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This post, Oral Sex on the Radio Tomorrow, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 11/17/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Oral Sex on the Radio Tomorrow. Thanks for visiting!
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This is what I wrote:

First of all, no one’s dick should be going in anyone’s ass without a condom. Even if you are both disease free and monogamous the guy can get some pretty nasty infections from barebacking. We’re talking urinary, bladder, and kidney infections here. So always wear a condom for ass sex please.

And if you’re wearing a condom for ass sex then ATM should never make a difference because you can just pull the condom off or switch condoms to blow him. Simple as pie.

If for some reason you decide to not follow my earlier advice and decide that a burning feeling while you piss might be a fun thing to try, then I would highly recommend that you do not stick your dick in anyone’s mouth after it’s been in an ass. You can get e-coli or hepatitis. Hell you can just get e-coli from rimming so what do you think it’s like if you’re basically licking 6 inches inside of someone’s ass?

Please have more respect for your sexual partners as well as sex workers. Sex workers are people too and the more you promote their safety (ie no ATM, safer sex practices, autonomy, etc.) the longer they’ll work and the happier they’ll be. I personally think it’s way hotter to watch pornstars who like fucking and enjoy every second of it instead of ones who are coerced into practices that are unsafe.

I understand that accidents happen and sometimes you’re in the moment and forget what you’re doing. But once you realize it, please stop and go wash up real quick before you keep going. It’s better to be happy, healthy, and safe.

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This post, Ass to Mouth, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 07/05/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Ass to Mouth. Thanks for visiting!
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The basic issue is that the female partner had a problem with her nose running while giving the male blowjobs. It happened every time she’d give him head. She would have to stop to blow her nose several times during each act. He did not mind, but it understandably drove her crazy.

At the time I suggested that she make sure she’s breathing through her nose from the very beginning instead of through her mouth. I also suggested blowing her nose before they started playing as well as taking a decongestant at least an hour ahead of time. All good suggestions.

But what I failed to ask was what position she was giving a blowjob in. Because if her head is facing downwards that will only help the flow of mucus. If they haven’t yet tried this, I would recommend having her sit on the couch or edge of a bed while he stands in front of her. This way her head will be level instead of pointing downward and may help to cease the snot flow.

So simple! And yet, that’s exactly why I didn’t think of it.

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This post, Snotty Blowjob, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 04/28/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Snotty Blowjob. Thanks for visiting!
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Part of this process is having national sex educators come in to teach people about sex positivity. In no way did Fascinations try to hold me back at all from even recommending products to their customers that they don’t carry. The issue they’ve had in trying to carry the better products is that customers don’t know about them and part of the job of sex educators is to teach customers about great body healthy products so that they can ask for them by name and create a demand at the stores. For example, Astroglide and ID lubes fly off the shelves, but no one buys the Maximus or the Sliquid. The first class I taught at Fascinations I actually said that Maximus was my favorite lube (but not great for blowjobs) and told people why and they flew off the shelves. It’s all about teaching people about the right products. They want to know. They crave that knowledge. It’s unfortunate that it’s not readily available for them.

The good news is though that the employees of Fascinations are being educated. I do not know the history behind this exactly. I don’t know how long it has been going on. But I do know that it such a hugely important part of working at a shop that sells sexual products. The industry is unregulated by the FDA. There are so many dangerous products out there and we need people in the stores educating people about what they should and shouldn’t buy. As well as just being able to direct people towards products that are right for them.

I had a fantastic conversation with Fascinations creative director, Michael Ham, over dinner about how the industry is changing and how a lot of that has to do with all the hard work that the feminist sex shops have been putting out there. I love that. It’s taken us a long time, but I think we’re really starting to see change in the industry because of it. As sex toys become more of a normal part of people’s lives and less a part of the skeezy underbelly we will hopefully see more sex toy companies and stores regulating themselves. And one day maybe we’ll finally see the government recognize that it is an industry that needs to be regulated. In several states you can no longer make baby bottles with BPA or Phthalates, but you can still make sex toys with them and much scarier things because they are “for novelty use only.”

So thank you Fascinations for taking on this goal. I can’t wait for the day when I can add you to my sidebar as one of my favorite sex shops.

Thank you also to everyone who came out to my classes. I hope you all learned a lot and had as much fun as I did. People turned out in record numbers which is just awesome. I especially thank all of the people who came out on the first night who had to stand or sit on the floor for an hour and a half. A lot of people would have left, but you stuck through it to learn about something that was important to you. That’s awesome.

