Masturbation | Ask Garnet

Topco Fucked Line

Topco has released a new line of sex toys that is meant to appeal to those with more disturbing paraphilias. The line is called the “Fucked Line” and features such toys as a vomiting mouth stroker, bleeding pussy stroker, and a dildo that looks like it has been infected with an STI. The idea is to appeal to fetishists who may not be able to safely act out their fantasies by catering to their often dangerous desires.

I’m extremely intrigued by this and not totally sure how I feel about it. I mean at what point does it help to keep these people safe and at what point does it actually increase the likelihood of them acting these things out in real life? At what point does it become so objectionable that the products are actually illegal to sell? For example, I can’t imagine that it would be legal to sell a child stroker for pedophiles.

What do you think? Please discuss.

(via Early to Bed)

iSpankMyself Review

iSpankMyself was launched last Friday and I was cool enough to get a sneak peek. The site is a Mad Blanket Pictures production and definitely fits well with what they’re currently offering. The pictures and video are beautifully shot and Lily Francfort is quite obviously expressing her own sexuality in a way that is comfortable for her and feels good. And I love all that about Mad Blanket and Camille Crimson.

But see, here’s the thing. While all that is awesome, I get bored kind of easily. The first video I watched on iSpankMyself was friggin hot and I got all tingly in my undies. But then I watched another video and it was still pretty hot and I was still a little tingly. But it got repetitive. Its the same woman spanking herself and masturbating (or sometimes not masturbating) over and over again. Sure she has different implements and different story lines, but it’s pretty much the same stuff over and over. I just don’t have that kind of attention span. Plus, while I find Lily cute she’s just not my type. Maybe if she was I would be more into it?

What this means is that if you love watching women spanking and masturbating you will love this website. If you think Lily is the bees knees you will love this website. If not, you’ll probably get bored pretty quickly. What I recommend instead is checking out their ala carte website, The Beautiful Porn, where you can buy individual videos and photosets. That way you can get a taste of spanking, blowjobs, and feet without being over saturated with just one thing.

Tenga Double-Cup with Hole Warmer:

Here is a new review from my male reviewer, Blued. Stay tuned for my notes at the end:

This title defining quote from a very famous 90′s comedy is the first thought I had when I slipped myself inside the Tenga Double-Hole Cup. The second thought was “This is the hole people refer to when they talk about a guy who would fuck anything with a hole in it.” This merits a word of caution: open this in a bathroom over your sink. A lube like substance fills this thing. I made the mistake of opening it while on my bed and was promptly introduced to a deluge of the slick stuff covering my lap and my bedding. Laundry day came early. I gave it an inspection (penis beware, sometimes toys get packaged with hard plastic parts or other hidden treasures), cleaned it out a bit and, dinner and a movie later, was ready for action.

I was very excited to use the Tenga. It’s a very smart, stylish package, being a light weight tube about the size of a fat beer can with a red and silver label that screams “modern” with English and Japanese scrawled all around it, telling you which way to go. I beheld the bright fuck toy of the future with reverence.

The Tenga sleeve comes with two holes, sweet and bitter. The sweet side is a tight fit compared to the “average” sized bitter and, for me, felt more like an anus than a vagina. Along with the sleeve I received a handy little innovation: the hole warmer! This is a sealed slender tube filled with a gel, with a slightly bent piece of metal floating around. It was with nerd glee that I clicked the metal piece, which starts the reaction causing the gel inside to grow opaque, harden, and heat up. You ever see those movies with special effects showing something freezing almost instantly? It was like that, except it got warm. Rad. I slipped the warmer inside the sleeve and gave it several minutes to do its work, pulled it out, and got busy.

After about five minutes of play time, I realized the Tenga was producing more and more lubrication on its own. Soon, I was saturated with the stuff again. I pulled out, and along with my penis came a string of foam bits dripping with lube. I had totally missed these in my inspection! I consulted the instructions on use and care, but those only refer to the warmer and sleeve cleanup. Cleanup only says to wash out the lube with tepid water and/or soap or a neutral detergent. Nothing about slug like foam bits! Not sure how to proceed, and making a mighty mess with each mighty thrust, I opted to find and remove all the lube soaked foam inside the tenga. I suspect the foam was meant to stay in, but not having a product description for the sleeve beyond some idle references to cleaning and storage, I couldn’t really say.

