I’m extremely intrigued by this and not totally sure how I feel about it. I mean at what point does it help to keep these people safe and at what point does it actually increase the likelihood of them acting these things out in real life? At what point does it become so objectionable that the products are actually illegal to sell? For example, I can’t imagine that it would be legal to sell a child stroker for pedophiles.

What do you think? Please discuss.

(via Early to Bed)

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This post, Topco Fucked Line, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 07/20/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Topco Fucked Line. Thanks for visiting!
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But see, here’s the thing. While all that is awesome, I get bored kind of easily. The first video I watched on iSpankMyself was friggin hot and I got all tingly in my undies. But then I watched another video and it was still pretty hot and I was still a little tingly. But it got repetitive. Its the same woman spanking herself and masturbating (or sometimes not masturbating) over and over again. Sure she has different implements and different story lines, but it’s pretty much the same stuff over and over. I just don’t have that kind of attention span. Plus, while I find Lily cute she’s just not my type. Maybe if she was I would be more into it?

What this means is that if you love watching women spanking and masturbating you will love this website. If you think Lily is the bees knees you will love this website. If not, you’ll probably get bored pretty quickly. What I recommend instead is checking out their ala carte website, The Beautiful Porn,  where you can buy individual videos and photosets. That way you can get a taste of spanking, blowjobs, and feet without being over saturated with just one thing.

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This post, iSpankMyself Review, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 07/15/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: iSpankMyself Review. Thanks for visiting!
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But in all honesty, even if it did fit my body just right I don’t think I’d like it all that much. Sure, it’s a good quality toy with an interesting design and I like the idea of rocking back and forth on this thing to work my way towards orgasm, but in actuality because it doesn’t fit right and because the bullet vibe doesn’t do it for me, I actually kind of hated this toy.  The innovative shape made me think I would like a toy that if I had actually sat down and thought about, I would’ve realized that I wouldn’t like at all.

I need a strong vibrator! Hello! I use a freakin Hitachi Magic Wand for gosh sakes! I’m not sure why I thought a bullet vibe powered by an N battery would somehow do anything for me when I’m used to a plug-in. And what is with the N batteries lately? Is this the new hard to find sex toy battery?

So obviously when I’m getting g-spot stimulation I prefer to have my clit uncovered so that I can get a hitachi on it. The design of the Rock-Chick is such that it covers the clit and therefore I cannot get my hitachi on me. Oh but I did try. And I have to thank the Rock-Chick for teaching me something about my vagina. Just when you thought you already knew all the tricks of your vagina it takes a toy that you don’t particularly like to teach you something.

The vibrator that comes with this thing is actually kind of rumbly for a cordless bullet vibe, but by the time the vibrations get to your g-spot (the vibe rests in the part nearest your clit – which is possibly actually several inches away from it) it’s more like a high pitched buzzy vibration. I always thought I hated vibrators in my vagina, but had been coming around as I tried different ones and seemed to not hate them as much. I HATED the high pitch buzzyness. HATED IT! But when I took the bullet out and tried to access my clit with the hitachi, the deep rumbly vibrations of my plug-in carried through the Rock-Chick and I loved it. So now I know that it’s the buzzy I hate, not the vibrations in general. So now I am on a quest to find hitachi attachments that actually interest me and deep rumbly g-spot vibrators. I have my eye on this and this. So yay! At least the Rock-Chick taught me something, right?

Anyways, just because I didn’t like it doesn’t mean that you won’t. If you prefer buzzy vibrators and have a body that this toy would fit you’d probably love this thing. I’m just not sure how you would know if it would fit your body ahead of time. But the good news is that it is silicone so it is non-porous and fully sterilizable so if you hate it you can clean it and pass it on to someone else to try. That is probably what I will do.

Also, this toy says that it is “partner friendly” but I’m not really sure how that is possible. This is really more of a solo toy unless your partner wants to watch. Not sure how they would join in.

Thanks Babeland for letting me try the Rock-Chick and teaching me something new about my vagina!

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This post, Rock-Chick, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 05/03/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Rock-Chick. Thanks for visiting!
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Hi !
I never had a girlfriend and have sex. And it is really hard for me. Could you, plz, advice me how I can put the condom in that it will last good in the intercourse? Also, I would like to know can the vagina be so tight or so dry the condom can fell out from the penis ? I am 24 yrs old and never had sex with anyone. It is hard. I masturbate every day and I would like to find a good looking lady like you. When I had an opportunity for sex, should I do it ? Can you give a advice for a good artificial vagina for masturbation ?

