Butt Plug | Ask Garnet

Butt Plug That Fits Between the Cheeks

Q: How about a store that sells a decent butt plug? One with a narrow base that fits between the cheeks, and not the rounded, awkward base?

A: There are several great options on the market and I’m not sure why everyone doesn’t make comfy butt plugs that stay in well and fit between the cheeks for extended wear.

Bob is a great beginner plug with a curve for prostate stimulation. It’s made out of a super silky silicone that is easy to take care of and is body healthy. Or if you have entirely too much money let me suggest the same exact toy, but in silver or gold. Because sometimes you just need a little butt jewelry. Those even come with matching cufflinks.

If you like the idea of a heavy metal feeling in your bum, but you don’t have that kind of scratch don’t fear! njoy makes a couple of different options in steel that are a bit more budget friendly including the Pfun Plug great for prostate stimulation and the Pure Plug which comes in 3 different sizes. One thing to keep in mind with metal plugs is that they tend to feel bigger because they are weighty and hard so err on the side of small when choosing a metal plug.

The Ryder Plug will stay put very nicely and fit well between the cheeks for extended wear. It’s made out of silicone so it’s easy to take care of and should last you a life time.

Tristan Taormino, queen of the ass sex, designed her own plug because she saw a void that needed to be filled (pun soooo intended). The plug was named after her: Tristan. This is also a silicone plug.

Beginner Anal Positions

In a recent comment a reader asked: I am curios about anal sex. Me and my husband discuss it but we are waiting on the right time. I was wondering what is the best position for beginners?

Many beginners to anal sex find that it is easiest to start where the person who is being penetrated anally is on top. So think of the cowgirl position, but up the butt instead of in the vagina. Reverse cowgirl would work fine as well. The reason that this can often be the best position for beginners is because the person who is on the receiving end has more control over depth, speed, and angle. You can ease that cock or dildo in as quickly or as slowly as you’d like … although I’d suggest slowly since you’re beginners.

Another option if you’re having a difficult time relaxing is to have the receiver laying on their back, but with their hips and legs supported with pillows. This allows the receiver to relax more, but also gives up a lot of the control. If you and your partner trust each other and have really good communication skills during sex this could be a great option.

No matter what you do though, remember to use lots of lube, warm up with fingers and/or butt plugs, and be patient. Porno ass sex is all pretty staged. You can’t just start fucking an ass gung ho like that. Those performers warmed up beforehand.

For more beginner anal sex tips check out my post here.

If you Google it, I Will Answer #8

I love seeing how people get to my site. And sometimes they inadvertently find my site by asking a question I never answer here. That makes me sad :( So in the interest of getting people’s questions answered I will respond to questions I see people Googling to get here.

It’s been awhile since I’ve had one of these. People have just been getting here by the same old boring ways apparently. But yay, we have a new one!

Q: Can you make a buttplug out of anything?

A: I’m not sure if they’re asking if a butt plug can be made out of any material or if they are planning on making a butt plug themselves. So I will answer each part independently.

1. Butt plugs are made out of many different materials, but it cannot be made out of any material. For example, butter would probably make a pretty bad butt plug material. Sure you could carve it into the shape of a butt plug, but it would probably melt and then you would have a very buttery butt. Butt plugs also shouldn’t be made from jelly, cyberskin, or any other sex toy material which smells awful when taken out of the packaging. If you don’t want to smell it you probably shouldn’t put it in your body.

Butt plugs should be made out of awesome materials like silicone, steel, and glass.

2. Please don’t make your own butt plugs unless you are well versed in making other sex toys (Hint: Not like this guy) and understand that the base needs a wide flare to keep it from getting sucked up your butt. It’s really just better to not make your own butt plugs and to buy them because they tend to be safer if you get them from a reputable manufacturer/sex shop.

If you Google it, I Will Answer #7

Q: Do butt plugs mess with the way you shit?

Short answer: no.