I met a lot of really great people and had some truly rewarding conversations. I hope we can meet again in the future and I also hope that you follow me on my career path. I plan on doing a lot of exciting things. This is only the beginning for me. I will continue to educate people and try to make the world a more sex positive place for everyone so that no one has to ever feel ashamed for what they enjoy doing for consensual pleasure.

And the great news is that Fascinations has said they would love to have me out again. So look forward to that. Although, I’ll probably be staying put in Chicago for the next 4 months while my wife finishes up her doctorate and finds a job that brings us elsewhere.

If you missed my Blowjobs 101 workshop you can see it here. It’s a bit pixelated so unfortunately you can’t see everything I’m doing or pointing to, but you can probably still learn a lot. And laugh a lot. I know when I watched it I was even laughing at my own stupid jokes. The first 10 minutes are totally awkward though because I was super nervous. But once I start getting into it that disappears.

Thank you all! You’re super awesome!

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This post, Fascinations and Arizona, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 04/24/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Fascinations and Arizona. Thanks for visiting!
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Oh how things have changed! Tristan Taormino is on the scene and she gives super helpful advice in a totally hot format. Her Expert Guide to Advanced Fellatio is everything that that old tape was not. If only my 18 year old self had had access to her instructional style I would have been much less shy about giving blowjobs. Granted I probably would have started with the regular fellatio DVD, not the advanced one. And I highly suggest you start with that one if you haven’t developed your blowjob style. Luckily, I figured out how to give blowjobs despite that awful tape and was very ready for the advanced version.

The DVD starts with the workshop portion which lasts about 53 minutes. This is where Tristan Taormino goes over the male anatomy; talks about what makes a great blowjob; goes over the different advanced positions – sword swallower, standing 69,and  reverse 69 – which are mostly for the athletic flexible types; how to successfully deep throat;  gagging and face fucking; playing with his balls, perineum, and ass; and different blowjob styles -sensual, sloppy, submissive, and aggressive . In between gems of knowledge, porn stars also talk about what they love about giving or receiving blowjobs which helps add to the discussion. But all that would be horribly boring if we didn’t also have blowjob demos going on with the explanations. For everything that Tristan talks about, there is a corresponding scene to show us how to do it.

Whether it’s Standing 69:

or reverse 69:

And even better, there are cameras in the hands of both the behind the set people AND the male porn stars. You get point of view blowjobs and views from a bit more of a distance so you can see all the angles.

After the workshop portion we see all 3 scenes in their entirety. And the truth of the matter is that after 53 minutes of blowjobs I couldn’t handle anymore. That’s seriously a lot of blowjobs. But that is the point of this DVD so I hardly fault anyone for it. By the end of it you will definitely have more of an idea about how to spice up your blowjobs even if you can’t bend over backwards.

A few days later after I could handle blowjobs I came back to the DVD. The first scene is between Christian and Charley Chase. This is the sloppiest wettest blowjob I’ve ever seen. Saliva, you see, is a great thing to have during a blowjob. That being said, the workshop portion gave me my fill of this bj and I had to fastforward through the full scene. All that slobber and sucky smacky gaggy noises were starting to make me feel sick. It’s just not my cup of tea. I like a good slobbery bj just as much as the next cock lover, but this kinda grossed me out. There were giant spit bubbles and wads of spit on tits, faces, thighs, and dripping onto the floor. This is just a personal preference and you should not let it keep you from giving or getting the sloppiest bj imaginable.

The second scene features Adrianna Nicole and Evan Stone. This has been the least noticeable role for Evan Stone in the history of his entire career. He could be anyone! In fact, for parts of it he was just a disembodied cock that Adrianna was sucking on. And let me tell ya, Adrianna sucks cock like a champ. I think the woman has no gag reflex left. Thankfully she also uses a bit less saliva. No, the only things that were distracting to this hot blowjob were Evan’s dirty feet, the music that just didn’t seem to fit, and the extreme closeups that plague this DVD (I mean really if I can’t actually tell what is going on you’re too damn close!).

The scene doesn’t just contain a bj either! Yay! There’s also some pleasure for Adrianna’s genitals as well. She gets fingered, there’s the reverse 69, and there’s some fucking at the end.

