Day 3: Inspire Me

Yesterday was Day 3 of the 31 Day No Hitachi Challenge and the most successful day yet. I try to masturbate before the wife gets home from work because sometimes it’s easier to lose myself in the moment without another person around. But yesterday I was so tired when I got home from work (3 hours of commuting will do that to you) I just didn’t have the energy right when I got home, which is the only time I had. So I waited until bedtime, but that meant I’d have to pull out the big guns.

The Toy

I had been considering doing this challenge for a year at least, but didn’t have the guts until I tried the Pink Inspire. The orgasms were weaker than with the Hitachi, but they were possible. I needed a safety net. I mean did you really think I was willing to masturbate for 31 days straight with no promise of orgasm? That just sounds like a killing spree waiting to happen.

I had planned on using this toy later but, this seemed like the necessary time to break out the Inspire.

The Fodder

With my wife laying next to me in bed this was trickier than usual. If I fantasize about her then it gets frustrating because SHE’S RIGHT THERE and WHY CAN’T SHE BE TOUCHING ME NOW!?!? Well, because she was tired and her back hurt. So I tried to imagine other fantasies involving me and someone else (real, imagined, or faceless). This did not work because I still felt like if I was involved in the fantasy it would be so much better if I was actually doing it. Masturbating next to someone who is not paying much attention has always left me feeling frustrated which is one of the reasons I like the Hitachi – I don’t have to fantasize; it just gets the job done.

So I let my mind wander, trying to pick out other things that turn me on. And then there it was. I can’t believe I’d never spent any real time here before, but it was glorious. Captain Jack Harkness and Spike. Not older James Marsters (Captain John) who actually does makeout with Captain Jack (which is hot too), but actual William the Bloody. Captain Jack and Spike kissing passionately, rubbing their bodies against each other, sucking each other’s cock. Oh god it was amazing and just what I needed. Is there fanfic of this somewhere? There really should be.

Thoughts

All in all it took me about 10 minutes and I had 3 orgasms. They were much stronger than I remembered having with the Inspire previously. I’m sure that 2 days of masturbating with no result made that possible. I wanted to keep going. I usually prefer to have around 5 orgasms, but the Inspire started to get really hot and it was too cold in the bedroom to remove the blankets.

What I really like about the Inspire is the power, of course, but also the two pronged attachment. It delivers vibrations in a way that I’ve never experienced with the giant head on the Hitachi. Of course now all I can think though is that I need a similar attachment for my Hitachi. I need to break the addiction!

Oral Sex on the Radio Tomorrow

I will be on the radio tomorrow at 6PM EST/3PM PST with Shanna Katz talking about oral sex. If you’re in Arizona tune into KFNX1100 AM. If you’re not, then you should be able to listen here. Also, feel free to call in with your questions. I don’t know the number, but I’m sure we’ll say it.

If You Google it, I Will Answer #9

I love seeing how people get to my site. And sometimes they inadvertently find my site by asking a question I never answer here. That makes me sad :( So in the interest of getting people’s questions answered I will respond to questions I see people Googling to get here.

Q: Do blowjobs help sinus infections?

A: It depends what end of the blowjob you’re on. If you’re the one giving the blowjob then I would say that you definitely won’t get any healing benefit from it. In fact you may make it a bit worse if you end up creating a lot of snot while giving oral sex. The more snot, the more it just gets up in those sinuses. It could also hurt more than usual if say the cock you are sucking on ends up poking into your soft palette in the roof of your mouth or if the owner of the cock slaps you in the face with it. Plus there may be difficulty breathing if you are congested.

If you are receiving a blowjob and you have a sinus infection you may get a small boost in immune system function from the orgasm and feeling well cared for. However, I’d really recommend antibiotics, bed rest, and hot showers if you really want to get over your sinus infection quickly.

