Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Advanced Fellatio

When I was about 18 years old I ordered two instructional tapes (these were VHS. Am I dating myself?) on pleasing your mate. One was how to please a man and the other was how to please a woman. I lived at home at the time, but luckily had a TV and VCR in my bedroom. So I was all set to learn all I could … or so I thought. The first disappointment was that they shipped two pleasing men tapes, but I was too shy to contact the company for an exchange. Oh how I have changed. The second disappointment was the tape itself. It was horrid. Granted, to my 18 year old brain I did not know just how bad it was. They suggested things like slathering his dick in marshmallow fluff and then licking and sucking it all off. Yeah, that’s not going to get absolutely disgusting really fast. Another suggestion was cutting a hole out of a large warm tomato and fucking him with it. This isn’t an awful idea, but it’s not a great one either. It’s as if they were getting their tips straight from Cosmo.

Oh how things have changed! Tristan Taormino is on the scene and she gives super helpful advice in a totally hot format. Her Expert Guide to Advanced Fellatio is everything that that old tape was not. If only my 18 year old self had had access to her instructional style I would have been much less shy about giving blowjobs. Granted I probably would have started with the regular fellatio DVD, not the advanced one. And I highly suggest you start with that one if you haven’t developed your blowjob style. Luckily, I figured out how to give blowjobs despite that awful tape and was very ready for the advanced version.

The DVD starts with the workshop portion which lasts about 53 minutes. This is where Tristan Taormino goes over the male anatomy; talks about what makes a great blowjob; goes over the different advanced positions – sword swallower, standing 69,and  reverse 69 – which are mostly for the athletic flexible types; how to successfully deep throat;  gagging and face fucking; playing with his balls, perineum, and ass; and different blowjob styles -sensual, sloppy, submissive, and aggressive . In between gems of knowledge, porn stars also talk about what they love about giving or receiving blowjobs which helps add to the discussion. But all that would be horribly boring if we didn’t also have blowjob demos going on with the explanations. For everything that Tristan talks about, there is a corresponding scene to show us how to do it.

Whether it’s Standing 69:

or reverse 69:

And even better, there are cameras in the hands of both the behind the set people AND the male porn stars. You get point of view blowjobs and views from a bit more of a distance so you can see all the angles.

After the workshop portion we see all 3 scenes in their entirety. And the truth of the matter is that after 53 minutes of blowjobs I couldn’t handle anymore. That’s seriously a lot of blowjobs. But that is the point of this DVD so I hardly fault anyone for it. By the end of it you will definitely have more of an idea about how to spice up your blowjobs even if you can’t bend over backwards.

A few days later after I could handle blowjobs I came back to the DVD. The first scene is between Christian and Charley Chase. This is the sloppiest wettest blowjob I’ve ever seen. Saliva, you see, is a great thing to have during a blowjob. That being said, the workshop portion gave me my fill of this bj and I had to fastforward through the full scene. All that slobber and sucky smacky gaggy noises were starting to make me feel sick. It’s just not my cup of tea. I like a good slobbery bj just as much as the next cock lover, but this kinda grossed me out. There were giant spit bubbles and wads of spit on tits, faces, thighs, and dripping onto the floor. This is just a personal preference and you should not let it keep you from giving or getting the sloppiest bj imaginable.

The second scene features Adrianna Nicole and Evan Stone. This has been the least noticeable role for Evan Stone in the history of his entire career. He could be anyone! In fact, for parts of it he was just a disembodied cock that Adrianna was sucking on. And let me tell ya, Adrianna sucks cock like a champ. I think the woman has no gag reflex left. Thankfully she also uses a bit less saliva. No, the only things that were distracting to this hot blowjob were Evan’s dirty feet, the music that just didn’t seem to fit, and the extreme closeups that plague this DVD (I mean really if I can’t actually tell what is going on you’re too damn close!).

The scene doesn’t just contain a bj either! Yay! There’s also some pleasure for Adrianna’s genitals as well. She gets fingered, there’s the reverse 69, and there’s some fucking at the end.

And as usual, Tristan saves the best scene for last: Satine Phoenix sucking and deep throating Danny Wylde’s uncircumcised cock. It is no secret that I adore Satine Phoenix. I think she is one of the most sensual porn stars around. It doesn’t hurt that she’s also a curvy latina with big lips and eyes. After I watched this DVD I have to say that the saddest thing about her quitting porn is that this is the only time her and Danny Wylde work together. Because seriously, this is one of the hottest scenes I’ve ever seen. Ever.

So what makes this scene so extremely hot? Well, besides Satine’s amazing hotness that is? First of all, Danny actually shows his enjoyment. While a lot of male porn stars, and men in general, are all stoic and quiet in their lovemaking, Danny lets it all out. He shows you he is enjoying it. Let this be a lesson to you dudes: making noise and admitting that you’re having fun when you’re having sex is sexy. I once dated a guy who wouldn’t make any noise or even breathe when he was cumming. His face would turn purple and his veins popped out. I was afraid his head was going to explode. I had to teach him to let it out.