I finished up, drenched, and decided this wasn’t a satisfactory first lay. Some of you may really love the mess; however, it’s not for me. But, I never discount things completely until I’ve tried them several times and the Tenga deserved further sexploration. Fortunately, my perseverance was rewarded. With the lube producing foam out of the way, I was now in control of how slick my Tenga was going to be. This allowed me to better appreciate the details of its internal construction, which feels pretty damn good.

The hole warmer requires some time consuming maintenance to restore it to its original gel form. You have to wrap it up in a cloth and set it into boiling water until it becomes transparent again, then remove it and set it aside for about half an hour for it to return completely to normal. As neat as it is, handle it with care and for not very long. It’s capable of getting as hot as 120 degrees Fahrenheit (50 degrees Celsius) when active. Also, don’t bend it, don’t set it on fire, and please don’t try to make a cup of tea with it. All in all, it’s very easy to use and very effective at what it does.

I’ve used the toy about 14 or 15 times now, which is about half its expected lifespan. The instructions say this product is good for about 30 uses under normal conditions. But the instructions are a bit vague when it comes to whether they are referring to the entire package or just the hole warmer. The sleeve itself hasn’t changed feel or durability after the use I’ve already given it, and I suspect with proper care and thorough cleanings (lots of hidden chambers, the foam surprised me, after all) this toy could last quite a while. I plan to test this theory out as the Tenga has become my favorite toy for its lightweight construction and quality sensation.Thanks Babeland and Garnet for letting me get busy using hot, hot science.

Notes: The Tenga Double Hole Cup is made of TPE which I’m not fully sure I understand completely. However, it can be washed with soap and warm water and you can use water or silicone based lubes with it. With most pre-lubed (not including condoms) products I recommend you wash them out first and add your favorite lube. They are often overly lubed and not with the kind of lube you want to use.

The hole warmer is sold separately from the sleeve and can be used with any masturbation sleeve. It is good for approximately 30 uses.

Rock-Chick

The Rock-Chick is a silicone dual stimulation vibe, but not like the kind you’re used to. It’s not a rabbit-style vibe like most dual-stim vibes. Instead it is a U-shaped vibrator that hugs the g-spot and clitoris. Or at least that is what it is supposed to do. See the problem with a lot of toys that promise to hug or fit your body don’t work for everyone because everyone’s body is different. And apparently the Rock-Chick wants my clit to be about 2 inches above where it is. You can see my problem.

But in all honesty, even if it did fit my body just right I don’t think I’d like it all that much. Sure, it’s a good quality toy with an interesting design and I like the idea of rocking back and forth on this thing to work my way towards orgasm, but in actuality because it doesn’t fit right and because the bullet vibe doesn’t do it for me, I actually kind of hated this toy. The innovative shape made me think I would like a toy that if I had actually sat down and thought about, I would’ve realized that I wouldn’t like at all.

I need a strong vibrator! Hello! I use a freakin Hitachi Magic Wand for gosh sakes! I’m not sure why I thought a bullet vibe powered by an N battery would somehow do anything for me when I’m used to a plug-in. And what is with the N batteries lately? Is this the new hard to find sex toy battery?

So obviously when I’m getting g-spot stimulation I prefer to have my clit uncovered so that I can get a hitachi on it. The design of the Rock-Chick is such that it covers the clit and therefore I cannot get my hitachi on me. Oh but I did try. And I have to thank the Rock-Chick for teaching me something about my vagina. Just when you thought you already knew all the tricks of your vagina it takes a toy that you don’t particularly like to teach you something.

The vibrator that comes with this thing is actually kind of rumbly for a cordless bullet vibe, but by the time the vibrations get to your g-spot (the vibe rests in the part nearest your clit – which is possibly actually several inches away from it) it’s more like a high pitched buzzy vibration. I always thought I hated vibrators in my vagina, but had been coming around as I tried different ones and seemed to not hate them as much. I HATED the high pitch buzzyness. HATED IT! But when I took the bullet out and tried to access my clit with the hitachi, the deep rumbly vibrations of my plug-in carried through the Rock-Chick and I loved it. So now I know that it’s the buzzy I hate, not the vibrations in general. So now I am on a quest to find hitachi attachments that actually interest me and deep rumbly g-spot vibrators. I have my eye on this and this. So yay! At least the Rock-Chick taught me something, right?

