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Late last night I realized that I would’ve had a 10 year old this month. That seems insane. Partially because I can’t believe it’s been that long and partially because I can’t even begin to imagine how different my life would’ve been. One thing stays constant though: I made the right decision. Despite what some may think, I do not regret my decision and never have.
I love seeing how people get to my site. And sometimes they inadvertently find my site by asking a question I never answer here. That makes me sad :( So in the interest of getting people’s questions answered I will respond to questions I see people Googling to get here.
Q: Do blowjobs help sinus infections?
A: It depends what end of the blowjob you’re on. If you’re the one giving the blowjob then I would say that you definitely won’t get any healing benefit from it. In fact you may make it a bit worse if you end up creating a lot of snot while giving oral sex. The more snot, the more it just gets up in those sinuses. It could also hurt more than usual if say the cock you are sucking on ends up poking into your soft palette in the roof of your mouth or if the owner of the cock slaps you in the face with it. Plus there may be difficulty breathing if you are congested.
If you are receiving a blowjob and you have a sinus infection you may get a small boost in immune system function from the orgasm and feeling well cared for. However, I’d really recommend antibiotics, bed rest, and hot showers if you really want to get over your sinus infection quickly.
What does sexual freedom as a human right mean to you?
What legislative or social changes would you like to see to promote sexual freedom?
I could talk about these topics ad nauseam, but instead I will focus on one major point. That is I believe that one of the fundamental human rights to sexual freedom includes quality comprehensive sex education.
We have a right to learn accurate, useful information about our bodies, our sexuality, the sexualities of others, how to protect ourselves, and how to give and receive pleasure. So many people do not even have the basic tools to navigate their own sexuality let alone someone else’s.
I’ve met women who don’t know where their clits are or who think they pee out of their vagina. There are so many women who have not yet achieved orgasm and so many men who feel it is their sole responsibility to give women orgasms with their dicks. And way too many people who think that the only way sex can happen is if a penis enters a vagina or maybe an ass.
I want to see abstinence only education stop being funded. It is a heterosexist, slut-shaming, untruthful “education.” It is time that the US recognized the fact that people are sexual beings and that sexuality can be a very healthy thing if treated as such. Repressing people and teaching them lies does not keep teens or adults from having sex; it makes them unprepared for when they start.
Q: My husband went to Walgreens to pick up some condoms. He said he saw VCF there, which he hasn’t seen in a long time. I went to the website because I’ve actually never heard of this film. Nowhere did it have it’s efficacy against pregnancy. It did however say “no birth control is 100% accurate” lol. We’re married and fine if it happens that I get pregnant..and it seems it might be better since we don’t have to stop to put on a condom. Thoughts?
A: For those who do not know, VCF is Vaginal Contraceptive Film. It is a small, thin, transluscent square that a woman inserts inside of her vagina. After about 15 minutes the sheet melts and coats the cervix with spermicide. It’s kind of like those mint strips you put in your mouth to freshen your breath, but for your vag to keep you from getting pregnant. It is not effective against STIs, and may actually increase your risk, which I will get into later.
The efficacy rates for pregnancy prevention are about 74% for normal use, 94% for perfect use. When paired with condoms the efficacy rate gets up to about 97%. When I say normal use vs. perfect use what I mean is that people screw shit up and don’t always do it right. In general, the more often you use something the better you get at it. So that 74% tends to be for the first year that you use a new method and your efficacy goes up from there. When I say 94% for perfect use that means how effective it is if you use it the correct way every time
You say that it sounds like it might be better because you won’t have to stop to put on a condom. However, you still have to stop to put in the VCF and then wait 15 minutes to make sure it is effective. So unless you plan ahead you will still be stopping and possibly stopping and waiting. And you may not want to plan ahead in this case unless you’re absolutely positive that you’ll be having sex later and this is why …
VCF is made from Nonoxynol-9 which is a spermicide. It is a very effective spermicide as it immobilizes sperm on contact. However, in such a delicate ecosystem as the vagina you might imagine that there could be some issues. If you use Nonoxynol-9 sparingly there shouldn’t be much of an issue if you’re in a monogamous disease-free relationship unless you are prone to infection. However, the more often you use it the more your vagina is exposed to this harsh chemical. And the more it is exposed to it the more likely you are to actually get vaginal lesions. For people who are not in monogamous disease-free relationships, this means an increased likelihood of contracting an STI especially HIV and HPV.
Like I said, it’s relatively safe if you’re not using it often, which is why you shouldn’t use it unless you are 99.9% sure that you’re about to get it on.
But there’s also the issue of oral sex. Say you and your partner have been having a grand old time fucking away and you just feel this need to have his cock in your mouth. Well now his cock is probably covered in spermicide and will taste not so good and will quite possibly numb your mouth a bit. Or maybe he’s been finger fucking you and rubbing your clit and then he just has to taste you … same thing. Genitals don’t taste so good with nonoxynol-9 all over them and they’ll also make your lips go numb and possibly your tongue.
This is precisely why I said 15 minutes of waiting. Sure you can makeout and feel each other up, but finger fucking and oral sex may make things less pleasant.
So VCF is decent at preventing pregnancy, especially when combined with other birth control methods, but it should be used sparingly and you may not want to put your mouths anywhere near anything that’s been put in your vagina. It’s a great options for some, and not so great for others.
Here is a how-to video provided from the makers of a VCF:
Topco has released a new line of sex toys that is meant to appeal to those with more disturbing paraphilias. The line is called the “Fucked Line” and features such toys as a vomiting mouth stroker, bleeding pussy stroker, and a dildo that looks like it has been infected with an STI. The idea is to appeal to fetishists who may not be able to safely act out their fantasies by catering to their often dangerous desires.
I’m extremely intrigued by this and not totally sure how I feel about it. I mean at what point does it help to keep these people safe and at what point does it actually increase the likelihood of them acting these things out in real life? At what point does it become so objectionable that the products are actually illegal to sell? For example, I can’t imagine that it would be legal to sell a child stroker for pedophiles.
Hey Chicagoans (sorry to those of you who aren’t from Chicago)! Early to Bed is having a couple of exciting events coming up next week. You should come out to both if you can make it.
On Tuesday July 13th at 7:30PM I will be giving my last Chicago workshop before I move. The topic is the g-spot and female ejaculation. It promises to be a lot of fun. Please pre-register either online, by phone, or in person. $15/$10 low income. There are lots of spots still open.
On Friday July 16th there will be a benefit for the Chicago Abortion Fund (CAF) 7-pPM. There will be snacks and drinks and 15% of all purchases will be donated to CAF