I’m Looking For a Man


There has been a lot of buzz around men’s prostates lately and since I do not have one and nor does my partner I feel like I’m missing out on all the really good info. There has especially been a lot of buzz around the Aneros and I want to hear about how great it really is.

So dear readers please write in and tell me your experiences with the Aneros and remember I want detail! I would also be willing to purchase an Aneros MGX for one special male reader who has some experience with butt play and is a good writer. If you’d be interested in this deal send me a writing sample reviewing something else sexual like condoms or cock rings or even lube. If I like your style and think you’d write a good review then I’ll send an Aneros your way. I don’t care what your sexual orientation or gender identity is, but you MUST have a prostate and feel comfortable writing openly about sex. I would also prefer someone who is having sex relatively regularly and not just with themselves. Starving artists who really want an awesome expensive butt toy, but just can’t afford it are encouraged to apply.

Send reviews to garnetjoyce at gmail dot com.

Fisting

First off, I want to thank dep for the wonderful new site design. He did a great job and I hope you all enjoy it. I’ve also added a whole bunch of new recommendations along the side as well as a best of. Check them out and let me know if you think any other entries should be put in the best of section.

Secondly, in case you haven’t noticed, you can now reach my website simply by going to askgarnet.com. There is no longer a need to type in the blogspot part. It will redirect you. Eventually I may move everything over to the new URL.

And now on to a new question.

What’s a good way to introduce fisting? How do you start? What’s the best lube to use? Any techniques that are good for the novice?

Fisting is not something to be entered into lightly (no pun intended). Both parties should really think about how comfortable they are with an entire hand inside of themselves or the other person as well as whether or not they think it is actually possible. Some people just can’t get that much inside no matter how much they’re warmed up first. And some people are just fine until they look down and see just how much is inside of them and start to freak out.

Things you will absolutely need in order to fist or be fisted:

1. Trust – You absolutely have to be able to trust each other because this is a sexual act that can really surprise you and possibly really hurt you. I’ve heard a lot of people say that they are amazed at the amount of emotion that fisting brings out in them. And lets face it, there’s also the possibility of physical damage as well if precautions aren’t made and if things go too fast.

2. Communication – As with any sexual exchange communication is extremely important. But when you start entering into sexual acts that can really take a lot of patience and understanding between partners communication becomes all that much more important. If you can’t discuss what feels good with each other you definitely should not try fisting.

3. Warming up – Lets face it, a fist is a lot to take for anyone. So warm up! If you’re fisting a vagina then you can easily just use fingers. Start with one or two fingers and then add one a little at a time when she is ready. Dildos can also be used. If you are warming up an ass to be fisted I highly recommend using butt plugs to warm it up. A lot of in and out motions will wear the ass out and you’ll never get that fist in there. Instead use butt plugs of varying sizes to warm up. You can start off with something small like Little Flirt and work your way up to something like the Severin with several sizes in between.

4. Lube – Lots and lots of thick lube. I suggest something like Maximus which has a very thick consistency and lasts a good long time.

5. Gloves – Either latex or nitrile gloves depending on what you prefer and if either of you have a latex allergy. These are a great way to make your sex safer especially when stressing body parts out when fisting. They are absolutely necessary if you will be fisting an ass and will make the experience more comfortable for both of you.

Something to also keep in mind about fisting is that it might not happen the first time you try. Be patient and try not to be disappointed. It is something you should really work up to and allow a lot of time for. And if you or your partner start to feel uncomfortable, stop. You can always try again later if you want to.

And once again: communication, communication, communication. Start communicating before your clothes ever come off. Talk about your expectations and your fears. Communicate during. Talk about what feels good, what doesn’t, your emotions. Communicate afterward. Talk about what worked and what didn’t, what you learned for next time, and if there will even be a next time.

Babeland Sale!

Just wanted to give you all a heads up on the sale going on over at Babeland right now. They have Vixen Dildos and several other items on sale at 20% off. That’s a steal! Click here for the goods. Sale goes through the 11th.

Havana Vibrating Plug


This month’s Babeland review is the Havana Vibrating Plug. This is a great anal toy for beginners and those who are a little more advanced because it is on the smaller side. It is made out of very soft pink silicone and has a hole in the bottom for the cordless bullet vibe that is included. Being silicone means it is a great toy for anal play as it can be completely sterilized by boiling it in water (without the vibe of course), throwing it in the top rack of your dishwasher, or even just washing it with soap and water. Silicone also means that vibrations are conducted very well so you will definitely feel the vibe in this toy.

This toy feels fantastic especially when combined with other sensations like a vibrator on the clit, vaginal penetration, or cock and ball play. The only downside is that it doesn’t do what a butt plug should do, namely stay in place. You will probably have to hold this guy in with an extra hand so any type of very active sex play for the wearer is probably going to be out of the question.

