/15/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Urge to Pee During Anal. Thanks for visiting!
====================

The format is similar to Fluid: Women Redefining Sexuality in [...]]]> Fluid: Men Redefining Sexuality was the movie selected for our first ever twitter pornoparty. It was a ton of fun getting to experience this feminist porn award winning movie with others while we all tried to make each other laugh and think about what was going on.

The format is similar to Fluid: Women Redefining Sexuality in that the film features men sitting around talking about their sexuality and what it means to them followed by some hot hot action of them having sex with both men and women.

Truthfully, I enjoyed Fluid: Women more than Fluid Men. I felt like more of the women were politically minded and open minded than the men. I feel like even though the men enjoyed having sexual experience with other men that they had this barrier against wanting to have relationships with them. This of course wasn’t the case for all of them, but for more than half. I felt like the way they talked about sex and their own sexuality just showed how rampant homophobia is in our society that even these men who enjoy sex with other men had these barriers that still could use some breaking down. Granted this is totally my opinion and you may feel otherwise. But for me, only the last two men featured fully embraced their sexuality. But that could also be a reflection of my own sexuality and looking for that in other people. What did other people think who have either viewed it with us at the twitter party or who have seen it on their own?

Ok so here’s how it breaks down…

Scene 1: Jack Hammer

Jack is a handsome muscular black man who prefers muscular, non-hairy men who take great care of themselves. He’s kind of picky with men, but not so much with women. He loves lots of different kinds of women. He is ex-military and likes to attend bisexual play parties. Overall he tends to prefer people who identify as bisexual or pansexual.

So after the interview (and interspersed throughout as well) we get to see Jack and Constance get it on. This woman is sooo cute and sexy. She’s got a little bit of a tummy, dark brown hair, and bruises on her tummy from what appears to be play piercing.

The sex starts out pretty rough, but gets a bit softer and more sensual as the scene moves on. One thing I noticed about this flick compared to the other one is that it feels like the clothes come off almost instantly. I don’t know if this is a trick of editing or if the guys are just a lot less patient when it comes to clothing.

So in this scene we get some belt choking, deep throating (with nose holding for extra suffocation), talking that I can’t hear (seriously when will someone answer my plea for subtitles in porn?), and some penis in vagina intercourse with a condom.

Scene 1.5: Gabriel

I call it 1.5 because we get to see the interview of the next guy and then he joins in on the fun with Jack and Constance. Gabriel grew up in Brazil and surprised himself when he realized he was attracted to men sometime in his 20s. He has no interest in dating men and only wants to fuck them. Although, he is into lots of different types of men and the body part that turns him on most on both men and women is their genitalia.

Gabriel makes an appearance in the scene with Jack and Constance. The scene starts with Gabriel sucking Jack off while Constance watches and masturbates with a hitachi. There’s making out, rimming, and butt sex. Condoms are used and we even see the switching of condoms when partners are switched. This always makes me happy. To make me even happier, Constance wears a glove when she fingers Jack’s ass. Also, there’s a butt sex train and a double cock suck fest. In the end both men cum on Constance and then Jack licks it up.

Scene 2: Deviant Kade

Kade’s interview reveals that he identifies as bisexual and that he also has no interest in dating men. He also seems to have a very limited view of what the word queer means. He says that he moved to San Francisco in order to better explore his sexuality and that his first anal experience was with a woman strapping on. His turn ons include attitude, open mindedness, well defined men who aren’t too muscley, curvy ladies, people who take care of themselves, and intellect. BTW Kade has beautiful eyes. Just sayin.

The sex scene starts between Kade and Amber Rayne. I gotta admit that I am not attracted to Amber. She’s very conventionally pretty and thin which doesn’t tend to do it for me. However, that girl has a mouth on her and that is totes hot. I can never hear dirty talk in porn, but she annunciates all of her dirty words and I can hear it all. It was actually kind of surprising to hear that dirty mouth so clearly. No low growls or anything. Just clearly stated “Go balls deep in that fucking cunt” and “I want you to cum on my face so I can fucking taste it.”