And as usual, Tristan saves the best scene for last: Satine Phoenix sucking and deep throating Danny Wylde’s uncircumcised cock. It is no secret that I adore Satine Phoenix. I think she is one of the most sensual porn stars around. It doesn’t hurt that she’s also a curvy latina with big lips and eyes. After I watched this DVD I have to say that the saddest thing about her quitting porn is that this is the only time her and Danny Wylde work together. Because seriously, this is one of the hottest scenes I’ve ever seen. Ever.

So what makes this scene so extremely hot? Well, besides Satine’s amazing hotness that is? First of all, Danny actually shows his enjoyment. While a lot of male porn stars, and men in general, are all stoic and quiet in their lovemaking, Danny lets it all out. He shows you he is enjoying it. Let this be a lesson to you dudes: making noise and admitting that you’re having fun when you’re having sex is sexy. I once dated a guy who wouldn’t make any noise or even breathe when he was cumming. His face would turn purple and his veins popped out. I was afraid his head was going to explode. I had to teach him to let it out.

Second, both Satine and Danny are really into fucking each other. There is unmistakable chemistry here. The eye contact is intense and you can feel the energy between them.

But mostly, I could easily put myself in the place of Satine. I’ve been there before! The kind of intense fucking where you feel like you couldn’t live without his cock inside of you a second more. Every time Danny’s dick slips out of Satine she whimpers at the loss. And yet when he is fucking her it is almost so intense that she can’t handle it. This scene is going to be in my permanent wank rotation. If you don’t watch anything else in this movie, please watch this scene. That’s why they have VOD so you can watch just one scene easily and don’t have to pay for the whole thing.

Overall: This DVD is fantastic for learning advanced blowjob techniques. This is definitely not for those who have not mastered the basic blowjob though. If you’re feeling confident with your skills, but want to know how to step it up a notch this is definitely the movie for you. If you want to just watch porn and you love watching blowjobs you will think this is the best porno ever. If you just want to watch porn, but want something besides blowjobs you should probably skip this flick except for checking out the last scene with Danny and Satine.

Technical Stuff: Shot in Hi-Def. The music does not match the sex and is a little distracting and sometimes the camera gets a little to up in the action to the point where you can’t really tell what is going on. But overall, the technical stuff is all pretty good. Lighting is well done and sound is fantastic. You can hear what everyone says and the screams are not deafening.

Contest: If you’d like to own a copy of this DVD, but don’t want to buy it I have great news for you! I have an extra copy that I want to give you. There are two ways to enter. You can leave a comment on this post and/or you can tweet about it once per day. Make sure that your profile is public and that you put @garnetjoyce and a link to the contest in the tweet otherwise it won’t count. Example: Win an advanced BJ DVD from @garnetjoyce! Rules: http://vb.ly/266o. Contest ends at midnight CST on April 15th.

Otherwise you can order the DVD straight from Tristan here or watch it instantly on HotMoviesForHer.com.

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This post, Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Fellatio, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 04/01/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Fellatio. Thanks for visiting!
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And maybe it was because I had such extremely low expectations for this toy that I actually ended up loving it. Its not perfect and it doesn’t really feel like oral sex, but I really, really like it! It has not been able to get me to orgasm and I doubt that it will ever will. My clit needs a jackhammer. But it is a great warmup. The sensations that it creates actually arouse me in ways that a vibrator just can’t do. It feels like a more natural warm up than just sticking a Hitachi between my legs and going from 0 to 60 in 10 minutes or less. It makes me coo!

So this is how it all went down: I received the Sqweel in the mail, opened the package, and made fun of it. I then actually started feeling the pink silicone tongues and getting a little excited. For some reason I had expected the tongues to be more hard and rigid instead of the soft supple silicone that they were. The toy was a bit smaller than I had expected as well. It fit in the palm of my hand easily, which is saying a lot since I have the hands of a 5 year old. I probably would have tried it right then and there except that it took AAA batteries and I only had AA’s in the house. It would have to wait.

A couple days went by and each time I’d pass the Sqweel waiting for me in the kitchen (what? You don’t keep your new toys on the kitchen table?) I’d look at it longingly. I was surprised by how much I wanted to try it, but still figured it probably wouldn’t feel all that great.

