Q: What would you recommend for a first g spot dildo? I’ve only experimented with bullets before and I don’t like how flimsy they’re built or their lack of power. Any advice would be appreciated.
A: As with any firsts, I tend to recommend that people start on the cheaper side to see if they enjoy the type of stimulation that that particular toy provides, and to learn more about what they really want in a toy of that type. It’s also a good idea to go for something with a lot of versatility so that you can find out for yourself exactly what it is your like and what you don’t like.
The qualities you look for in any g-spot stimulator will be a pronounced curve with which to stimulate the g-spot, and firmness. Most g-spots prefer a firm touch, not a light tickle. But that doesn’t mean you have to start beating at it with steel. A firm silicone should do the job as well.
But I’m a little confused here because you’re asking about dildos and then you mentioned vibrating bullets. Dildos, in general, don’t vibrate. Although, some come with bullets that you can place inside of them so that they do vibrate. If the usual one speed bullet doesn’t do it for you, there is the option of using other bullets that are a similar size. The RO-80mm Bullet Vibe packs a bit more of a punch than the standard bullet that comes with dildos, but it’s still cordless. If you want a vibe that is going to be even stronger you’re going to have to start looking at cords, but I warn you that you should never pull the vibe out of the dildo by it’s cord as that will break it very easily. The Turbo Bullet is a great option for a vibe that will fit in a standard vibe hole in your dildo. It’s a heck of a lot stronger than the standard vibe and has a few different speeds.
There are a lot of great g-spot dildos on the market and the favorites tend to be pricier, but since we’re just starting out we’re not looking for anything expensive. I suggest you try:
- Rose G-Spotter- A glass toy which will give you the pressure your g-spot wants. It has a pronounced curve which will make finding your g-spot easy and a handle so you don’t lose your grip. If it turns out you don’t enjoy g-spot stimulation, you can use the other side as a dildo as well! That’s what I call versatile. And at $38 it’s very affordable. Does not vibrate.
- Ella – This is my favorite g-spot dildo. It’s made of a firm silicone and it’s flat head on a curved angle keeps constant contact with your g-spot. A sensation that is unlike most other g-spot toys which just kind of scratch the surface. Plus it’s made by Lelo so you know it’s high quality. You can also use both sides of this toy. I personally find that it’s nice to warm up with the straight end and then get off with the curved side. This one is $44. Does not vibrate.
- Gee Whiz – If you already have a Hitachi Magic Wand this may be the perfect option. It’s a silicone g-spot dildo that fits over the head and give you the powerful vibrations that you desire. $50
There are other great g-spot dildos, some that vibrate and some that don’t, but I was trying to stick to $50 or less. So if you’re willing to spend more then great, but for a first time toy, I wouldn’t go crazy.
Here are some of the less expensive, but still good quality g-spot vibes on the market that are great for newbies:
- Orchid G – This is an insanely popular vibrator, and for good reason. At $22 it won’t break the bank and it works great for internal and external stimulation. If it turns out you don’t like g-spot stimulation from a vibrator, this is great for using clitorally and can be great for partner sex because it easily fits between two people with it’s long handle. It’s hard plastic so it’s not the awesomest of toys and will get louder over time, but it is what it is. Plus, if you want to read up on g-spot stimulation and get this toy you can save by getting the G-spot Kit. With 2 AA batteries, this vibe is relatively strong as well.
- Venus - This is a great G-spot vibe if you want a bit softer of a texture than the Orchid G can provide. It says it’s silicone which is probably true, but I doubt it’s a high quality medical grade silicone given the manufacturer. Still, at $30 it’s inexpensive and has variable vibration speeds with a g-spot curve.
- Briana – This is a g-spot toy for those who prefer a bit more girth. It’s made out of a softer plastic that is phthalate free, but I’d still recommend using a condom with it since it is porous which means bacteria can harbor in it. The vibrations on this one are a bit rumblier than the other two mentioned. This one is also $22 and totally affordable.
And be sure to use plenty of lube! A thinner lube that glides easily may be your best option. I suggest Sliquid H2O with all toys or Sliquid Silver with non-silicone toys.
Every so often one must go through a purge. Because I have so many sex toys I have to get rid of them from time to time. Above is a crappy cellphone pic of all the toys I am sending off to be recycled. I realize that what I am getting rid of is bigger than most people’s entire collection. But the truth is that I think I bought only one or two of those toys. I am a choosy buyer and will normally only get toys that I know I will really like.
Some of these toys have very fond memories and some of them have only been used once or twice. One has never been used (damn duplicates). A couple are the only vibes my wife brought into our relationship. They have never been used since we moved in together. After all, why would she want to use those when she has access to my entire collection? Most of the toys were given to me for review, but keep in mind that just because I don’t like something doesn’t mean you won’t. And truth be told, I did really like some of these, but I’ve replaced them with better toys. Or maybe my vagina has just gotten pickier.
