There are several new studies out that scare the hell out of me. Sex education should be a basic right for everyone. It is a necessity. How can you possibly keep yourself sane and healthy if you are having sex, but don’t know anything about it other than it feels good? And hell, if you’re a woman, maybe you don’t even have that much going on.

The Sexist points to a recent study (giant pdf) done by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy which surveyed single Americans aged 18-29 asking them about their perceptions of contraception. It turns out that women don’t know too much and men know even less.

Twenty-eight percent of young men think that wearing two condoms at a time is more effective than just one. Twenty-five percent think that women can prevent pregnancy by douching after sex. Eighteen percent believe that they can reduce the chance of pregnancy by doing it standing up.
For the most part, men lagged behind women on the pregnancy prevention front. And when the study dipped into the realm of “female” forms of birth control, the gender divide intensified. In the study, 29 percent of men and 32 percent of women reported that they know “little or nothing about condoms.” When asked to rate their knowledge of birth control pills, 78 percent of men reported to be clueless, compared to 45 percent of women.

To really drive the level of stupidity home, the article shares anecdotes from women with clueless boyfriends not understanding how the NuvaRing works (“how is it going to catch my semen?”) or even how women’s bodies work (can you shower on your period while not wearing a tampon?). They point to the lack of sex education and knowledge of women’s bodies as the problem here and I have to agree strongly.

The next study done by the Kinsey Institute shows that Americans can’t even agree on what sex is. The study was a survey of 486 mostly heterosexual 18-96 year olds. They asked a series of questions involving different sexual acts and then asked them if it was sex. “Would you say you ‘had sex’ with someone if the most intimate behavior you engaged in was [blank]?”

“two out of ten people did not concur that penile-anal intercourse was sex, and three out of ten said ‘no’ to oral-genital activity, as did half of the respondents about manual-genital contact.” And, while 95 percent classified penile-vaginal penetration as sex (one has to wonder what does count for the remaining 5 percent), that number dropped to 89 percent in cases where the man doesn’t ejaculate.

You have to wonder if this is part of why people are so clueless about safer sex and birth control. If we can’t even decide on what sex is then how can we adequately protect ourselves? And hell that’s why Gold Star Lesbians are still considered virgins by so many mainstream folks. I mean, how can queer sex even exist at all within these kinds of definitions? Its no wonder so many people so offensively ask how two women can have sex.

It reminds me of when I lost my virginity. I had a pretty traditional view of losing one’s virginity at the age of 17 and yet my boyfriend at the time still considered himself to be a virgin even after we had, what I considered to be, sex. His penis went in my vagina and he broke my hymen. It hurt. There was no real thrusting or orgasms that night. But I thought I’d lost my virginity. According to him though, neither of us had.

Can we please stop with the abstinence only education already? It does NOT work! We all have a right to know how to take care of our bodies and learning about sex is a huge part of that.