Second, both Satine and Danny are really into fucking each other. There is unmistakable chemistry here. The eye contact is intense and you can feel the energy between them.

But mostly, I could easily put myself in the place of Satine. I’ve been there before! The kind of intense fucking where you feel like you couldn’t live without his cock inside of you a second more. Every time Danny’s dick slips out of Satine she whimpers at the loss. And yet when he is fucking her it is almost so intense that she can’t handle it. This scene is going to be in my permanent wank rotation. If you don’t watch anything else in this movie, please watch this scene. That’s why they have VOD so you can watch just one scene easily and don’t have to pay for the whole thing.

Overall: This DVD is fantastic for learning advanced blowjob techniques. This is definitely not for those who have not mastered the basic blowjob though. If you’re feeling confident with your skills, but want to know how to step it up a notch this is definitely the movie for you. If you want to just watch porn and you love watching blowjobs you will think this is the best porno ever. If you just want to watch porn, but want something besides blowjobs you should probably skip this flick except for checking out the last scene with Danny and Satine.

Technical Stuff: Shot in Hi-Def. The music does not match the sex and is a little distracting and sometimes the camera gets a little to up in the action to the point where you can’t really tell what is going on. But overall, the technical stuff is all pretty good. Lighting is well done and sound is fantastic. You can hear what everyone says and the screams are not deafening.

Contest: If you’d like to own a copy of this DVD, but don’t want to buy it I have great news for you! I have an extra copy that I want to give you. There are two ways to enter. You can leave a comment on this post and/or you can tweet about it once per day. Make sure that your profile is public and that you put @garnetjoyce and a link to the contest in the tweet otherwise it won’t count. Example: Win an advanced BJ DVD from @garnetjoyce! Rules: http://vb.ly/266o. Contest ends at midnight CST on April 15th.

Otherwise you can order the DVD straight from Tristan here or watch it instantly on HotMoviesForHer.com.

Frisk Me Review

Another new review up at XCritic! This time I’m finally stepping away from the AbbyWinters stuff and have moved on to Good Releasing titles. In honor of Satine Phoenix’s departure from porn I decided to review Frisk Me first.

njoy eleven in Syd's ass

Despite the piano, the sex was totally hot. These two would have to have absolutely no chemistry at all in order for this scene to not be hot. So what did it involve? Pussy licking, Satine’s pussy grinding into Syd’s face (omg hot!), clit sucking and rubbing, and an njoy eleven in Syd’s ass. Holy crap! While that eleven is in her ass she’s rubbing away at her clit and her entire body is shaking. You know that was a good orgasm! …

… The oral sex from both actors in this scene is really well done. Too often in porn I see oral sex that I would not want to receive, but in this scene I can’t help but wonder just how Tyler’s tongue feels on Madison’s swollen pussy especially when she sits on his face. His cock even curves perfectly for her to deep throat him while they’re in 69. These two should work together all the time! (Read more …)

Blowjob Tips!

This was recently asked on the message boards of a site I hang out on by a person who is super awesome and near and dear to my heart. I responded there, but I decided I’d post my response here as well since amazingly enough, after 2+ years I don’t have a single post on how to give a blowjob on this blog.

I’m queer, mostly dating genderqueer ‘girls’/bois/trans, etc, but I will date born-men, too. It’s just been less common. Since my last break up I’ve been on a man-bender, but oral sex is kinda personal…I haven’t been with that many dudes and it’s been years since I’ve given a blowjob on anything more than a dildo where it’s the same in many ways, but different.

So tips for giving head! I know you have ‘em. …no teeth is a given, I’m not daft Go!

Enthusiasm is key. You have to actually enjoy doing it and want to do it. That always makes things hotter. Take time to look him in the eye and moan while you’re sucking him off.

Start off a bit slow. Don’t go right into the sucking. Lick and stroke his cock, getting it nice and slippery.

Use both hands and your mouth. Get everything into the action! Stroke his cock with one (lubed or saliva’d) hand like you’re following the stripes on a barber pole, follow that hand with your mouth, and use the other one to play with his balls, perineum, and ass if he’s willing. While you’re doing this pay special attention to his frenulum, which is on the underside of the head of the penis. This is one of the most sensitive areas on most men.

To make it even more fun you can straddle his thigh while he lays on his back so that you can grind your cunt into his leg. Breasts brushing against body parts can also help. Really blow jobs are a whole body activity, but many women are only using their mouths.

Also, don’t worry about slobbering. The more slobber the better. And most men seem to enjoy the slurpy noises that go along with it.

Keep in mind that these instructions are a jumping off point. Ultimately the most important part of pleasing your partner is paying attention. You have to pay attention to the way they react to you and what you’re doing. Ask questions, experiment, and have fun. Everyone is different and that’s what makes sex interesting.

(This question was originally asked by a cis-female, but the answer can be adapted to other genders as well. Rub whatever body parts your partner finds to be sexy on their body. Um … not including your eyes … unless you’re both into that …)