I thought I had a lot more to get rid of, but I purged most of the worst toys (jelly awfulness) in the last go around.
I am a little reluctant to get rid of the green silicone g-spotter dildo, but it has a taint tapper and as aag said recently, I am delicately tainted.
The Alumina Revolve is a toy I actually bought myself. It was on mega sale at my store because we just could not sell it. On top of that, none of the sex toy companies I’m affiliated with sell it either. And now after owning this toy I realize how unfortunate that is. This toy has moved itself up to the number two spot in my dildo collection, only being beat out by my Lelo Ella. Although, it actually may just beat out the Ella when it comes to partner sex because it is easier for a second party to hold onto than the Ella is.
The nitty gritty about this toy: It’s beautiful! It’s made out of anodized aluminum which is a very body and earth safe material. It is non-porous and can be fully sterilized. If you want to sterilize it you can wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution, boil it for a few minutes, or throw it in the dishwasher without soap. Or you could just wash it with soap and water if you’re keeping it all to yourself.
The aluminum is fully recyclable if at any point you tire of this toy. I can’t imagine why or how that would happen and it’s not like it’s going to wear out. This thing should last you a lifetime.
Aluminum has definite heft to it which makes it great as a kegel exerciser or a g-spot toy, but it’s also lighter than steel toys which makes it a bit easier on the hands and wrists. Aluminum is also compatible with both water and silicone based lubes so try it with a few to find your favorite.
All Alumina toys have two ends that are fully functional and you can mix and match them for lots of fun. The two ends unscrew from each other and can be screwed together with other Alumina toys.
I’ll admit that I actually have only used one side of this toy so far but that’s because I’m totes addicted to it. I’ve only played with the end with the three bloops on it because it feels like waves of pleasure surging through me with each in and out motion. However, after reading Britni’s review of the toy I now realize that I may have been missing out by not playing with the other end. I promise to get right on that.
What I also love about this toy is that the end you’re not fucking yourself with acts as a handle. More sex toys should come with handles as it can make fucking yourself or someone else much easier. Although that also means that this toy is obviously not harness or butt compatible.
Go buy yourself an Alumina Revolve so it doesn’t disappear like one of my other favorite dildos: Orbit.
I love seeing how people get to my site. And sometimes they inadvertently find my site by asking a question I never answer here. That makes me sad :( So in the interest of getting people’s questions answered I will respond to questions I see people Googling to get here.
Q: What happens if a woman puts a dildo in without being wet?
A: All kinds of uncomfortableness. Lubrication keeps things moving smoothly as it were. It may be difficult for her to move the dildo around or even penetrate herself without any sort of discomfort. There’s the possibility that she could even tear the delicate tissue in her vagina. So before using a dildo ladies, please get yourself all hot and bothered enough to lubricate and/or use store bought lube.
Gotta say that I love your blog even if I’m not necessarily the intended audience.
I’ve got another question. I’m the “Phil” who loves to use strapons with my wife (Men Wearing Strap-ons). There are lots of strapons on the market. Lately I’ve settled on the Alias 6 inch vibrating strapon, occasionally using Doc Johnson a 7″ vibrating strapon. But I would like to spice it up a bit and get some variety.
What strapons do you suggest? The ones designed as “hollow” don’t suit as I have no erectile issues and generally don’t fit inside which results in a “floppy” or not solid dildo, so I generally stay away from ones designed for men. My partner likes about the 6-7inch mark but needs it to vibrate strongly. What are your picks?
There is no one who is not my intended audience. My hope is that everyone can learn at least one new thing by reading my blog. So believe it or not Phil, you are my intended audience. And I’m very happy that you love my blog.
There are indeed a lot of strap-ons on the market and you sir are using crappy quality ones. I’m sorry to say it, but you’re really getting what you’re paying for. The cheap materials and lack of versatility make for bad quality sex toys. You should actually probably be using condoms with those dildos if you aren’t already. Seriously, you can’t really be sure whats in them. The truth is that the sex toy industry is a mostly unregulated one. Sex toys are deemed novelty items and therefore not intended to be put in your body. Awful, right?
So I can give you my recommendations, but they may end up costing you a pretty penny. But the good news is that the stuff I can recommend is going to last you a lot longer, will be a lot more body safe, and more versatile.
You shouldn’t buy a strap-on, you should buy a harness and a dildo which ends up equaling a strap-on. You should be purchasing a harness that is compatible with many dildos. That way you can vary the cocks without having to have a million and one harnesses. Also, its a lot easier to take care of them if you can separate them. And let me just say that vac-u-lock sucks. Lets just get that out there. They use crappy materials and its basically a trick so you only buy their products since only one company makes them. *breathes*
Okay, that’s been said. Now what I would recommend for a male bodied individual would be the Commando Harness because it leaves room for your junk and because its super versatile and comfy. It comes with 2 different sized O-rings that will hold your super fantastic new strap-on dildo(s). Another option would be the Crown Harness which sits higher up and out of the way of your junk. This one comes with 3 different O-rings which will allow for quite the variety in size of dildo. Or, if you’re anti-leather you can try the Velvet Harness. The cushy backplate comes off easily in order to accommodate more space for your junk. Plus its nylon so it will be a bit easier to take care of.