Welcome back to the epic question that I will answer in 3 parts. Part 1 about putting on a condom can be found here. Part 2 about taking the opportunity for sex can be found here.

Now on to part 3 which will answer the question “Can you give advice for a good artificial vagina for masturbation?”

Men have often complained to me that sex toys seem to be behind the times for them. There just aren’t that many options for men. At least not like the options that women have. We have things that vibrate, rotate, lick, suck, light up, and even talk to us. But until more recently men’s sex toys seemed to be stuck in a rut where everything just tried to replicate the pussy, ass, or torso of a porn star. That’s all fine and good if that is what you’re looking for. But there are many men out there who are looking for something a little different. Something more advanced and maybe a little less realistic looking. I know I personally prefer to not have sex with a disembodied torso.

But the good news is that sex toy companies finally seem to be listening. There are more and more sex toys coming out for men that are pretty cool looking and make me wish that I had a penis. Your options are expanding!

If you do really want something that looks a bit more realistic you can still have that too though. I’ve heard fantastic things about the fleshlight (they even have ones that you can see through and others that vibrate) and my male reviewer loved their Succu Dry which is great if you have a vampire fantasy.

Tenga is coming out with some amazingly innovative male masturbators. Leave it up to the Japanese to make fantastic sex toys. The Tenga Flip Hole has to be one of the coolest sex toys on the market and makes me really want to stick something in it! Check out the promotional video for it here. Tenga also has other products like the Double Hole Sleeve, which will be reviewed here soon in conjunction with the Sleeve Warmer which seems like a really simple idea that should’ve been made forever ago. Who wants to fuck a cold sleeve? Then there’s the Tenga Lip Service which seems much more comfortable to hold than a lot of the other sleeves on the market. Although it does disappoint me that it is disposable. However, if you wear a condom with it you can reuse it. That way cleanup is a snap and you get used to wearing a condom during sex. There’s also the relatively inexpensive Tenga Eggs which come in a variety of different textures. The nice thing about these is that they are a lot smaller and therefore more discreet. They’re made out of a super stretchy elastomer that can easily fit over your cock and slide up and down it with lube. Babeland even has a kit that includes a Tenga Egg called Orgasm in a Box|His.

Or maybe you’d be interested in a completely hygenic sleeve? There are a couple out there that are made from silicone and therefore are easy to take care of and don’t harbor bacteria. There’s The Grip made out of soft supple VixSkin silicone. Or you can try the Tantus Stroker.

Other sleeves to check out:

• Blossom Sleeve – shaped like a flower and made of TPR
• Maverick - Lots of fun ridges and made of elastomer. Maybe you can pretend like you’re fucking Sarah Palin? Or John McCain?
• Cobalt - this one is much shorter and open on both sides which can be fun for blowjobs. Made of elastomer.
• Maven – this toy is also elastomer, but has a softer squishier feel than other elastomer sleeves on the market.

Is that too many options? Honestly, if I had a cock I’d probably go for the Tenga Flip Hole if I had the cash and if I didn’t I’d want to try the Tenga Eggs. And remember to use lube. If you really like the idea of having your cock vibrate while you masturbate get a vibrating cock ring and face the vibrator towards your balls.

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This post, Male Masturbators, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 04/18/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Male Masturbators. Thanks for visiting!
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Click on the picture to see the rest of the set. Sorry, its not free, but my friend Killshot has to eat.

And if anyone wants some real harness recommendations let me know. But whatever you do, do NOT get a harness like mine.

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This post, I’m Naked Again, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 02/22/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: I’m Naked Again. Thanks for visiting!
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She introduced me to the fleshlight; this particular derivation was the Succu Dry. Following on the heels of vampire success, vampirotica gave a superficial nod to men with this little gem. It’s a long fleshy nubbin of a thing with a vampire mouth parted welcomingly on one end. So, I agreed to give this thing a test drive for the benefit of you, the reader, but also mostly because I wanted my own man toy.

There was a certain shyness involved when I first touched it. Despite the cool temperatures, it felt real. The firmness and elasticity of the cyberskin was identical to my own flesh (although I wasn’t as sticky… yet). Plunging my finger deep inside, I could feel the knobbed inner texture. I thought it was pretty neat. I stared myself in the face with the fanged mouth, and squished the lips together in a miserable attempt at ventriloquism.

