Hey y’all! We’re gonna have a twitter porno party tomorrow (Wednesday) at 9PM EST/ 6PM PST and you should join us! We’ll be watching Fluid: Men Redefining Sexuality and live tweeting about it. It looks like the hashtag will probably be either #fluidmen or #pornoparty. I’m kind of rooting for the second one. It would be fun to make this a semi-regular thing and always use #pornoparty as the tag.
And look for my review of this Feminist porn award winner soon!
Another installment of my Ethical Pornographer column just went up. This one features the smart and sexy Dylan Ryan. Whenever I hear this song I think of her:
I could probably write an entire blog post just about why this song reminds me of Dylan, but I don’t want to do that because I don’t actually know her as a person. But basically, in my mind she’s a strong woman who deserves a lot of respect and what I gathered from Fluid: Women Redefining Sexuality is that she likes to reclaim words. She has reclaimed ho and I could totally see her reclaiming “sexy bitch” and giving it an awesome positive attitude.
Anyhoo, here’s a snippet from the interview:
I do enjoy performing with a wide variety of people and that I do is completely intentional. As a person, I feel a lot of pride about being queer identified and feel it important that the understandings of what queer is be more broad. I resist being pigeonholed in general but also want to represent a more fluid sexuality that feels available to all people. I guess I strive for it and it comes naturally, I just enjoy sex and want to promote a sexuality that is open and accessible. Lately I have been getting to choose who I work with, especially in doing boy/girl porn. It’s fun to be able to choose because as I mentioned earlier, I know who is professional and has a reputation for shooting great scenes and being pleasant to work with. I also have people in the business that I admire and want to work with at some point so getting to choose those people is always great. I am also flexible and enjoy working with people who are booked, which is how it happens most often. Again, I have been very lucky that I have really enjoyed a lot of the people I have shot with, that’s the benefit of working with companies you love, they hire great people and you make new acquaintances that way.
Late last week John “Buttman” Stagliano’s case was dismissed from court for not enough evidence. This is a great relief for the porn community and should be a relief for all really.
Stagliano was charged with obscenity and was facing up to 32 years in prison and $7 million in fines. Many compared this to the sentence handed to Oscar Grant’s murderer who received just 14 years in jail for a crime witnessed around the world .
The obscenity in question featured 3 movies which had such apparently depraved things as female ejaculation (I’ve seen urination cited as one of the violations and I wonder if this is what they are referring to or if there is also urination), milk enemas, ass sex, foot fetish, BDSM, and puppy play. All of the players in the movies were consenting adults. All of the people who would be viewing the movies would also be consenting adults as long as there was no coercion by outside sources having nothing to do with the films themselves or Stagliano. How exactly is this worse than shooting someone? Even if the content of the videos is not something that turns you on, why should it be charged as obscene and the creator thrown in jail with hefty fines? The same could happen for the creator of something that does turn you on. It’s a slippery slope.
Thankfully Stagliano has been let go. But I must worry for other such pornographers who push the envelope. The envelope that is sometimes not even all that far outside of the norm. For example, did you know that fisting is considered to be obscene and distributors will not let it appear in DVD format? Fisting is an incredibly common act in the queer community and something that ends up getting cut from a lot of films where queer actors are told to have the kind of sex that they love to have. And is female ejaculation really pushing the envelope? Many women do it. It’s not even something that a lot of women do by choice. It is a natural reaction to their orgasms. How exactly is that any more obscene then men ejaculating?
I do hope that this sets some sort of precedent, but I worry that it won’t because the case was thrown out for insufficient evidence. Had Stagliano been judged not guilty then the precedent could have been set and it would have been more difficult to convict pornographers after this. Although I am curious how much evidence is needed when prosecutors had an entire video catalogue to choose from.
Obscenity laws are supposedly meant to protect people, but I have to wonder who they think they are protecting. If anything, the adult industry needs to stop being shamed all the time and there needs to be more of a focus on enhancing the working environments for sex workers. But that’s another argument for another day, one I’m always making.
iSpankMyself was launched last Friday and I was cool enough to get a sneak peek. The site is a Mad Blanket Pictures production and definitely fits well with what they’re currently offering. The pictures and video are beautifully shot and Lily Francfort is quite obviously expressing her own sexuality in a way that is comfortable for her and feels good. And I love all that about Mad Blanket and Camille Crimson.
