But what makes it worse is when people who identify as feminists say they’re feminists, but don’t hate men. [...]]]> This drives me crazy. There is this perception that feminists are haters of men. This just isn’t true. Sure, some feminists hate men but so do people who don’t identify as feminists. There is no real correlation here.

But what makes it worse is when people who identify as feminists say they’re feminists, but don’t hate men. Celebrities, average people, and even feminist bloggers are guilty of this. When you say “I’m a feminist, but I don’t hate men” you help to feed the assumption that most feminists do hate men. The same could be true if you say “I’m a feminist, but I’m not a lesbian” or “I’m a feminist, but I shave my legs” or “I’m a feminist, but I still like to wear dresses.” Although, the bigger problem with all of those is the idea that the opposite is undesirable and somehow bad. These are all the things that the oppressive majority uses to keep feminism, and women in general, down. Nothing shuts down an argument quicker than completely dismissing someone because they are an ugly, fat, hairy lesbian. Because apparently if you are those things then you do not deserve to have an opinion.

But what they’re really saying is that you have these opinions because no man would want you anyway and here is where we get to the root of the problem with sexism. If you want a mate you have to appeal to men (lesbians and queer women are supposed to appeal to men as well) and apparently if you appeal to men then you have no desire to be a feminist. Because all your dreams are fulfilled in getting married and having your man’s babies?  I’m not really sure how all of that works. This is quite possibly the case because I’ve always been a strong feminist woman who does not back down. The mates I have had were interested in me because of these qualities, not despite them. And believe it or not, I’ve had way more male mates than female.

And this brings us full circle. Feminists don’t hate men, they hate the culture of male dominance. This is a big distinction that the mainstream doesn’t seem to understand.

So please, for the love of all things equal, stop saying “I’m a feminist, but …”

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This post, “I’m a Feminist, but …”, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 08/27/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: “I’m a Feminist, but …”. Thanks for visiting!
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“This is the pairing we’ve been waiting for! Or at least I have. Lorelei with her epic hotness and Billy Castro with [...]]]> Here’s my latest installment on XCritic. I reviewed Speakeasy which won a Feminist Porn Award for most tantalizing trans film. My advice: rent it, but don’t spend the cash to buy it. Here’s a snippet:

“This is the pairing we’ve been waiting for! Or at least I have. Lorelei with her epic hotness and Billy Castro with his rugged handsomeness. This should be a scene that causes all to wank. And maybe, just maybe, had I muted this scene I might have loved it. But I made the mistake of keeping the sound on. At first Billy’s deep rumbly moans were totally hot. That is until his very breathing became moaning. Every breath in and out was a moan. A low, hoarse moan that sounded more like a 3 pack a day smoker who just climbed a couple flights of stairs. Combine this with Lorelei’s whinnying moans and we have a chorus of annoying which completely detracts from the sex.” Read more

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This post, Speakeasy, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 05/09/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Speakeasy. Thanks for visiting!
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For most of my life I identified as bisexual, but for the past few years I have identified as queer because bisexual didn’t feel like it [...]]]> I hate that this even needs to be said, but apparently it does. I am not a lesbian. I have never been a lesbian and I will never be a lesbian.

For most of my life I identified as bisexual, but for the past few years I have identified as queer because bisexual didn’t feel like it fit anymore. I identify as queer because it is a big old umbrella term that allows me to be me. Bisexuality implies there are only two sexes and I do not agree with that. There are more than two biological sexes. If you don’t know this then I highly recommend you read through this website. Educate yourself. Also, sex and gender are two separate things and I believe that there is a whole spectrum of different gender representations and identities and I’m attracted to a whole lot of them. I do not believe in limiting myself. And I believe that sexuality is a complex and fluid thing.

I also stopped identifying as bisexual because I felt like it was a pejorative word. I was judged a whole lot when I would tell people that I was bi. Lesbians didn’t trust me, heterosexual men always asked stupid questions, and society as a whole thought I was going through a phase.

But even if I did identify as bisexual it wouldn’t really matter because the truth is that when I’m in a serious relationship my sexuality is always erased. When I was with a man I was assumed to be heterosexual and being married to a woman means that I’m  assumed to be a lesbian. It is so frustrating to have your identity erased.

Am I qualified to teach about how to please men? Um yeah! Hello! I have sucked more cock than probably 90% of you reading this.

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This post, My Identity is Erased, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 04/14/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: My Identity is Erased. Thanks for visiting!
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You know what makes me feel good, like in my pants? Porn. You know what makes me feel good, like in my heart? Helping those in need. Now, if only we could figure out a way to do both at the same time we could have [...]]]>

Image from Jiz Lee's new project: Karma Pervs

You know what makes me feel good, like in my pants? Porn. You know what makes me feel good, like in my heart? Helping those in need. Now, if only we could figure out a way to do both at the same time we could have warm fuzzies in our belly AND in our hands!

Lucky for us we don’t have to work too hard on this one because Jiz Lee is doing it all for us. They (god I hate incorrect grammar, but damn it if I won’t use it for the one and only Jiz who is genderqueer) has started a new project where you, the audience, can buy exclusive porno sets of hotties and the proceeds will go to a charity of Jiz’s choice. Each month its a different charity. This month’s charity is the STOP AIDS Project which works to … well … stop AIDS in the gay and bisexual men’s communities in San Francisco.