I put it aside and read the usage and maintenance portion of the pamphlet thoroughly so I’d know how to care for it. The basic gist is clean it with warm water and possibly a touch of isopropyl alcohol. NEVER use soap because this will deteriorate the skin. Dry it off as completely as possible, especially the inside. Cleaning was the first thing I did, and it also gave me a chance to test it’s physical integrity. I was able to open up both ends pretty wide and almost turn it inside out. This helped ensure that it was cleaned off and there were no surprises. I hand patted it with a towel inside and out and inspected it for any excess moisture. I can’t speak from experience, but any overly moist residue just sounds bad! They even state in manual that it could mold. Yeah, no fungus fucking for me. Thanks. I gave it a couple more reasonable stretches then fitted it to its case, certain that I could give it my hardest and it wouldn’t be any worse for the wear.

For use, they recommend you soak it in some warm water for a bit. I recommend soaking your lube, too, which should be water-based, by the way. Unless you really want to bone the undead, in which case, you should do neither. I had a little shock since I didn’t also include the warming of the lube. Apparently, my penis is afraid of the cold and it took a couple minutes to get things going again. Heating it up and having it retain heat while you also manage to get and maintain an erection was an interesting dance. It would be really nice if they included some kind of heating method or improved the insulation of the case so it didn’t cool off as quickly. Even in use, it only slightly maintained a temperature the good side of comfortable from the heat it leeched off my body, though this likely had a lot to do with the room temperature being in the mid 70′s.

Properly lubed, the glide of it was fantastic for the first several minutes. If you unscrew the back cap a bit, it decreases the suction and greatly improves the glide and feels like the lube carries for longer. As far as sensation, it felt strange at first, but as things progressed, it began to feel like a real blowjob. I found that if I held it in place with both hands and used my hips to fuck it (along with a looser back cap), it felt like a pussy. I spent half an hour with it the first time, the end of which I had one of the most productive ejaculations ever. The accompanying orgasm wasn’t intense, but lasting and deep.

What I really liked about it:

• The feel of the cyberskin is amazing. Incredible realness. At least enough to fool my penis.
• The mouth was shaped well enough I could indulge and enhance certain fantasies during playtime.
• They were kind enough to send lube! A sample size is packaged and depending on your needs, it can last for 2 or 3 sessions.
• Discrete in size and shape. The obvious wrapping blows this out of the water, unfortunately, though it does look kind of like an energy drink. MENERGY!

What I didn’t like so much about it:

• It’s a bit weighty. One-handing it takes some getting used to.
• When you unscrew the back cap, the wheezing noise it makes while in use is distracting.
• Poor heat retention. Although I suppose the point was to fuck the undead?

I’ve used it four more times since, and have found it to be a boon companion during those lonely sexy times. If you’re considering purchasing this, it’s definitely worth the price tag for the ease of use and care, the durability, the realism, and the diversity of situations you can find yourself in when somebody accidentally opens the door on you using it.

Thanks to Blued for reviewing this toy for me and thanks to Babeland for providing it.

*Edit* I just wanted to add that you have to dust cyberskin with corn starch in order to make it soft and supple again instead of icky sticky. So after every wash you should dust it.

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This post, Succu Dry: Once Bitten …, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 02/16/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Succu Dry: Once Bitten …. Thanks for visiting!
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And maybe it was because I had such extremely low expectations for this toy that I actually ended up loving it. Its not perfect and it doesn’t really feel like oral sex, but I really, really like it! It has not been able to get me to orgasm and I doubt that it will ever will. My clit needs a jackhammer. But it is a great warmup. The sensations that it creates actually arouse me in ways that a vibrator just can’t do. It feels like a more natural warm up than just sticking a Hitachi between my legs and going from 0 to 60 in 10 minutes or less. It makes me coo!

So this is how it all went down: I received the Sqweel in the mail, opened the package, and made fun of it. I then actually started feeling the pink silicone tongues and getting a little excited. For some reason I had expected the tongues to be more hard and rigid instead of the soft supple silicone that they were. The toy was a bit smaller than I had expected as well. It fit in the palm of my hand easily, which is saying a lot since I have the hands of a 5 year old. I probably would have tried it right then and there except that it took AAA batteries and I only had AA’s in the house. It would have to wait.

A couple days went by and each time I’d pass the Sqweel waiting for me in the kitchen (what? You don’t keep your new toys on the kitchen table?) I’d look at it longingly. I was surprised by how much I wanted to try it, but still figured it probably wouldn’t feel all that great.

