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Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex

The amazingly talented Tristan Taormino recently sent me a copy of her newest porn, Rough Sex, and I loved it!

The premise: Different women desire different types of rough sex. Five different female porn stars get to come up with and act out a rough sex fantasy with the male actor of their choice. I love that every one of the five women has a different idea of what rough sex entails. And even more importantly, I love that there is a lot of emphasis on choice and control by the women. Normally, when I see rough sex in porn it makes me feel uncomfortable because I don’t know if the woman is actually enjoying what she is doing or if she’s just in it for the paycheck. In this movie though we get to see the women consenting in their interviews. Each scene begins with one of these and includes the woman talking about what kind of rough sex she likes and why she picked the guy she picked. The men also get their chance to talk about what they like about rough sex as well. And then we go straight into the scenes.

Adrianna: Breaking and Entering
In the first scene we open with Adrianna Nicole taking a shower. She’s got a great naturally curvy body that looks hot all soaped up. She gets out, dries off, and brushes her teeth. At one point she bends over and we see she has a butt plug firmly in her ass. I love foreshadowing! I also love that they show that she was prepped for anal sex. Because in real life, unlike porn, you have to warm up to that!

Marco Banderas, the actor chosen because he is passionate and has an obvious love of women, sneaks up behind her and tells her to shut up. At first Adrianna resists Marco’s attempts at fucking her, but soon she gives in and seems to be very into it. Adrianna’s idea of rough sex involves very little talking and there really is barely any. Eventually they make their way into the bedroom where there is much fucking and a Hitachi Magic Wand makes a star appearance.

This scene was probably the tamest as far as roughness goes. I actually felt like this was more like a couple role playing at home instead of porn stars going at it, which I loved. The scenes weren’t scripted so there was some slight fumbling around, Adrianna was a very active player, and really what guy breaking and entering (and raping you) allows his victim to pull out a hitachi? Love it!

Satine: Stranded
In the second scene we have the incredibly beautiful Satine Phoenix stranded in the desert with her broken down jeep and Derrick Pierce coming to the rescue.

I have to be honest here. I don’t like Derrick Pierce. He always comes off as a total douche bag to me. He’s the kind of guy that I would go out of my way to avoid at a party. I kept trying to tell myself that Satine picked this guy and that she was actually really into the whole thing and had even done scenes with Derrick before and really enjoyed herself. The way she talked about him definitely showed that she was very into him. I tried so hard! But because Derrick gives me the heebie jeebies I just couldn’t get into it. But he’s also a great pick. He does what he does very well. He is very good at being a sadistic bastard. And when that’s what you want, you call Derrick in for it.

So the scene starts with playful flirtation leading to some messing around. Satine gets on her knees and starts giving Derrick a blowjob and that’s when things take a turn. He starts forcing her to choke on his cock, slapping her around, scratching her, dishing out orders, and degrading her.

Unlike the first scene where Adrianna was obviously into what was going on, Satine is wincing and screaming. In the end Derrick makes her beg to cum and then makes her lay in the dirt while he cums on her chest. He then leaves her there; a broken down woman next to her broken down jeep.

Had this been an actor I liked more I think I could’ve gotten into this scene, but because I don’t like Derrick I just couldn’t enjoy it.

Francesca: Taking Over
To offset all the submissive women, the third scene has the petite Francesca Le dominating the giant teddy bear of a man Christian. And just like I don’t like Derrick, I really like Christian. He just seems like a sweetheart.

In this scene Christian is a corporate asshole who pays no attention to his lovely housewife, Francesca, and she is sick of it. She changes into a hot little corset number, hangs up a phone call that Christian is in the middle of, and dominates the hell out of him.

Christian can take a hell of a beating! Francesca degrades him, spits on him, makes him lick her shoes, chokes him with his own belt, smacks his cock, ass, and pecks, shoves his tie in his mouth, and whips him. This is what I needed after the last scene! I’m a total domme and I needed to see a woman in power to make me really happy. The fact that she’s a tiny woman beating the crap out of a giant guy made me even happier. The only thing that I felt like this scene was missing, and what would have made me happiest of all, was if Francesca had queened Christian. And by queening I mean sitting on his face, but I wanted more than just that. I wanted her to suffocate him with her pussy. You always see women choking on cock in mainstream porno, but what about some good old fashioned pussy asphyxiation? I wanted her to grind her cunt into his face so hard! We can all dream, right?

And in the end when Francesca finally lets Christian cum they snowball. Awesome!

Marie: Caught
In the fourth scene Julius Ceazher figures out that his girlfriend Marie Luv has been cheating on him when he finds a condom wrapper near the bed. He confronts her, they fight, and he makes her show him her pussy to see if she’s been fucking around that day. This turns into a pretty rough sex scene with some really great positions. I was wowed by the creativity of the positions! Seriously, most of the time when a man is dominating a woman it seems like there are only a few positions in the playbook, but this scene had a lot of different ones. He was just throwing her around like she weighed nothing! However, I would have liked there to be more dirty talk and degradation. The scene really called for it and that’s what Marie had requested. Beyond that though they seemed to be having a great time. They definitely had some amazing chemistry. And Marie seemed to be pretty blissfully happy afterwards.