Anyhoo, there’s some oral sex on both sides, rimming, and Amber finger fucks Kade with her long nails *shudder*. Kade then fucks Amber in the pussy with no condom.

And then this kind of weird dude (Mark Frenchy) with a ridiculous headband on (loved Coyote’s tweet at us to not judge him for his headband) comes in and gets between the two. He pushes Amber away with his foot and she performs some slight foot worship upon it. Then we have a bit of a repeat from the other scene where Mark sucks Kade’s cock while Amber masturbates with a hitachi. Then she joins back in the action and there is a lot of sucking and rimming going on. Follow that with fucking and blowing and stroking. And then all is ruined when Mr. Headband – who is not wearing a condom- fucks Amber in the pussy then the ass and then back again. This pretty much squicked me. And then there’s some cumming, but I’m still too distracted by the ass to vag thing to enjoy that at all.

Scene 3: Rose

When Rose came on the screen I think everyone in twitter pornoparty melted a bit. This guy was just adorable and politically-minded and more interested in breaking down gender than the ones before him. Obviously, we were a somewhat like-minded group. Although that doesn’t mean that we don’t welcome others for future twitter parties. As long as you respect the sex workers you are welcome to our twitter parties.

Rose embraces the word queer, but tends to identify more as an animal. His goal is to get out of the human mindset and break free by delving into his animalistic sexual instincts. Rose also believes that everything is queer. That queerness isn’t just about sexuality or bodies, but about being strange/out of the norm and embracing it. He says that he is a “super feminist” and he is also attracted to power. Don’t you just love him?

So then the sex scene starts and this time it’s two guys beginning. They also seem to keep their clothes on longer which is great because we get to linger on the lacey panties that Tommy Midas is wearing. But before we even get to his panties we see them makingout very sensually. Sure the guys makeout in other scenes, but this scene is just hotter. It feels more genuine. It feels so real and sexy. Plus I think we were all excited that Tommy was a bit of a twink. There’s some cock sucking and some really intense ass fucking with great moaning.

Scene 3.5: Tommy Midas

Like I already said, Tommy is a twink and an adorable one at that. He identifies as queer and as a boy – not a man. He feels that queer is about having more fun, but also having a political agenda. He feels the identity is unrestrictive and tears at the notions of gender. Tommy is a boy and to a certain extent you see that identity in his desire to either be or fuck Peter Pan, the perpetual boy. Tommy is really into age play and also delving deep into the dark parts of the psyche. When Tommy finds himself in relationships they seem to mostly be with female bodied partners who also identify as queer. And just an FYI: he loves group sex.

Now this scene was very interesting to me because a few of the people participating in the pornoparty mentioned that Tommy didn’t look like he enjoyed performing oral sex on a female bodied person. In watching him, I felt like he seemed to enjoy it just as much as when he gave Rose a bj and I wonder how much of this type of judgment had to do with how he presented his gender. He’s a twinky boy and if you saw him walking down the street there’s a good chance you would assume he is gay because of his mannerisms. But in his interview he said that he mostly dates female bodied people so why was this being questioned? I thought that it was interesting that in a movie called “men redefining sexuality” it was assumed that this man was not portraying his honest sexuality. It just goes to show you that even sex positive folks can still put people in boxes that they don’t want to be in. It’s a process and I think it is important for us to all be aware of our own prejudices in order to try to break them down.

Anyhoo, on to the sex. That’s really what you want to hear about anyway, am I right? This scene starts where the last one stopped. Rose is fucking Tommy in the ass. Then Devi Lynne, a beautiful woman, comes in. She starts kissing Tommy and Rose just kind of disappears into the background for a big chunk of this scene. Tommy and Devi perform oral on each other. Devi tells Tommy that he’s a very pretty boy which he enjoys. Then they fuck and there is no condom.