Longer answer: Only if you leave them in for hours and hours and you should be making a bowel movement, but you’re not allowing your body to. The same goes if you’re for some reason trying to shit while you have a butt plug in. Remove the plug. And only wear a plug for short periods of time unless you are experienced and know when to give your ass a break. Plan around your pooping cycles.

And who knows what the hell those plugs that are made of unknown materials will do to your ass. Only use non-porous materials that can be easily sanitized and cared for like silicone, glass, and metal. Also, avoid butt plugs with seams and ones that don’t have a base that is flared wider than the widest point on the plug. If you’re wearing your plug for an extended period of time though you’ll want to make sure that it fits nicely between your ass cheeks. I suggest njoy plugs.

Toys for the Honeymoon

Tomorrow evening the wife and I leave for our honeymoon. Now you may be asking yourselves, “What kinds of toys does a sex educator/sex toy reviewer bring with them on their honeymoon?” Because you know I have a ton of them, but only a couple make the cut. Some of them new and some of them old favorites that go on every trip. The above picture is what I’m pretty sure I’ve decided on bringing. From left to right starting in the top row they are:

Trojan Supras: The first non-latex condom I ever started using that have remained an old standby. Once these have run out though I will probably be switching to the polyisoprene because they are cheaper. The feeling of the condoms don’t really matter that much to me since they are just used on dildos, but they have to be non-latex as I am allergic.

Frank: He’s a cyberskin dildo that I love giving blowjobs to. I use honey dust to keep him lifelike instead of cornstarch so that he tastes yummy.

Durex Avanti: Again, just a condom I had lying around.

Hitachi Magic Wand: Like this one should be a surprise to anyone. Shouldn’t you all own one of these by now? Seriously? Its the best. Nuff said.

Mr. Bendy/Silky: My second favorite dildo ever. This guy is made out of squishy elastomer and has a rod in the center that allows for a bendy good time. I use condoms with him because elastomer is porous, but its totally worth it. This is definitely my favorite strap-on dildo.

Orbit: One of the first dildos I reviewed back when I was just a Carnal Consultant for Early to Bed. Still one of my faves! Although if I decide that I have too many dildos on the trip either Orbit or Frank will get cut.

Feeldoe Slim: High quality double-sided dildo that no romantic vacation can do without. Can be used with or without a harness.

Ella by Lelo: By far my absolute favorite dildo. And I know what I’m talking about; I own 14! This dildo is the absolute best for g-spot. Leave it to Lelo to only make one dildo, but have it be absolutely amazing.

Middle row:

Thigh Harness: This is a newer toy of mine that I’m trying out for Babeland. We’ve given it a few goes, but feel that in order to review it properly it needs to come with me on our honeymoon. Look for that review coming up soon.

Colore Moi Strawberry Body Paint: Yummy painting! Strawberries and champagne anyone?

Gun Oil: High quality silicone lubricant for some hot hot shower sex.

Maximus: My favorite lube. This stuff is waterbased and has the consistency of hair gel. I was finally smart enough to get a travel bottle that wouldn’t get all over everything too!

Saturn: This is a small ridged waterproof vibe made out of a silky plastic. Super cheap and hopefully fun in the shower. Never used this one before, but picked it up special for my honeymoon.

Dirty Dice: Yes, I said Dirty Dice. Honeymoons are supposed to be for silly sex games damnit! And I’ve never played with these before so I thought they’d be a fun way to get into the play.

Buddy: A silicone butt plug that is a little on the smaller side, but not too small.

Tweezer Clamps: Because with all this sweetness there needed to be some pain …

Silky Blindfold: Because sometimes its better if they can’t see whats coming. Mwahahaha!

Bottom row:

Flower Balm: Another product sent to me to review. I’ve played with it a little bit and I can tell you this: The menthol definitely works on clits and lips! Look for an upcoming review after the honeymoon!

Heart Paddle: I don’t know if anyone carries this anymore, but its a great lightweight wooden paddle that makes a great loud SMACK noise without hurting TOO much.