Its $7.99 per month to join. That seems a bit steep for just one set of pictures (50 in the current set), but you have to remember that really you’re supporting the charity of choice and getting porn out of the deal. Each month you have re-join so you are actively supporting the cause. What I can’t tell though is if you get access to all the pictures or just that month’s pictures. It’s not too clear. And it would also be nice to be able to sign up for recurring charges if you want to. But this is new so I’m sure the bugs will get worked out.

Speaking of new sites, there are a couple of other sites out that are pretty new and pretty damn hot. They aren’t necessarily doing the same good work that Jiz is doing, but we can’t all be do-gooders all the time. Sometimes we just want to wank.

Do you like fat women? Do you like BDSM and other fun kinky stuff? Are you horribly disappointed at the lack of the two of them together in porn? Well your dreams have come true with Padded Kink!

Click the picture for a free gallery

Or maybe what you really really want is cock. Lots and lots of cock. I mean who doesn’t love cock, right? But this cock is all strapped-on all the time. Check out CockSexual for all the cock you could ever want. They’re stroking their cocks, they’re fucking people with them, cocks are getting sucked. There’s even a real cock or two sprinkled in for fun. Its a cock-fest over there and I couldn’t be happier.

Yeah, thats another picture of Jiz Lee. I couldn’t help myself. They is everywhere!

All this nakedness is … inspiring!

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This post, Porn for a Cause, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 03/03/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Porn for a Cause. Thanks for visiting!
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… Cisgender refers to people who experience and present their gender in a way that’s aligned with the gender of their body. It contrasts with transgender, which refers to people who experience [...]]]> This is the best explanation I’ve seen on the meanings of cisgender vs transgender and why we use these words to describe someone’s gender.

… Cisgender refers to people who experience and present their gender in a way that’s aligned with the gender of their body. It contrasts with transgender, which refers to people who experience their gender as different from the physical gender they were born to.

… The prefix cis means “on the same side” while trans means “on the other side”.

… The reason that the word cisgender is important to use is that it takes away the idea that being cisgender is “normal.” When we assume that man = cisgender man unless we use the term transgender, we reinforce the idea that cisgender people are normal and transgender people aren’t. Of course, being cisgender is more common but when we use language that reinforces the idea that more common equals normal, we marginalize people who are well within the range of diversity that exists in the world. (Read more)

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This post, Cisgender vs Transgender, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 01/13/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Cisgender vs Transgender. Thanks for visiting!
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Babeland recently sent us a packing strap made by Aslan Leather. A packing strap is used to keep the bulge in place by transmen, genderqueers, drag kings, and those who like to play around with gender (including just dressing up for Rocky Horror). Because the last thing you want is for your cock to fall down [...]]]>

Babeland recently sent us a packing strap made by Aslan Leather. A packing strap is used to keep the bulge in place by transmen, genderqueers, drag kings, and those who like to play around with gender (including just dressing up for Rocky Horror). Because the last thing you want is for your cock to fall down your pant leg. The strap is specifically made to work with the Mr. Right packer, but also works with a Soft Pack which is a lot cheaper. However, from the reviews I’ve read, I’ve gathered that the soft pack may be more likely to fall out of a packing strap than Mr. Right.

For this review I enlisted the help of my awesomely handsome wife since she has a bit more packing experience than I do. And without further ado, here she is with her input:

I don’t often wear a soft pack. In the past when I wanted that certain bulge, I simply wore my packie inside my underwear. While it stayed put for the most part – though I had to take care to hold on to it when using the restroom – I was constantly on high alert for an embarrassing slippage accident. The arrival of the Aslan Leather harness was a chance to send my worst fears packing (yes, that pun was intended).

This harness was the first I’ve ever used. It took me a few minutes to realize that only the balls of the packie would be held by the harness. The dick was free to swing and sway until the moment I pulled up my drawers. While I liked the freedom of movement, I felt that without the support of the underwear, the packie might eventually fall forward out of the harness. A better design would perhaps include an elastic o-ring that could reign in the penis, as it is the major center of mass for my packie. A harness that simply holds onto the balls makes the whole thing feel rather top-heavy. However, the worry that I could eventually have a flop-out might have been paranoia, as I used the restroom while wearing it and was pleased to see that I no longer had to designate one hand to hold my detachable bits.

The waist strap was comfortable. It was a simple wide elastic band, and I was pleased to find that the size I received fit around my waist with almost no stretching of the elastic – it was snug enough to not move around, but loose enough that I couldn’t feel it once I was dressed. After dressing and spending a few minutes walking and jumping to test the effectiveness of the harness, I felt supremely confident that the packie would stay where I wanted it. I was able to go about my day and eventually forget that I was packing – at least until I caught my own reflection or the eye of my wife.

Overall, I found that wearing the harness was vastly superior to going without one. If you regularly soft pack, I would recommend picking up one of these if you don’t already have one. For those of you like me who pack very infrequently, the low price point makes this purchase easy on the wallet and definitely worth the cost.

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This post, Packing Strap, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 10/20/2009. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Packing Strap. Thanks for visiting!
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Could it possibly get any better? It can! [...]]]>
NoFauxxx.com is letting everyone in for free today! Go check out some amazingly hot free queer porn using login: friend pw: fauxxx. If you love hot queer sex as much as I do, you won’t be disappointed by the 2009 Best of the Bay Best Queer Porn Award winner.

Could it possibly get any better? It can! If you write a comment in the member’s section on the site you’ll be entered to win 2 free months!

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This post, Free Queer Porn Today Only!!!, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 09/09/2009. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Free Queer Porn Today Only!!!. Thanks for visiting!
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