Sex Positive Upselling Online

This is my part of a 5 person panel that was presented at ANE. The topic was upselling in a sex positive way and my focus, since I work for an online retailer, was selling sexual health products online. This is only what I wrote, not what I said. I tend to ad lib a bit, but this is the bones.

Upselling body healthy luxury toys, in general, tends to be much easier in a brick and mortar store. When you have sales people interacting with your customers you have the edge. It becomes a lot more difficult in e-commerce because if your customer comes to your site looking for a giant blue jelly dong that’s most likely what they’re going to leave with.

But that doesn’t mean that you don’t have options. There are four areas that you can focus on to help upsell in a sex positive way through your e-commerce store:

  1. Reputation and branding
  2. Education and Customer service
  3. Variety
  4. Cross selling

If you are known for selling high end toys that is what you will sell. If you are known for selling cheap jelly toys that is what people will expect from you. Your brand – the image you project and the demographic you attract with that image will dictate what you can and cannot sell. This is influenced by everything from the images and copy you choose to display on your website to how you interact through social media. Watch closely how you talk about sex, people’s bodies, and the products you’re selling. You can’t use the same kind of language to sell a 12 inch dong as you do for a $200 luxury vibrator.

If you’re not currently projecting the image of a store where customers will come for luxury sex toys you should know that you can change your image, but only if you’re willing to put in the work to make that happen. As sex toys become accepted in the mainstream more and more customers are becoming more educated and are choosing to shop with companies that reflect their views of sex toys as normal and healthy. If you speak about the toys you’re selling in a misogynistic or degrading way you will turn off many of your higher end customers.

So how do you create a brand that’s good for selling luxury products? Educate your customers. Dedicating your site to sexual education shows that you care about your customers. You see them as more than dollar signs. You have a vested interest in their sexual health. Tell them what products are made of and what the pros and cons are of those materials. Point them towards the products that are more body healthy. There are numerous ways of doing this including creating a materials and ingredients page that product pages hyperlink to, making product videos (or using videos made by the manufacturers) to highlight the body healthy toys, creating a body healthy toys and lube category that is easy to find on your homepage and can easily be linked to by your affiliates, if you have bloggers writing
reviews for you encourage them to also write a short review on the product page, include staff reviews and picks, and offer easily accessible customer service with a representative who is knowledgeable. Just because you are online doesn’t mean you can’t interact with your customers. Offer instant messaging and make your 800 number visible on every page.

Education is important and you will change some people’s minds and teach them how to better take care of their bodies, but sometimes people just want a cheap blue jelly dong and if you don’t sell it they’ll get it somewhere else. This is why it’s so important to offer variety to your customers.

Make it very known which products are safer than others, but leave the decision making up to your customers. You’ve informed them, now let them make their choice. For truly dangerous products like anal desensitizers this may not be the best option, but a jelly toy that is packed full of phthalates and BPA doesn’t have to be harmful if your customers use a barrier to protect themselves. But you have to inform them that this is the best option.

That’s why cross selling is so important. Not everyone can afford a $100 100% pure medical grade silicone dildo and to presume to know what’s best for your customer is patronizing them. If they can’t afford it, they can’t afford it. It doesn’t matter that that dildo will last them a lifetime unless you can offer them monthly installment plans. But they can afford to buy a $20 dildo and put a condom on it every time they use it. Yes, this will cost them more money in the long run, but they shouldn’t have to choose between food and a dildo. The same goes for people who are inexperienced. If you’re just learning to cook you don’t go out and buy the pots and pans of professionals because they’re too expensive. Yes, your food might taste better coming out of those professional pans and they might last 20 years, but if you’re not even sure you like cooking you’re going to opt to buy the $20 set from Target. The same goes for sex toys. Most people aren’t going to drop $100 on their first sex toy and you shouldn’t push them into it. Instead educate them on what options are available in their price range. There are many body healthy options made from ABS plastic that are much more affordable or they can always use a barrier between their sex toys and them. Making your customer happy is more important than upselling because that college student who can only afford the $20 dildo is more likely to come back when they have more money because they had a good experience with you. By being honest with your customers and selling to them based off of their interests instead of their insecurities they will feel safer buying from you and you will create loyalty.

The O Awards

I’m extremely excited to share with you guys that I will be presenting the award for Outstanding Innovation at the O Awards in July. For those not in the know, the O Awards honor “outstanding achievements in the pleasure products industry, including design, innovation, marketing, distribution and retailing.”

And I already have a date! The one and only awesomeness that is Sarah Sloane. This is particularly exciting because, even though we chat regularly, we’ve never actually met in person. She is also presenting an award, Outstanding Boutique.

There’s gonna be a big party afterward too hosted by Reid and Papaya Toys. It should be lots of fun.