Fluid: Men Redefining Sexuality

Fluid: Men Redefining Sexuality was the movie selected for our first ever twitter pornoparty. It was a ton of fun getting to experience this feminist porn award winning movie with others while we all tried to make each other laugh and think about what was going on.

The format is similar to Fluid: Women Redefining Sexuality in that the film features men sitting around talking about their sexuality and what it means to them followed by some hot hot action of them having sex with both men and women.

Truthfully, I enjoyed Fluid: Women more than Fluid Men. I felt like more of the women were politically minded and open minded than the men. I feel like even though the men enjoyed having sexual experience with other men that they had this barrier against wanting to have relationships with them. This of course wasn’t the case for all of them, but for more than half. I felt like the way they talked about sex and their own sexuality just showed how rampant homophobia is in our society that even these men who enjoy sex with other men had these barriers that still could use some breaking down. Granted this is totally my opinion and you may feel otherwise. But for me, only the last two men featured fully embraced their sexuality. But that could also be a reflection of my own sexuality and looking for that in other people. What did other people think who have either viewed it with us at the twitter party or who have seen it on their own?

Ok so here’s how it breaks down…

Scene 1: Jack Hammer

Jack is a handsome muscular black man who prefers muscular, non-hairy men who take great care of themselves. He’s kind of picky with men, but not so much with women. He loves lots of different kinds of women. He is ex-military and likes to attend bisexual play parties. Overall he tends to prefer people who identify as bisexual or pansexual.

So after the interview (and interspersed throughout as well) we get to see Jack and Constance get it on. This woman is sooo cute and sexy. She’s got a little bit of a tummy, dark brown hair, and bruises on her tummy from what appears to be play piercing.

The sex starts out pretty rough, but gets a bit softer and more sensual as the scene moves on. One thing I noticed about this flick compared to the other one is that it feels like the clothes come off almost instantly. I don’t know if this is a trick of editing or if the guys are just a lot less patient when it comes to clothing.

So in this scene we get some belt choking, deep throating (with nose holding for extra suffocation), talking that I can’t hear (seriously when will someone answer my plea for subtitles in porn?), and some penis in vagina intercourse with a condom.

Scene 1.5: Gabriel

I call it 1.5 because we get to see the interview of the next guy and then he joins in on the fun with Jack and Constance. Gabriel grew up in Brazil and surprised himself when he realized he was attracted to men sometime in his 20s. He has no interest in dating men and only wants to fuck them. Although, he is into lots of different types of men and the body part that turns him on most on both men and women is their genitalia.

Gabriel makes an appearance in the scene with Jack and Constance. The scene starts with Gabriel sucking Jack off while Constance watches and masturbates with a hitachi. There’s making out, rimming, and butt sex. Condoms are used and we even see the switching of condoms when partners are switched. This always makes me happy. To make me even happier, Constance wears a glove when she fingers Jack’s ass. Also, there’s a butt sex train and a double cock suck fest. In the end both men cum on Constance and then Jack licks it up.

Scene 2: Deviant Kade

Kade’s interview reveals that he identifies as bisexual and that he also has no interest in dating men. He also seems to have a very limited view of what the word queer means. He says that he moved to San Francisco in order to better explore his sexuality and that his first anal experience was with a woman strapping on. His turn ons include attitude, open mindedness, well defined men who aren’t too muscley, curvy ladies, people who take care of themselves, and intellect. BTW Kade has beautiful eyes. Just sayin.

The sex scene starts between Kade and Amber Rayne. I gotta admit that I am not attracted to Amber. She’s very conventionally pretty and thin which doesn’t tend to do it for me. However, that girl has a mouth on her and that is totes hot. I can never hear dirty talk in porn, but she annunciates all of her dirty words and I can hear it all. It was actually kind of surprising to hear that dirty mouth so clearly. No low growls or anything. Just clearly stated “Go balls deep in that fucking cunt” and “I want you to cum on my face so I can fucking taste it.”

Anyhoo, there’s some oral sex on both sides, rimming, and Amber finger fucks Kade with her long nails *shudder*. Kade then fucks Amber in the pussy with no condom.