A couple of tips for this toy and others like it:
- Whenever engaging in any type of anal play make sure to use LOTS of lube. I like Maximus.
- Do NOT use silicone lube with silicone toys.
- When putting a bullet vibe into a toy, always put a drop or two of lube on the bullet first so you can easily remove it later.

And now a reminder that voting for the lube contest ends tomorrow at 11:59PM CST so don’t forget to cast your vote.

Sex Toys 101 Kit

This month’s Babeland toy review is the Sex Toys 101 Kit. It contains 3 sex toys (the Nubby G, a Silver Bullet, and the Little Flirt) a book about sex toys, a lube sampler pack, and 4 AA batteries.

First, the toys. I had never actually tried a Nubby G before even though it is one of the more popular yet cheaper toys on the market. The toy is made out of jelly which is a cheap porous material. It is relatively low quality, but for the price you really can’t complain. Babeland told me they were sending me their new Nubby G which was now phthalate-free, but the box says nothing about that so I can’t say that it actually is. The toy is angled for g-spot stimulation, which it does pretty well. But overall I have to say that I was not very impressed with this toy. Even though I don’t like internal vibrations they aren’t a big deal because I know a lot of women enjoy that, but it had other flaws which I felt were unforgivable. First, the nubbies for which it is named are not the soft pliable nubs I thought they would be. They were hard and pointy and not at all comfortable. Secondly, the platform which the nubs were on are probably supposed to hit one’s clit, but either both mine and my girlfriend’s anatomy are completely different from all women or this toy is just not designed well because you have to work on angling the toy in what I believe is the wrong direction in order to get it to hit your clit. That’s a BIG drawback. One upside though is that the vibe is relatively quiet and yet still pretty powerful. Overall this toy seems to get mixed reviews. It seems people either love it or they hate it. I gotta say I hate it though and I really doubt I’d recommend it to anyone.

The silver bullet, on the other hand, is pretty much a requirement for anyone who owns sex toys whether you’re a collector or just starting to buy them. It is a very simple, cheap vibe that is really versatile. It can be used during masturbation or partner play and it is really unintimidating for those of you who find sex toys a little scary. Bullets are made of hard plastic so they are non-porous and you can use sleeves on them to add a little more fun and some of them will even fit in cockrings. You should NEVER use a bullet internally though. I’ve seen it done in some porns and it makes me really nervous.

The Little Flirt is a silicone butt plug made by Tantus. It is a perfect butt plug for beginners. It is very small and easy to keep inside. Tantus does a great job of designing sex toys that really work well with the body by using the best materials and really caring about its customers. And the best part about it is that it is super easy to clean. Silicone is non-porous and can be boiled, washed with soap and water, put on the top shelf of your dishwasher, bleached, you name it. If you’re looking for a first time butt plug I highly recommend this one.

The book, Sex Toys 101: A Playfully Uninhibited Guide, is well written, informative, and has beautiful artistic pictures of sex toys. However, the downside of a book like this is that the sex toy industry is becoming more and more popular and moving faster than ever. That means that this book quickly becomes out of date. Even since its printing there are new sex toys out there that need to be covered that aren’t in this book and there are other toys in the book that you’ll have a really hard time finding. What would be nice is if they could have an online database of this kind of information that could be constantly updated.

The Lube Sampler Pack comes with 7 different lube pillows that you can try out. They may or may not be the ones on the site as they may substitute others if they run out. My pack was a bit different than on the site, but still included a great sampling of different lubes. If you’re not sure what lube you’d like best, lube sampler packs are a great way of figuring this out. Its a lot cheaper than buying a big bottle of lube, deciding you don’t like it, and then buying another big bottle of lube. (Speaking of lube, don’t forget about the lube contest I’m having! Entries are accepted until 5/31.)

The kit also comes with 4 AA batteries which is always a nice touch. There’s nothing worse than getting brand new sex toys and then realizing that you’re out of batteries.

The Purpose of a Butt Plug

OK, so my friends and I were talking about this the other week and we weren’t really sure.

We were talking about butt plugs and how the term “plug” implying it’s stopping up a hole or filling some sort of gap. We looked it up on wikipedia and really only saw that it was not so much functional as it was used for pleasure, despite the implied meaning. Does a butt plug have a functional purpose like to plug the butt from leaking (gross I know!) or is it merely for sexual pleasure?

There is more than one meaning for the word plug. Think of an electrical plug or gauged out ear jewelry that is also called a plug (pic). Neither of those has the function of stopping anything from coming out or going in. They are merely objects that one inserts into a hole where it remains until taken out. A butt plug is an object that is inserted into a hole, specifically the anus, and stays there until taken out. And yes, it is usually used for pleasure.