Sasha: Switched
They really saved the best for last on this one. Tristan Taormino even recently tweeted that this is one of the best sex scenes she’s ever shot. And for me its just a sex positive feminist’s wet dream.

We start with the self-described pain slut, Sasha Grey, and her choice of actor, the adorable Danny Wylde, playing pool and discussing what they do want and what they don’t want from their rough sex encounter. Its fantastic to see people actually just discussing these things instead of hoping for the best. People say that this makes sex lose its spontaneity, but I say fuck spontaneity if it means that I can’t have fantastic sex that I control. And when it comes to rough sex, setting boundaries is extremely important.

And then the extremely hot sex begins. These two have chemistry! They LOVE fucking each other and it shows. They’re having fun. There’s choking, smacking, and intense fucking. Danny starts as the dominant one, but they end up taking turns and it works really well. They both beat and degrade each other.

Some of the things that I strongly dislike about mainstream porn were just not present in this scene which made me almost gleeful. I hate the rigid gender roles and homophobia in mainstream porn where you can do whatever you want to a woman’s ass, but god forbid you touch a man’s ass. Sasha eats Danny’s ass! And it is HOT! We’re talking Danny on his hands and knees being forced to say “Yes, mommy I’m your little bitch” and moaning.

But the best part of all is when Danny accidentally crosses one of Sasha’s borders. In the beginning she didn’t have a whole lot of don’ts, but her big one was no tit slapping. Danny got really into the moment and slapped Sasha’s tit. He knew instantly that he did something he shouldn’t have and he apologized. Sasha made him pay by shoving her foot down his throat, making him gag. He continued to apologize and then all was good and they continued with the hot sex.

In the end there is another snowball and then they have a somewhat ridiculous smacking fight, which just goes to show you how much fun they were having.

Extras
There’s a behind the scenes which I always enjoy watching. I liked seeing Tristan planning out scenes with the women. I liked that once again I got to see that Satine had a ton of fun and I just suck because I don’t like Derrick

There is a choking safety tutorial by Penny Flame that is super valuable if you’re going to be engaging in rough sex. OMG I learned really valuable stuff here! DO NOT SKIP THIS!!!

There’s a safer sex tutorial, which I’ve noticed in a lot of the Vivid flicks. Definitely valuable stuff about condoms, dental damns, gloves, and lube. Although I think the glove tongue thing is a little awkward personally. (You’ll just have to watch it to see what I’m talking about.)

And then there are some trailers and whatnot that I honestly didn’t bother to watch.

Final Thoughts
Overall, I loved this movie! Such a strangely novel concept to have women designing their own sex scenes. I wish more porn directors would do this. The women were all beautiful and the men were all attractive (even Derrick). There were people of color and somewhat varying body types. The film featured mostly natural bodies, but I did spot one pair of breast implants. There was a lot of very real chemistry going on between the actors and it made for some awesomely hot sex. There was some music, but mostly you just get the sounds of fucking, which are probably what you really want in a porno anyways. Just wish that I could’ve heard more of the degradation talk, which was so much softer than the screaming.

In the next installment (its a series! Awesome!) I’d love to see some pussy asphyxiation … or maybe that’s just my fantasy … I’d also like to see a little less semen worship. At the end of several scenes the man cums, action pretty much stops, and the women make love to the semen. I find it to be a little odd honestly. But maybe that’s because I’m actually allergic to semen and always had to run off to the bathroom after sex so I could wash it off.

If you want to get this movie you can buy it from Tristan directly here or if you need to see this movie NOW you can get video on demand check out HotMoviesForHer.com

Check out the trailer:

Best Lesbian Erotica 2009

Babeland sent me the newest in the Best Lesbian Erotica series recently. Now I have no experience reading the previous years of erotica and I’ll admit that I’m hardly an avid reader of erotica in general because I do most of my reading on public transit. I really need one of those fabric book covers so I don’t have to be embarrassed by the overtly sexual images on the cover. But given all this, I still have to say that I was a bit disappointed.

Sure the stories were often very hot. But there just wasn’t enough variety for me. This was not lesbian erotica, this was butch/femme erotica. A lot of times I really felt as if this could have been hetero erotica, but instead of just saying cock they would add a descriptor like silicone or cyberskin. And while I love a good hot butch/femme sex story, I would really love to see more than just that. Give me some butch on butch love, some femme on femme, where are the genderqueers and the trannyboys? I NEED more variety! So call the book what it is: Butch/Femme erotica, not the best lesbian erotica of 2009. Because I am sure there are TONS of hot stories involving queer ladies of all kinds.

However, I must say that I did enjoy the fact that there were women of different ages,sizes, shapes, and colors in the book. And I always enjoy it when any type of porn or erotica references a sex toy that I have. In one story they used a Feeldoe!