And then this kind of weird dude (Mark Frenchy) with a ridiculous headband on (loved Coyote’s tweet at us to not judge him for his headband) comes in and gets between the two. He pushes Amber away with his foot and she performs some slight foot worship upon it. Then we have a bit of a repeat from the other scene where Mark sucks Kade’s cock while Amber masturbates with a hitachi. Then she joins back in the action and there is a lot of sucking and rimming going on. Follow that with fucking and blowing and stroking. And then all is ruined when Mr. Headband – who is not wearing a condom- fucks Amber in the pussy then the ass and then back again. This pretty much squicked me. And then there’s some cumming, but I’m still too distracted by the ass to vag thing to enjoy that at all.

Scene 3: Rose

When Rose came on the screen I think everyone in twitter pornoparty melted a bit. This guy was just adorable and politically-minded and more interested in breaking down gender than the ones before him. Obviously, we were a somewhat like-minded group. Although that doesn’t mean that we don’t welcome others for future twitter parties. As long as you respect the sex workers you are welcome to our twitter parties.

Rose embraces the word queer, but tends to identify more as an animal. His goal is to get out of the human mindset and break free by delving into his animalistic sexual instincts. Rose also believes that everything is queer. That queerness isn’t just about sexuality or bodies, but about being strange/out of the norm and embracing it. He says that he is a “super feminist” and he is also attracted to power. Don’t you just love him?

So then the sex scene starts and this time it’s two guys beginning. They also seem to keep their clothes on longer which is great because we get to linger on the lacey panties that Tommy Midas is wearing. But before we even get to his panties we see them makingout very sensually. Sure the guys makeout in other scenes, but this scene is just hotter. It feels more genuine. It feels so real and sexy. Plus I think we were all excited that Tommy was a bit of a twink. There’s some cock sucking and some really intense ass fucking with great moaning.

Scene 3.5: Tommy Midas

Like I already said, Tommy is a twink and an adorable one at that. He identifies as queer and as a boy – not a man. He feels that queer is about having more fun, but also having a political agenda. He feels the identity is unrestrictive and tears at the notions of gender. Tommy is a boy and to a certain extent you see that identity in his desire to either be or fuck Peter Pan, the perpetual boy. Tommy is really into age play and also delving deep into the dark parts of the psyche. When Tommy finds himself in relationships they seem to mostly be with female bodied partners who also identify as queer. And just an FYI: he loves group sex.

Now this scene was very interesting to me because a few of the people participating in the pornoparty mentioned that Tommy didn’t look like he enjoyed performing oral sex on a female bodied person. In watching him, I felt like he seemed to enjoy it just as much as when he gave Rose a bj and I wonder how much of this type of judgment had to do with how he presented his gender. He’s a twinky boy and if you saw him walking down the street there’s a good chance you would assume he is gay because of his mannerisms. But in his interview he said that he mostly dates female bodied people so why was this being questioned? I thought that it was interesting that in a movie called “men redefining sexuality” it was assumed that this man was not portraying his honest sexuality. It just goes to show you that even sex positive folks can still put people in boxes that they don’t want to be in. It’s a process and I think it is important for us to all be aware of our own prejudices in order to try to break them down.

Anyhoo, on to the sex. That’s really what you want to hear about anyway, am I right? This scene starts where the last one stopped. Rose is fucking Tommy in the ass. Then Devi Lynne, a beautiful woman, comes in. She starts kissing Tommy and Rose just kind of disappears into the background for a big chunk of this scene. Tommy and Devi perform oral on each other. Devi tells Tommy that he’s a very pretty boy which he enjoys. Then they fuck and there is no condom.

At this point Rose reappears to everyone’s delight – he really was the fave of the party. Devi sucks Tommy off while Rose fingers his ass and strokes his own cock. Rose then cums on Tommy’s ass and Devi licks it up. Then there’s a 3way kiss and the scene ends.