At this point Rose reappears to everyone’s delight – he really was the fave of the party. Devi sucks Tommy off while Rose fingers his ass and strokes his own cock. Rose then cums on Tommy’s ass and Devi licks it up. Then there’s a 3way kiss and the scene ends.

Extras:

Slideshow: Pics of the actors taken in studio and on set. They are set to music. I tend to think that these are rarely worthwhile. The quality (at least on my computer) is somewhat poor and pixelated.

Trailers: There is a trailer for Fluid: Women Redefining Sexuality and The Curse of MacBeth

Overall thoughts: The lighting and sound for all the scenes were done well. It’s never perfect for indie porn, but the quality was better than a lot of the movies I’ve seen. All the scenes were comfortable. There was very little to no awkwardness between players and some had really great chemistry. The interviews were interesting and gave you a little glimpse of each guy’s personality and what turns him on. Overall, though I really prefer Fluid Women over Fluid Men. This may just be a personal taste thing, but I felt more openness and chemistry from the women. Although I do love watching guys suck cock and makeout. If you do too, then definitely pick this flick up. You can get it on DVD or VOD both from Good Vibrations.

====================
This post, Fluid: Men Redefining Sexuality, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 08/11/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Fluid: Men Redefining Sexuality. Thanks for visiting!
====================

Many beginners to anal sex find that it is easiest to start where the person who is being penetrated anally [...]]]> In a recent comment a reader asked: I am curios about anal sex. Me and my husband discuss it but we are waiting on the right time. I was wondering what is the best position for beginners?

Many beginners to anal sex find that it is easiest to start where the person who is being penetrated anally is on top. So think of the cowgirl position, but up the butt instead of in the vagina. Reverse cowgirl would work fine as well. The reason that this can often be the best position for beginners is because the person who is on the receiving end has more control over depth, speed, and angle. You can ease that cock or dildo in as quickly or as slowly as you’d like … although I’d suggest slowly since you’re beginners.

Another option if you’re having a difficult time relaxing is to have the receiver laying on their back, but with their hips and legs supported with pillows. This allows the receiver to relax more, but also gives up a lot of the control. If you and your partner trust each other and have really good communication skills during sex this could be a great option.

No matter what you do though, remember to use lots of lube, warm up with fingers and/or butt plugs, and be patient. Porno ass sex is all pretty staged. You can’t just start fucking an ass gung ho like that. Those performers warmed up beforehand.

For more beginner anal sex tips check out my post here.

====================
This post, Beginner Anal Positions, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 07/29/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Beginner Anal Positions. Thanks for visiting!
====================

It’s been awhile since I’ve had one [...]]]> I love seeing how people get to my site. And sometimes they inadvertently find my site by asking a question I never answer here. That makes me sad :( So in the interest of getting people’s questions answered I will respond to questions I see people Googling to get here.

It’s been awhile since I’ve had one of these. People have just been getting here by the same old boring ways apparently. But yay, we have a new one!

Q: Can you make a buttplug out of anything?

A: I’m not sure if they’re asking if a butt plug can be made out of any material or if they are planning on making a butt plug themselves. So I will answer each part independently.

1. Butt plugs are made out of many different materials, but it cannot be made out of any material. For example, butter would probably make a pretty bad butt plug material. Sure you could carve it into the shape of a butt plug, but it would probably melt and then you would have a very buttery butt. Butt plugs also shouldn’t be made from jelly, cyberskin, or any other sex toy material which smells awful when taken out of the packaging. If you don’t want to smell it you probably shouldn’t put it in your body.

Butt plugs should be made out of awesome materials like silicone, steel, and glass.

2. Please don’t make your own butt plugs unless you are well versed in making other sex toys (Hint: Not like this guy) and understand that the base needs a wide flare to keep it from getting sucked up your butt. It’s really just better to not make your own butt plugs and to buy them because they tend to be safer if you get them from a reputable manufacturer/sex shop.