Anyways, just because I didn’t like it doesn’t mean that you won’t. If you prefer buzzy vibrators and have a body that this toy would fit you’d probably love this thing. I’m just not sure how you would know if it would fit your body ahead of time. But the good news is that it is silicone so it is non-porous and fully sterilizable so if you hate it you can clean it and pass it on to someone else to try. That is probably what I will do.

Also, this toy says that it is “partner friendly” but I’m not really sure how that is possible. This is really more of a solo toy unless your partner wants to watch. Not sure how they would join in.

Thanks Babeland for letting me try the Rock-Chick and teaching me something new about my vagina!

Male Masturbators

Hi !
I never had a girlfriend and have sex. And it is really hard for me. Could you, plz, advice me how I can put the condom in that it will last good in the intercourse? Also, I would like to know can the vagina be so tight or so dry the condom can fell out from the penis ? I am 24 yrs old and never had sex with anyone. It is hard. I masturbate every day and I would like to find a good looking lady like you. When I had an opportunity for sex, should I do it ? Can you give a advice for a good artificial vagina for masturbation ?

Welcome back to the epic question that I will answer in 3 parts. Part 1 about putting on a condom can be found here. Part 2 about taking the opportunity for sex can be found here.

Now on to part 3 which will answer the question “Can you give advice for a good artificial vagina for masturbation?”

Men have often complained to me that sex toys seem to be behind the times for them. There just aren’t that many options for men. At least not like the options that women have. We have things that vibrate, rotate, lick, suck, light up, and even talk to us. But until more recently men’s sex toys seemed to be stuck in a rut where everything just tried to replicate the pussy, ass, or torso of a porn star. That’s all fine and good if that is what you’re looking for. But there are many men out there who are looking for something a little different. Something more advanced and maybe a little less realistic looking. I know I personally prefer to not have sex with a disembodied torso.

But the good news is that sex toy companies finally seem to be listening. There are more and more sex toys coming out for men that are pretty cool looking and make me wish that I had a penis. Your options are expanding!

If you do really want something that looks a bit more realistic you can still have that too though. I’ve heard fantastic things about the fleshlight (they even have ones that you can see through and others that vibrate) and my male reviewer loved their Succu Dry which is great if you have a vampire fantasy.

Tenga is coming out with some amazingly innovative male masturbators. Leave it up to the Japanese to make fantastic sex toys. The Tenga Flip Hole has to be one of the coolest sex toys on the market and makes me really want to stick something in it! Check out the promotional video for it here. Tenga also has other products like the Double Hole Sleeve, which will be reviewed here soon in conjunction with the Sleeve Warmer which seems like a really simple idea that should’ve been made forever ago. Who wants to fuck a cold sleeve? Then there’s the Tenga Lip Service which seems much more comfortable to hold than a lot of the other sleeves on the market. Although it does disappoint me that it is disposable. However, if you wear a condom with it you can reuse it. That way cleanup is a snap and you get used to wearing a condom during sex. There’s also the relatively inexpensive Tenga Eggs which come in a variety of different textures. The nice thing about these is that they are a lot smaller and therefore more discreet. They’re made out of a super stretchy elastomer that can easily fit over your cock and slide up and down it with lube. Babeland even has a kit that includes a Tenga Egg called Orgasm in a Box|His.

Or maybe you’d be interested in a completely hygenic sleeve? There are a couple out there that are made from silicone and therefore are easy to take care of and don’t harbor bacteria. There’s The Grip made out of soft supple VixSkin silicone. Or you can try the Tantus Stroker.

Other sleeves to check out:

Blossom Sleeve – shaped like a flower and made of TPR
Maverick - Lots of fun ridges and made of elastomer. Maybe you can pretend like you’re fucking Sarah Palin? Or John McCain?
Cobalt - this one is much shorter and open on both sides which can be fun for blowjobs. Made of elastomer.
Maven – this toy is also elastomer, but has a softer squishier feel than other elastomer sleeves on the market.

Is that too many options? Honestly, if I had a cock I’d probably go for the Tenga Flip Hole if I had the cash and if I didn’t I’d want to try the Tenga Eggs. And remember to use lube. If you really like the idea of having your cock vibrate while you masturbate get a vibrating cock ring and face the vibrator towards your balls.

I’m Naked Again

Look at that. I’m naked again over at EroticBPM. Another one of my old sets has resurfaced. Its a hot one, but I have to admit that I’m totally embarrassed by my choice of harness and dildo. I knew nothing back then! Luckily I never actually used it to fuck anyone, but it was pretty hot to masturbate with it on.