Extras:

Slideshow: Pics of the actors taken in studio and on set. They are set to music. I tend to think that these are rarely worthwhile. The quality (at least on my computer) is somewhat poor and pixelated.

Trailers: There is a trailer for Fluid: Women Redefining Sexuality and The Curse of MacBeth

Overall thoughts: The lighting and sound for all the scenes were done well. It’s never perfect for indie porn, but the quality was better than a lot of the movies I’ve seen. All the scenes were comfortable. There was very little to no awkwardness between players and some had really great chemistry. The interviews were interesting and gave you a little glimpse of each guy’s personality and what turns him on. Overall, though I really prefer Fluid Women over Fluid Men. This may just be a personal taste thing, but I felt more openness and chemistry from the women. Although I do love watching guys suck cock and makeout. If you do too, then definitely pick this flick up. You can get it on DVD or VOD both from Good Vibrations.

Ass to Mouth

I was recently asked to weigh in on a debate happening on the message boards I hang out on. I’m the resident sexpert so there are times when I am definitely in need. The topic was Ass to Mouth (ATM) which specifically means when a guy fucks someone in the ass and then that person gives him a blowjob. They were specifically talking about seeing it in porn. I’ve never seen it in porn myself, but I think that’s because I tend to watch feminist/indie/queer porn.

This is what I wrote:

First of all, no one’s dick should be going in anyone’s ass without a condom. Even if you are both disease free and monogamous the guy can get some pretty nasty infections from barebacking. We’re talking urinary, bladder, and kidney infections here. So always wear a condom for ass sex please.

And if you’re wearing a condom for ass sex then ATM should never make a difference because you can just pull the condom off or switch condoms to blow him. Simple as pie.

If for some reason you decide to not follow my earlier advice and decide that a burning feeling while you piss might be a fun thing to try, then I would highly recommend that you do not stick your dick in anyone’s mouth after it’s been in an ass. You can get e-coli or hepatitis. Hell you can just get e-coli from rimming so what do you think it’s like if you’re basically licking 6 inches inside of someone’s ass?

Please have more respect for your sexual partners as well as sex workers. Sex workers are people too and the more you promote their safety (ie no ATM, safer sex practices, autonomy, etc.) the longer they’ll work and the happier they’ll be. I personally think it’s way hotter to watch pornstars who like fucking and enjoy every second of it instead of ones who are coerced into practices that are unsafe.

I understand that accidents happen and sometimes you’re in the moment and forget what you’re doing. But once you realize it, please stop and go wash up real quick before you keep going. It’s better to be happy, healthy, and safe.

Snotty Blowjob

After my talks in Arizona, audience members got a chance to speak with me one on one. They asked questions that they weren’t comfortable asking in front of a group, didn’t have time for, or just didn’t pertain to the subject matter. I love talking one on one with people, but the problem is that it doesn’t allow much time for me to think about my answers. And sometimes the answer just doesn’t come to you at that point in time. Sometimes you just need to let it stew and then randomly it will pop in your head a few days or weeks later. That is exactly what happened in this case and I’m hoping that couple started reading my blog so they can get the answer they’d hoped for.

The basic issue is that the female partner had a problem with her nose running while giving the male blowjobs. It happened every time she’d give him head. She would have to stop to blow her nose several times during each act. He did not mind, but it understandably drove her crazy.

At the time I suggested that she make sure she’s breathing through her nose from the very beginning instead of through her mouth. I also suggested blowing her nose before they started playing as well as taking a decongestant at least an hour ahead of time. All good suggestions.

But what I failed to ask was what position she was giving a blowjob in. Because if her head is facing downwards that will only help the flow of mucus. If they haven’t yet tried this, I would recommend having her sit on the couch or edge of a bed while he stands in front of her. This way her head will be level instead of pointing downward and may help to cease the snot flow.

So simple! And yet, that’s exactly why I didn’t think of it.