I finally picked up a pack of batteries at the store and went to work cleaning the Sqweel. The makers of this toy really thought this through! It is extremely easy to open the plastic clamshell and pop the pieces out for easy cleaning. It will never be exceedingly easy to clean so many silicone tongues, but they made it so it wasn’t extremely difficult. I imagine lesser companies would’ve made it so you couldn’t open the container, but had to turn the wheel to clean each tongue one by one. And forget about any gunk that might form on the inside. Thankfully this is not the case with the Sqweel.

I then took it to the bedroom with the little sample packet of Sliquid Organics lube that was provided in the box and proceeded to get under the covers with my wife who was extremely interested in how this test was going to turn out. I turned the toy on to the low setting and slowly squeezed lube out onto the tongues so they would all get covered. I then put a little lube on myself. If you don’t like being lubey then this toy is really not for you because you really need to get it nice and slick for it to feel good.

I spread my outer labia a bit so that I could get the toy right up on my clit and went to town. I tried the 3 different speeds and I tried different angling of the toy. The first speed really doesn’t do much for me as its too slow and stops too easily when pressed up against. I definitely enjoyed the medium and highest speed although if you press it into yourself these speeds will also stop. But remember ladies this is not a vibrator! Pressing it hard into yourself is just going to stop the motion, not make the sensation go deeper. I found my favorites were to have the toy at a slight angle so that the tongues went in a diagonal line across my clit or to have the top of the clamshell resting on my mons (the fleshy mound above my vulva). If you get one of these babies I definitely suggest you play around and find what works best for you. The only complaint I had about it at this point was that the lube and toy were cold and they’re not going to warm up when just lapping at my clit. In the winter this totally sucks. I wish there was a way to easily and safely warm up the lube and keep it warm throughout the experience.

The whole time I was playing with it I was cooing and talking about how surprised I was that I liked this toy this much. My wife just had to try it herself. So she gave it a go. As you may have seen me tweet, she said “It feels like its punching my clit, but in a good way.” She enjoyed the sensation quite a bit as well, but said she would’ve liked it to have more power. In the end it just left her wanting more. Really, it was the same for me as well, but that wasn’t a negative point for me like it was for her. The Hitachi was then broken out for finishing the job that the Sqweel had started.

Trial #2 had me sitting in my office chair while I watched Frisk Me on my computer (OMG the hotness that is Satine Phoenix and Syd Blakovich). The Sqweel really didn’t work out at all for this type of masturbation. I thought it would be great to have that slow build while I watched porn, after all I’m in it for the long haul, not the quickie. But it turns out that it is extremely difficult to use the Sqweel while sitting upright. The issue is that it is too difficult to spread my labia so that the toy can get to my clit. Even while reclining slightly I found it very difficult. The only way that it worked was with one foot up on my desk, which was difficult. I’m sure it would be easier in the summer when I can just hang out pantsless with my feet spread on either side of my desk, but in the winter it is no small feat to keep my Slanket on and do this at the same time. Yes, I have a Slanket, shut up. Its wicked better than the Snuggie, but I don’t think either really lend themselves to masturbation.

So trial #2 was a fail, but I am not giving up on this toy because, as I already said, I really, really like it.  I have a feeling that this toy is actually going to be one I use often and not just try out for a review and then toss into my big pile of unused sex toys in my bottom dresser drawer.

Some things to keep in mind with this toy:

• It takes up a lot of room on your vulva so trying to get a dildo in your vagina while having this thing lapping at your clit is going to be difficult, although not completely impossible.
• The tongues are silicone, but the rest of the toy is plastic which means that you cannot share this with anyone unless you are fluid bonded.
• To clean this toy you can take it a part and clean the tongues with a bleach solution, anti-bacterial toy cleaner, or soap and water. The clamshell is not waterproof and therefore should be wiped down with a soapy washcloth or toy wipes.
• The motor makes a bit of a whirring sound, but you can barely hear it if it is under blankets.
• The tongues are silicone and therefore will attract dust and cat fur like crazy. Luckily the toy comes with a lid so you don’t have to clean it again when you get back from the bathroom.
• Experiment with different positions and body parts. This toy will feel really different going in different directions.
• If vibrators often leave your clit numb, this may be a good option for you.
• If you need a jackhammer to get off, this toy is not going to make you orgasm, but it may feel very pleasant.

If you’re interested in buying a Sqweel you can get it here.

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This post, The Sqweel, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 02/13/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: The Sqweel. Thanks for visiting!
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