====================
This post, If you Google it, I Will Answer #8, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 07/16/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: If you Google it, I Will Answer #8. Thanks for visiting!
====================

Click for more pics!

How do you think most women feel about having their anus licked? Do you know what is the best way to do it to satisfy a woman that likes it? Do you think women like some manual stimulation anally during regular sex?

Here’s the problem with questions like this:  I can’t tell [...]]]>

Click for more pics!

How do you think most women feel about having their anus licked? Do you know what is the best way to do it to satisfy a woman that likes it? Do you think women like some manual stimulation anally during regular sex?

Here’s the problem with questions like this:  I can’t tell you what most women feel or think. They make up over half the population and I have talked to a very tiny percentage of them about their butts.  The key is asking the woman that you’re with. Ask if she likes her butt played with, how she likes it, and when. If she doesn’t know, but she’s interested in it then experiment with her. Ask her questions while you’re down there. Does she prefer light tongue flicks, hard pressure, flat broad licks, or some combination of all of them? Does she like you to start off with a butt massage before you move to her anus? How fast or slow does she want her anus penetrated? What feels good today vs. what feels good on other days?

I can tell you that a lot of women feel very self conscious about having someone stick their face in their butt. To ease her concerns, take a shower together first and soap her bottom up well, use a barrier, and reassure her that you enjoy doing what you’re doing.  Also, make sure that she’s up for butt play that day. If her stomach has been feeling a little off she may not want you back there for good reason. Listen to what she says. Don’t assume that because she enjoyed butt play yesterday that she’ll enjoy it today.

Image source: EroticBPM

====================
This post, Women’s Butts, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 05/24/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Women’s Butts. Thanks for visiting!
====================

Q: Do butt plugs mess with the [...]]]> I love seeing how people get to my site. And sometimes they inadvertently find my site by asking a question I never answer here. That makes me sad :( So in the interest of getting people’s questions answered I will respond to questions I see people Googling to get here.

Q: Do butt plugs mess with the way you shit?

Short answer: no.

Longer answer: Only if you leave them in for hours and hours and you should be making a bowel movement, but you’re not allowing your body to. The same goes if you’re for some reason trying to shit while you have a butt plug in. Remove the plug. And only wear a plug for short periods of time unless you are experienced and know when to give your ass a break. Plan around your pooping cycles.

And who knows what the hell those plugs that are made of unknown materials will do to your ass. Only use non-porous materials that can be easily sanitized and cared for like silicone, glass, and metal. Also, avoid butt plugs with seams and ones that don’t have a base that is flared wider than the widest point on the plug. If you’re wearing your plug for an extended period of time though you’ll want to make sure that it fits nicely between your ass cheeks. I suggest njoy plugs.

====================
This post, If you Google it, I Will Answer #7, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 04/19/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: If you Google it, I Will Answer #7. Thanks for visiting!
====================

Q: How to get the poop smell [...]]]> I love seeing how people get to my site. And sometimes they inadvertently find my site by asking a question I never answer here. That makes me sad :( So in the interest of getting people’s questions answered I will respond to questions I see people Googling to get here.

Q: How to get the poop smell off a sex toy?

First of all, stop smearing poop on your sex toys. Nobody likes a poopy sex toy.

Secondly, if you’re putting sex toys in your butt and after washing them thoroughly they still smell like poop, you’re using bad quality sex toys. You should really only put sex toys in your butt if they are made of a non-porous material like silicone, glass, steel, and treated wood. Porous materials allow for little spaces for bacteria to grow and your butt is just full of bacteria. You can see why this might be a bad combination. If you just HAVE to use a low quality butt toy, put a condom on it.

====================
This post, If you Google it, I will Answer #4, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 03/04/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: If you Google it, I will Answer #4. Thanks for visiting!
====================