AVN is opening the doors to the ANE trade show and O Awards this year to bloggers and sex educators so if you’re interested in attending drop Papaya Pam a line.

Buyer

So I think I forgot to mention this before, not that it’s been that long since it happened. But I got more responsibilities at my job which included a big one that I really wanted. I am now a buyer which means that I research new products to pick up for the website. I’m also trying to get several items discontinued. The idea is to bring the inventory up to match the mission of the website. Out with the old, sticky, and stinky and in with the new, innovative, and body-healthy. Yayness!

Anyhoo, there are certain things that go along with this new responsibility. Some of them are good. Like I’m going to LA this week for a product show. Some of them are bad. Like seeing this kind of awfulness in catalogues:

Bad, but also pretty hilarious.

Butt Plug That Fits Between the Cheeks

Q: How about a store that sells a decent butt plug? One with a narrow base that fits between the cheeks, and not the rounded, awkward base?

A: There are several great options on the market and I’m not sure why everyone doesn’t make comfy butt plugs that stay in well and fit between the cheeks for extended wear.

Bob is a great beginner plug with a curve for prostate stimulation. It’s made out of a super silky silicone that is easy to take care of and is body healthy. Or if you have entirely too much money let me suggest the same exact toy, but in silver or gold. Because sometimes you just need a little butt jewelry. Those even come with matching cufflinks.

If you like the idea of a heavy metal feeling in your bum, but you don’t have that kind of scratch don’t fear! njoy makes a couple of different options in steel that are a bit more budget friendly including the Pfun Plug great for prostate stimulation and the Pure Plug which comes in 3 different sizes. One thing to keep in mind with metal plugs is that they tend to feel bigger because they are weighty and hard so err on the side of small when choosing a metal plug.

The Ryder Plug will stay put very nicely and fit well between the cheeks for extended wear. It’s made out of silicone so it’s easy to take care of and should last you a life time.

Tristan Taormino, queen of the ass sex, designed her own plug because she saw a void that needed to be filled (pun soooo intended). The plug was named after her: Tristan. This is also a silicone plug.

How Sex Toys Changed My Life

There isn’t a clear dividing line between before sex toys and after sex toys because I started masturbating with sex toys. I started with sex toys at a young age, before I even actually knew exactly what they were. Anything that vibrated made a bee line for my young pants once I figured out how nice it felt.

Even on the worst day when I was in the worst mood ever I knew exactly how to give myself a little pick-me-up. One of the greatest things about vibrators that I haven’t seen many people mention is that, for me at least, I don’t need to feel particularly sexual in order to have an orgasm. This has it’s downsides (like not always working myself into the mood when I masturbate and just getting out a quick orgasm), but it also has a major upside in mood elevation. I don’t have to feel sexy or happy to have an orgasm.

I’ve never been able to bring myself to orgasm using my hands. This may be because I started with vibrators early on or it may be because my clit likes to disappear right before orgasm. It literally pulls upwards, not to be found. Luckily, powerful vibrators can still reach my clit and push me to orgasm. As I’ve gotten older and my arthritis in my wrists has gotten worse I’m extremely thankful for my vibrators which allow me to use my hands as little as possible.

But like I said, the line for me wasn’t before or after sex toys. Actually, it was before and after good sex toys. It’s before and after I knew what was body healthy and what wasn’t. I have a lot of allergies and sex toys are no exception. Bad sex toys left me with burning sensations and yeast infections. Good sex toys only leave behind the feeling of satisfaction. The only burning that happens is from too much friction.

Finding good quality sex toys gave me a passion, a knowledge that most people don’t have, and it gave me a career. Sex toys were never taboo for me, but I had to seek out information on what was good for the body and what wasn’t. And I’m still learning more every day in this ever expanding field.

If you haven’t ever tried sex toys or you’ve never tried a good one please stop by SexToyDay.com on Nov 4th to get your free sex toy. Pocket rockets may be cheap, but they’re body healthy and have strong motors.

Sex Toy Day Nov 4th

Have you heard yet? Sex Toy Day is coming November 4th! What is Sex Toy Day?

Sex toys are gaining in popularity as more and more people realize their benefits.  But we understand that some people might still be wary, which is why we decided to create Sex Toy Day; a day that is dedicated to educating the American public and getting them talking about how sex toys can or have changed their lives.  What better way to get the discussion going than to provide free sex toys and free shipping?

On November 4th starting at 11AM EST/8AM PST SexToyDay.com will be giving away 1,000 MyPleasure Waterproof Pocket Rockets. And when I say giving away, I mean absolutely free. Free sex toys! You don’t even pay for shipping. So make sure you’re there to get yours by signing up for a reminder email. Also, you should play around with the features on the site. There are polls, facts, a blog carnival, and ways to share your story.