Now for dildos you really want to be looking for one made out of silicone. They are a bit pricier but they will last a looooong time. Some of them even have lifetime warranties. They’re also non-porous which means bacteria won’t harbor in them and it is a body safe material. This translates to you not needing to use a condom with these bad boys. They are a-ok! Some options of vibrating silicone dildos:
- Buzz is a sleek purple silicone dildo measuring 6.5″x1.5″
- Echo is textured for some more interesting sensations. Size-wise it is the same as Buzz
- Prince is also a smooth silicone dildo, but the hole in the bottom where the vibe goes is bigger than the previously mentioned ones, which makes this one more versatile for using with other vibrators. Prince is also the same size as the previous two.
- Pink Panther is a smooth silicone dildo that looks nothing like a cock if you’re interested in that. It is also a bit shorter and thinner than the previous dildos measuring in at 6″x1.25″
- Leo is a bit heftier of a cock measuring in at 7.125″x1.5.” Leo is a very popular model and resembles a penis a bit more than the other dildos I’ve mentioned so far. I feel like he may actually a bit girthier than the measurements say though.
- Woody is fabulous in red and also looks more like a real penis than some of the others. This guy is a pretty standard 6.5″x1.5″
All of these dildos come with a vibrator although they’re not particularly strong vibes. One of my fellow sex bloggers, Red, recently reviewed a really powerful bullet that is the same size as the standard watch battery vibe that comes with all the above dildos, but is more powerful. Check out her review here. The one thing to keep in mind though is that while it would be more convenient to pull the bullet out of the dildo by its cord, that will shorten its life by a lot so it is inadvisable.
The thing is, is that bullet vibe is extremely expensive. I honestly haven’t seen any bullet vibes that are that pricey (granted I don’t spend much time looking at bullet vibes), but it seems a bit ridiculous. So what I’m thinking is that the regular vibe that comes with the dildo might be okay if your wife held a vibe on her clit while you’re doing her. Not too many women need strong vibrations in their vagina unless they’re not receiving clitoral stimulation. There are tons of vibrators on the market so its difficult to give recommendations since I don’t really know what your wife likes. But luckily Babeland has a great guide for choosing a vibrator. But let me know if you need any more specific recommendations.
sent me a thigh harness
ages ago! I swear I haven’t been slacking. Its just taken me awhile to figure out how I like to use it. Because at first it just wasn’t doing it for me, but with something that is so extremely different from what you are used to, it can be totally worth it to continue exploring until you figure it out.
The thigh harness is made by Sportsheets out of neoprene. To use it, the wearer slips a dildo through the hole from the underside and then wraps the harness around their thigh, securing it with velcro. And then a happy person takes that cock for a ride.
- Only comes in one size so if you’re a bigger person you may find it difficult to wear. My thigh is 26 inches and I wasn’t able to wear the harness as high up as I would’ve liked.
- Can wear on the knees to have someone bouncing up and down on your leg really hard.
- Doesn’t protrude from the crotchal parts so there is no real genital stimulation going on from the cock riding.
- Doesn’t protrude from the crotchal parts so you are left wide open for your partner’s hands or whatever to be stimulated by them.
- Great for those with limited movement or hard to reach crotchal areas. In other words, if you’re fucking in a wheelchair, sometimes its easier to hop up and down on their thigh than try to figure out where your legs go in order to get you to their pelvis.
- Great for men with ED or who have a lady/man who just plum wears them out and they need a cock substitute.
- Can be totally hot to watch your partner get him/herself off while you watch!
- You can wear one on each thigh and please two people at once!
So when I first tried this harness out I was disappointed, but that’s because I found that I didn’t like to use it in traditional pelvis harness ways. It actually feels a little ridiculous some of the time. Especially if the wearer is on top and just moving their leg back and forth. One just longs for the crotch stimulation for the wearer as well.
But then I gave it some thought and decided to try it during Domination/submission play. That turned out to be more my style! There are times when I don’t allow any access to my body to my sub except for my feet … if she begs. By having her ride my thigh, there is the guarantee that I won’t be getting any physical stimulation, although plenty of mental. And it affords me the luxury of having to do less work with my arthritic hands. Because it can be difficult to fuck someone with a dildo or your hand after you’ve just spent time beating them.
So if you decide to try out the thigh harness, don’t give up. Try it with different positions and different types of play. I bet you’ll be able to find a way to incorporate it and make sex more fun.