One thing to keep in mind if you are considering this book is that it also has a lot of BDSM and some foot/shoe worship. If this is not your thing then I suggest skipping it. If it is your thing then there are definitely some really hot stories in here for you.

But for my money the hottest story in the whole book was the real one that Tristan Taormino shares in the intro. Hot damn! But then again when its real people really getting it on it just goes a lot further for me. That and Tristan is totally hot and smart.

BDSM Warm Ups

My wife and I want to get more into bondage and S&M but she keeps telling me I need to warm up more and her explanations on how to do so don’t really help. Any reference sources or tips you could give would really help.

The thing I love about BDSM more than anything is the dedication to communication that many in the scene have. I wish that everyone communicated as much and as well as people in the BDSM scene. Boundaries, expectations, likes and dislikes, safe words, and consent are all often discussed before any type of sex play starts. If everyone was committed to communication like this we’d be a lot happier and more satisfied.

So when you tell me that her explanations aren’t helping I have to wonder where the communication is suffering. Is she not willing to give all the details of what she wants? Many are afraid to ask for what they want, often assuming that their partner should just know how to please them and then ending up disappointed when it doesn’t go the way they wanted it to. Or are you not asking adequate questions? Don’t be afraid to ask her what she means or even to have her demonstrate on you so you can get a clearer picture.

I can’t really tell you what it is that she wants you to do or give you a clearer explanation. Heck you didn’t even tell me if she was a top or a bottom. But I did learn a lot of things at a recent workshop I attended at Early to Bed taught by the beautiful and talented Mistress Crimson.

She suggested that warming up a bottom should include literally warming them up by getting their blood flowing. This can decrease pain and bruising. Some examples she gave included massaging the areas you will be smacking around and light slapping with your hand or a riding crop.

As for warming up a top – and yes, tops need to be warmed up as well – its all about setting the mood. It can be difficult for a top to go from romantic dinner out on the town to tying up and spanking their partner. Sure the bottom is ready, willing, and able, but the top often feels a need to transition. Mistress Crimson suggested putting on a CD or a certain outfit that signifies playtime and makes you feel sexy and powerful.

So maybe your wife means something like that? Or maybe she means she needs a psychological warm up. Some people need to feel free to enter a different place when they are going to be doing a BDSM scene. They may just need to zone out or they may want to play a part like evil headmistress or naughty schoolgirl.

So really my advice is to talk some more. Try to figure out what it is your wife really wants and if you don’t understand, ask questions. And if she doesn’t want to tell you, point out that you cannot read her mind, but really want to be able to please her.

Door Jam Cuffs

Ever had fantasies about beating your partner into submission while they were strapped to a wall or door? Want to make those fantasies a reality without installing hardware that could put holes in the wall or lead to embarrassing moments when friends or relatives stop by? These door jam cuffs by Sportsheets may just be the answer!

Babeland recently sent me a set and I gotta admit that they are a lot of fun. You simply throw the plastic bars over or under the other side of the door, close it, and hook your partner in with comfy fleece lined cuffs. Unfortunately, a set only comes with two cuffs so you’ll have to choose between ankles and wrists. I think wrists work just fine, but if you have a particularly fiesty partner you may want to purchase two sets of these so they can be secured properly.

Since the bars that go on the other side of the door are made of a pretty soft plastic there was no damage to the door at all, and believe me my partner tugged hard. The one down side was that there were a couple times when she tugged hard enough to actually open the door. So watch out for that possibility. Also, because of the nature of these, the person being strapped to the door really has to be shorter than the door or its no fun.

I don’t know about all of you, but when I get my hands on bondage toys like these it makes my imagination go wild. I’m always trying to come up with new ways to torture my sexy little sub. I’m sure you’ll come up with new fun things as well. And remember, because they require no installation, you can take them anywhere that there is a door!

Spanking

One of my favorite porn stars, Jiz Lee, recently wrote a blog reviewing Rachel Kramer Bussel’s new erotica book Spanked, which you can find here. But what I really found interesting about the review was the analysis of Jiz Lee’s relationship with spanking. It is very insightful and educational. I love a good spanking, but after reading this post I realize that I am nowhere near the connoisseur that Lee or Bussel are.

Hanky Code

Garnet,
Do lesbians really do this: Lesbian Flagging Codes?

This is usually called the hanky code and while some lesbians may use it, it seems to be most popular amongst gay men and the BDSM community. The idea is that you wear a handkerchief or bandana on your wrist or in your back pocket with whatever type of sex play you are interested in for the evening. This can make things a bit easier if you are a kinkster on the prowl and want to up your possibilities of participating in something specific and very kinky that night. Imagine if you had to flirt with every bar patron for 20 minutes each just to find out that only one or two were interested in the same kinks you are. This saves you time!

Some bars will even have special nights dedicated to the hanky code where patrons are encouraged to wear their kinks on their sleeve, or butt as it were.

I say it is a win, win! Not only do you get to figure out what your potential play partners are into, you have an excuse to check out their ass too.