I finally picked up a pack of batteries at the store and went to work cleaning the Sqweel. The makers of this toy really thought this through! It is extremely easy to open the plastic clamshell and pop the pieces out for easy cleaning. It will never be exceedingly easy to clean so many silicone tongues, but they made it so it wasn’t extremely difficult. I imagine lesser companies would’ve made it so you couldn’t open the container, but had to turn the wheel to clean each tongue one by one. And forget about any gunk that might form on the inside. Thankfully this is not the case with the Sqweel.

I then took it to the bedroom with the little sample packet of Sliquid Organics lube that was provided in the box and proceeded to get under the covers with my wife who was extremely interested in how this test was going to turn out. I turned the toy on to the low setting and slowly squeezed lube out onto the tongues so they would all get covered. I then put a little lube on myself. If you don’t like being lubey then this toy is really not for you because you really need to get it nice and slick for it to feel good.

I spread my outer labia a bit so that I could get the toy right up on my clit and went to town. I tried the 3 different speeds and I tried different angling of the toy. The first speed really doesn’t do much for me as its too slow and stops too easily when pressed up against. I definitely enjoyed the medium and highest speed although if you press it into yourself these speeds will also stop. But remember ladies this is not a vibrator! Pressing it hard into yourself is just going to stop the motion, not make the sensation go deeper. I found my favorites were to have the toy at a slight angle so that the tongues went in a diagonal line across my clit or to have the top of the clamshell resting on my mons (the fleshy mound above my vulva). If you get one of these babies I definitely suggest you play around and find what works best for you. The only complaint I had about it at this point was that the lube and toy were cold and they’re not going to warm up when just lapping at my clit. In the winter this totally sucks. I wish there was a way to easily and safely warm up the lube and keep it warm throughout the experience.

The whole time I was playing with it I was cooing and talking about how surprised I was that I liked this toy this much. My wife just had to try it herself. So she gave it a go. As you may have seen me tweet, she said “It feels like its punching my clit, but in a good way.” She enjoyed the sensation quite a bit as well, but said she would’ve liked it to have more power. In the end it just left her wanting more. Really, it was the same for me as well, but that wasn’t a negative point for me like it was for her. The Hitachi was then broken out for finishing the job that the Sqweel had started.

Trial #2 had me sitting in my office chair while I watched Frisk Me on my computer (OMG the hotness that is Satine Phoenix and Syd Blakovich). The Sqweel really didn’t work out at all for this type of masturbation. I thought it would be great to have that slow build while I watched porn, after all I’m in it for the long haul, not the quickie. But it turns out that it is extremely difficult to use the Sqweel while sitting upright. The issue is that it is too difficult to spread my labia so that the toy can get to my clit. Even while reclining slightly I found it very difficult. The only way that it worked was with one foot up on my desk, which was difficult. I’m sure it would be easier in the summer when I can just hang out pantsless with my feet spread on either side of my desk, but in the winter it is no small feat to keep my Slanket on and do this at the same time. Yes, I have a Slanket, shut up. Its wicked better than the Snuggie, but I don’t think either really lend themselves to masturbation.

So trial #2 was a fail, but I am not giving up on this toy because, as I already said, I really, really like it.  I have a feeling that this toy is actually going to be one I use often and not just try out for a review and then toss into my big pile of unused sex toys in my bottom dresser drawer.

Some things to keep in mind with this toy:

• It takes up a lot of room on your vulva so trying to get a dildo in your vagina while having this thing lapping at your clit is going to be difficult, although not completely impossible.
• The tongues are silicone, but the rest of the toy is plastic which means that you cannot share this with anyone unless you are fluid bonded.
• To clean this toy you can take it a part and clean the tongues with a bleach solution, anti-bacterial toy cleaner, or soap and water. The clamshell is not waterproof and therefore should be wiped down with a soapy washcloth or toy wipes.
• The motor makes a bit of a whirring sound, but you can barely hear it if it is under blankets.
• The tongues are silicone and therefore will attract dust and cat fur like crazy. Luckily the toy comes with a lid so you don’t have to clean it again when you get back from the bathroom.
• Experiment with different positions and body parts. This toy will feel really different going in different directions.
• If vibrators often leave your clit numb, this may be a good option for you.
• If you need a jackhammer to get off, this toy is not going to make you orgasm, but it may feel very pleasant.

If you’re interested in buying a Sqweel you can get it here.

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This post, The Sqweel, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 02/13/2010. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: The Sqweel. Thanks for visiting!
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