Vibrating Makeup Brush: No, I don’t care about being discreet. Discreet vibes will not get me off. However, the vibrating brush is great for sensation play.

Non-latex Gloves: We are monogamous and therefore are definitely fluid bonded. However, I work in an office and get lots of papercuts. The pH of the vag being what it is, gloves often make things less stingy for me. Also, the lower amount of friction helps with my arthritis.

Vibe Harness: OMG I looked at this thing today when I pulled it out and I think it may be time for a new one. This thing is OLD!! We’re talking, before this relationship old. But its my wife’s favorite. Its like a part of her by now.

Oh just realized that in the top row is my Teneo Uno you just can’t see it. Taking that too.

So there you have it! Should be a fun honeymoon. See you all next week.

The Good, The Bad, and The Beautiful

Since for some reason you people still aren’t sending me questions (all time high subscriber rate and yet no questions!?!?) I’m going to try something new here. I’d prefer to create reader-inspired content, but without that I had to come up with my own ideas for new stuff.

Working at a sex shop and trying to become a sex educator involves a lot of reading of sex ed books, watching of porn, using of toys, and in general trying to learn as much as possible. While I do this I am bound to come across great things and I’m bound to come across … well not so great things. So today I give you:

The Good, The Bad, and The Beautiful (we don’t believe in ugly sex here)

The Good: I just finished watching an incredible porn that has won lots of awards and Violet Blue apparently has raved about. So maybe I’m a little behind the times and you all already know about it. But in case you don’t, you should really check out The Bi Apple. Here is a porn that has it all! We’re talking real attractive bodies, people of color, real bisexuality (not just women’s), real pleasure, good quality sex toys, strap-ons, male-male, male-female, female-female, and male-male-female sex. It also features some negotiation, which is pretty non-existent in mainstream porn. They are telling each other how they like it. One of the best pornos that I’ve seen and really the only one of its kind that I have seen thus far. Keeping in mind though that I didn’t have too much experience with porn videos before I started my job at Early to Bed.

And here is the trailer for The Bi Apple:

The Bad:

I read sex ed books quite often and a lot of the information is good, but sometimes I come across some misinformation. I would hate for people to see this and think that it is accurate so I want to share some misinformation I found recently.

I grew up on The Guide to Getting it On. My mom “hid” a copy of the first edition in the bookshelf for me when I was pretty young. She understood that I probably had a lot of questions about the how-to’s of sex that I would never ask her and she preferred I got that information from a reliable source instead of what the kids were saying on the playground. Go Sex Positive Mom! Well The Guide has been so popular that it is now more than twice its original size and is in its 5th edition. I read the 4th edition several years ago, but now reading the 5th edition and knowing so much more than I used to know I’m finding flaws. This book is VERY heterosexual and I feel like it doesn’t need to be.

I have a few other issues with it as well, but we’ll get right down to the nitty gritty of it here. The wonderful lube connoisseur, Metis Black of Tantus Silicone, told me that the chapter on lube was not very good so I kept her words in mind as I read through it. She was right; it isn’t very good. In fact at one point they give straight up misinformation. On page 108 the book states “Most silicone lubes are water-based, which means you can use them with latex condoms.” Yes, you can use silicone-based lubes with condoms but not because they are water-based. They aren’t water-based, they are silicone-based. Hence why they are called that. You can use silicone-based lubricants with condoms because they aren’t oil-based. Oil-based lubricants will deteriorate latex condoms.

Sometimes you will find hybrids out there that combine water-based and silicone-based lubes but that’s a different story entirely. Sliquid Silk is an example of this.

Even though The Guide has these flaws I still strongly recommend it to heterosexuals because it is very well written and has a lot of really great information in it.

The Beautiful:

Erotic Nature photos by David Steinberg are amazing. They feature real couples having real sex. I love looking into their faces and seeing the desire, the love, and the fun. He even has a section on sex and disability, which seems completely absent from a lot of other artists’ work.