But see, here’s the thing. While all that is awesome, I get bored kind of easily. The first video I watched on iSpankMyself was friggin hot and I got all tingly in my undies. But then I watched another video and it was still pretty hot and I was still a little tingly. But it got repetitive. Its the same woman spanking herself and masturbating (or sometimes not masturbating) over and over again. Sure she has different implements and different story lines, but it’s pretty much the same stuff over and over. I just don’t have that kind of attention span. Plus, while I find Lily cute she’s just not my type. Maybe if she was I would be more into it?
What this means is that if you love watching women spanking and masturbating you will love this website. If you think Lily is the bees knees you will love this website. If not, you’ll probably get bored pretty quickly. What I recommend instead is checking out their ala carte website, The Beautiful Porn, where you can buy individual videos and photosets. That way you can get a taste of spanking, blowjobs, and feet without being over saturated with just one thing.
There is this woman who comes into Early to Bed. She isn’t really a regular like the ones who come into the shop so often that they always need to ask what’s new. In fact, it took me awhile to recognize her as coming in a few times, but she is one of my favorite customers.
At first I misjudged her. I try not to be judgmental, but I do that kind of self-defense judgment of people where I’m always on the lookout for people who may be offensive or judgmental themselves. So if you look like you belong in a frat I will probably assume you’re a beer drinking douchebag until you prove me otherwise. I never said I was perfect.
So at first I misjudged her. The first several times she came in her hair was blonde, now it is brunette. She used to look like a sorority girl and with that slight southern accent of hers and her classic good looks I thought she would be a giggly girl with not much knowledge of the sexual world. It is people like her that remind me that I should not judge others.
It took me a few times to recognize her. All I realized about her the first few times is that she looked familiar. It probably took til the 3rd or 4th time of her coming in for me to remember that she is incredibly awesome. She is so open about her’s and other’s sexuality. She does not judge. She is extremely curious about experiences outside of her own, but not in an othering way. She just genuinely is interested in people. And she’s nice. She’s so nice.
This past weekend she came into the store with a man. Apparently this man had some history at the shop as well, but I do not ever remember seeing him previously. But you knew he had to be an incredible guy once you found out that he was married to her. This intelligent sweet woman. And he did not let me down.
They both wandered around the store sometimes talking to each other, sometimes talking to me and my coworker. Always having such engaging conversations about things they enjoyed, but never getting too personal as some customers seem to do. It was always light and fun. He enjoys ass play. They love watching queer porn. They want to see more real couples in porn. They read erotica together. He is extremely interested in any sort of theatrical works and therefore must watch The Curse of MacBeth.
Both of them so comfortable in their sexuality. Both of them in what appeared to be an egalitarian loving relationship.
As they left the store both my coworker and I found that we had smiles on our face. We decided that they should win the best couple award if there was one.
I was recently asked to weigh in on a debate happening on the message boards I hang out on. I’m the resident sexpert so there are times when I am definitely in need. The topic was Ass to Mouth (ATM) which specifically means when a guy fucks someone in the ass and then that person gives him a blowjob. They were specifically talking about seeing it in porn. I’ve never seen it in porn myself, but I think that’s because I tend to watch feminist/indie/queer porn.
This is what I wrote:
First of all, no one’s dick should be going in anyone’s ass without a condom. Even if you are both disease free and monogamous the guy can get some pretty nasty infections from barebacking. We’re talking urinary, bladder, and kidney infections here. So always wear a condom for ass sex please.
And if you’re wearing a condom for ass sex then ATM should never make a difference because you can just pull the condom off or switch condoms to blow him. Simple as pie.
If for some reason you decide to not follow my earlier advice and decide that a burning feeling while you piss might be a fun thing to try, then I would highly recommend that you do not stick your dick in anyone’s mouth after it’s been in an ass. You can get e-coli or hepatitis. Hell you can just get e-coli from rimming so what do you think it’s like if you’re basically licking 6 inches inside of someone’s ass?
Please have more respect for your sexual partners as well as sex workers. Sex workers are people too and the more you promote their safety (ie no ATM, safer sex practices, autonomy, etc.) the longer they’ll work and the happier they’ll be. I personally think it’s way hotter to watch pornstars who like fucking and enjoy every second of it instead of ones who are coerced into practices that are unsafe.
I understand that accidents happen and sometimes you’re in the moment and forget what you’re doing. But once you realize it, please stop and go wash up real quick before you keep going. It’s better to be happy, healthy, and safe.
Hey y’all! We’re gonna have a twitter porno party tomorrow (Wednesday) at 9PM EST/ 6PM PST and you should join us! We’ll be watching Fluid: Men Redefining Sexuality and live tweeting about it. It looks like the hashtag will probably be either #fluidmen or #pornoparty. I’m kind of rooting for the second one. It would be fun to make this a semi-regular thing and always use #pornoparty as the tag.
