Penis Size | Ask Garnet

Size Obsession

This has been pretty big news lately so many of you may have already heard about this, but I think it is so fabulous that it needs to be written about again and again until people really get the point. Keira Knightley, the second highest paid actress in Hollywood, has put her foot down and told studios that she does NOT want her breasts digitally enhanced in her new movie’s publicity photos. She says she’s very happy with the breasts she has. For more info and a video that interviews feministing’s Courtney Martin click on the picture below.

And for even more American size obsession check out Vagzilla! on Scarleteen.com for a humorous and educational take on genital size.

Ouch! His Penis Hurts Me!

The guy I’m dating is fairly well hung. Strange thing is that while it’s not the biggest penis I’ve had, it HURTS me a lot afterwards, not during. He’s energetic but not really very rough. Most my previous partners try to drill holes through me, this one is tame by anyone’s standards.

If I stay awake after sex, then I’m hurting until I fall asleep. If I fall asleep after, then the pain starts to hit me a few hours after waking and walking around. I’m not talking about sore, my uterus feels like it’s getting sucked up by my stomach. I can’t walk and changing positions makes me feel like my insides are going to explode.

Everyone at work laughs at me (there’s no way i can hide this sort of pain) and while my boy sympathizes with me, mostly, he just laughs because it’s this insane ego trip for him.

I don’t want to not have sex. It’s not only very good sex, but it’s kind of impossible to avoid. He’s very young and very horny.

What do I do?

Any man who is proud of hurting a woman with his penis is a misogynistic jerk. I don’t care how young and horny he may be, if he wants to have sex with you he should be more understanding and try to find ways to make sure you don’t hurt afterwards. Sex should be a pleasurable experience for both of you and if you’re hurting after sex then you’re going to be less likely to want to do it as time goes on. It is in his best interest to help you out in any way he can.

The first thing I want you to do is go to a doctor or a reproductive health clinic like Planned Parenthood. Get a pelvic exam and get tested for STIs. Pain can be caused by STIs or other infections that may not show any other symptoms.

If you find out you are healthy or after you get treated and you find you’re still having pains you will probably need to experiment with positions. Your current partner may not be bigger than some of the guys you’ve had, but his penis may be shaped differently. Take note of the way his penis curves. Any curvature at all may hurt certain women while others may prefer a curved penis. Try having his penis enter you from different angles and see if this makes a difference.

There are also positions you can try to make penetration shallower. Try laying on your stomach with your legs slightly separated and him on top of you, entering from behind. Try having sex in a spooning position. You can also try riding him, which will give you control over depth. Missionary will even work as long as you keep your legs down on the bed instead of up in the air or over his shoulders.

The goal really is to experiment a lot and see what works for the both of you. Experimenting is fun and hot!

Penis Enlargement Spam

I receive penis enlargement spam more than any other type of spam. This is rather ridiculous really considering that I am a female bodied woman in a monogamous relationship with another female bodied woman. I don’t actually read the emails themselves, but I do often read the subjects. These include such gems as:
“90% of women wish their man was bigger”
“all women prefer a bigger penis”
“enlarge your penis so you can reach her special nerve endings”
“your masculinity just needs a larger penis”
“your sex life will improve with a bigger penis”
Along with many that call men’s masculinity into question.

We won’t even talk about how receiving these types of emails in large quantities could be potentially harmful to a man’s self-esteem or the reliability of the products they are promoting. I just want to dispel some of the myths that these subjects perpetuate. (Warning: This is very heterocentric.)

1. 90% of women wish their man was larger/all women prefer a bigger penis – These statistics are ridiculous. You have to wonder where they even get them. Do they completely make them up or do they ask 5 women who they know are size queens? There are some women who wish their male partner had a bigger penis, but there are also other women who wish their partner had a smaller one. Other women would like it if their partner focused on other parts of sex besides intercourse and still more women would just like it if her partner helped around the house more.

Most women can’t even orgasm from intercourse alone; it doesn’t matter how big your dick is. In fact, a big dick is more likely to hurt her than to bring her pleasure. The average woman’s vagina is only 4 inches long! If you have a 9 inch penis, where do you think all those extra inches are going to go exactly? Many men who naturally have bigger penises actually find many women cannot take it all in.

2. Reaching her “special nerve endings” – This is an outright lie. There are actually very few nerve endings at the back of the vagina. Most of the nerve endings are concentrated in the first third, while the last 2/3rds is more sensitive to pressure. If a woman really had “special nerve endings” she would be able to feel a tampon inside of her and that would be unpleasant for many women.

3. You are not a man unless you have a big penis – If this were true, we would know exactly how big the cocks of the “manly men” were. Do you know how big John Wayne’s cock was? It wasn’t his cock that made him a man among men. How big are the cocks of Vin Diesel, The Rock, or Bruce Willis? This information is hardly common knowledge and yet most people find them to be hypermasculine.

4. A bigger penis makes for a better sex life – Focusing too much on the penis will actually make your sex life less fulfilling. Sex is not just about penile/vaginal intercourse. When you focus on just that you are much less likely to please your partner and she will be much less likely to want to have sex with you. Communication is a much better path to an improved sex life than is penis enlargement. Talk about what the two of you like to do during sex, what you’d like more of, and what you’d like less of. Be sensitive and caring and never place blame.

I hope that was informative. And please send me questions!