Women | Ask Garnet

Smart Balls

I’m always telling you to do your Kegel exercises so I figured it was about time that I reviewed a toy that is specifically used for that purpose. Babeland recently sent me the very popular Smart Balls and I gave them a try. Love them!

When I first opened the package I wasn’t too psyched about the color they sent me, but I told myself that it didn’t matter since I wouldn’t be looking at them a whole bunch. Working my way to stronger orgasms is much more important than the color of the equipment I use to do it.

The balls are about 1.5″ in diameter and are made out of elastomer with smaller weighted balls that roll and shake around inside. I found them to be a little large to insert when not aroused so you may want to turn yourself on a bit and use plenty of lube before you put them in and go about your business. And apparently many women who use these balls actually do go about their business at work, at home, running errands, etc. I haven’t gotten up the guts to wear them outside of the house yet for fear of an extremely embarrassing moment. But maybe sometime I’ll wear them out on a date. That could be a lot of fun.

So what you do with these balls is lube them up and pop them in your vagina. You can put either one or both balls in depending on your vagina size, comfort level, and muscle strength. Once they are comfortably in you can squeeze on the balls and even pull on the string in order to get some resistance. You can also practice pushing them out of your vagina.

So what makes Smart Balls better than traditional Kegel exercises without any equipment? I don’t know about you, but when I keep flexing the same muscles over and over again I start to forget which muscles I’m flexing after awhile and start to flex the wrong ones. Its kind of like when you say a word over and over and it starts to sound less and less like a word … kegel kegel kegel kegel …. You get the idea. Smart balls also allow you to step up your workout routine. You can flex your biceps as much as you want, but you’re just not going to get big muscles if you don’t add any resistance. And lets face it, Smart Balls are just plain fun! They feel good and many women report being in a slight state of arousal the entire time they wear them.

And really, I gotta say that they are great for masturbation. I like working my kegel muscles, but damnit I LOVE working them during masturbation. And these little wonders are no exception. You can’t really move them around too much so they’re not like a dildo, but if you use your hands or a vibe on your clit while squeezing and releasing on your Smart Balls it feels mighty nice. And what’s even better is that when you orgasm, the muscle contractions cause the little weighted balls inside to shake, rattle, and roll into an extra special feeling. Try putting a vibe through the string of the balls as well. The vibration will carry through the toy.

The only thing I didn’t like about this toy is that the string is stiff and kept tickling my leg during masturbation. Unlike a regular string, it can’t easily be pushed out of the way. However, I wouldn’t want a fabric string on this toy as it would harbor bacteria. So you gotta take the good with the bad and I have to learn to not be distracted so easily.

Lets go back to my distaste of the color of my Smart Balls. After using them for the first time, I looked at them again and found them to be beautiful. Beauty isn’t just skin deep after all.

Kegel Toys

So, I have heard time and again how important Kegels are for vaginal health. But I feel like there isn’t much information out there about which sex toys help with Kegels, especially when it comes to pregnancy. I am currently 29 weeks pregnant and am not high risk, so as far as I know there is no reason to avoid sex toys. While I know that you can strengthen Kegels without toys I would love to know what is on the market in various price ranges. Ideally a something that has more than just the propose of Kegels would be great. Do you have any ideas?

Yes, Kegels are super important! They are one of the best exercises anyone can do no matter what sexual equipment you were born with or have elected to have. For those of you who don’t know what Kegel exercises are or how to do them, they are a way to tone your pubococcygeus muscle (PC muscle). The PC muscle forms the pelvic floor and when strong can help prevent incontinence, make orgasms stronger, and can help men to delay ejaculation if they desire. The way to flex this muscle is by squeezing the way you would if you were trying to make yourself stop peeing midstream. In order to figure out how to do it you can stop yourself from peeing a few times, but I don’t recommend doing this regularly. The great thing about exercising your PC muscles is that you can do it anytime anywhere and no one will even know. You can do it at the grocery store, while talking to your boss, while pumping gas, while cleaning, etc. The possibilities are endless.

And you’re right, doing them during pregnancy is a great idea. Having strong PC muscles will help you to give birth more easily by making it easier to push and lessening your chances of tearing during labor. You should also do kegels after you give birth as this will help get everything back into shape faster.

While exercise equipment is not necessary to do kegels, it can make it more fun. Unfortunately there isn’t a whole lot of price range out there as you will need sex toys that are heavy and heavy materials tend to cost more money.

The cheapest option at about $28 would probably be Smart Balls. You insert one or both balls, leaving the string outside of your body like a tampon and you squeeze the balls with your PC muscles. For resistance you can pull on the string. While these can be fun, there is nothing orgasmic about them. Some people find them to be pleasurable, but there are other options out there that are more likely to get more of a rise out of you.

The other options I would suggest would be heavy dildos, often made out of stainless steel. These you can use during masturbation by inserting the dildo into your vagina and rhythmically squeezing your muscles around it towards orgasm. I highly recommend using a vibrator on your clit in conjunction with the weighted dildo. Here are some options of dildos that you can try, their weights, and their prices:
- Natural Contours Energie 1 lb $50
- Betty Dodson’s Vaginal Barbell just under 1 lb $76
- The Kegelcisor just under 1 lb $84
- njoy’s Fun Wand 12oz $88
- njoy’s Pure Wand 1.5 lbs currently on sale for $91.80
- or if you’re really hardcore there is njoy’s eleven weighing in at 2.75 lbs and costing $300

These toys are all made of high quality materials so consider it to be an investment that will last a really long time. And while you can easily warm these stainless steel toys with warm water before hand, Betty Dodson (one of my heroes and the queen of masturbation and female orgasms) suggests starting with the dildo cold so that your muscles will automatically start to clamp around it. Also, be sure to use lube when using these or any dildos. All of these toys, with the exception of the Smart Balls, can be used with either water or silicone based lubes.

Looking for Lovely Ladies

Hello! Long time reader (love your blog), long time E2B shopper, and first time emailer.

I am a bisexual woman in the suburbs of Chicago. I realized this when I was 12, but have limited experience due to limited opportunities. Specifically, I have no idea where to meet women. I am in my 20s, and I am fine with bars, but there seems to be a lack of lesbian-themed in Chicago. I would prefer suburbs, since the Metra only runs till 12:40 am; however, I would travel to the city if that is the only place women interested in women hang out. Where does one go to find interesting women in the suburbs?

Signed,
My Gay-Dar is Such Shit Anyways

This is a question I’ve heard a lot and actually asked myself on numerous occasions. It can be really difficult to meet women especially when you aren’t part of the queer community already. This seems to be the cry of the bisexual woman mostly because 1) men are soooo easy to find and 2) lesbians often have a negative knee jerk reaction to bisexual women. So what is a bi girl to do?

Well that really all depends on what you’re in to, but as it turns out there are actually lots of places to meet sexy eligible women who love women. The hardest part is learning how to talk to them! And since you’re already an E2B shopper you may know that they have a workshop called Flirting For Nerds which can really help in that department.

Here are some great resources that I’ve found:
- OutintheSuburbs.com is a resource for LGBT individuals in the Chicago burbs that lists all kinds of things from news events to gay bars and who frequents them to church groups and brunches.
- Look for meetups online. I found this Chicago Lesbian Brunch Group with just a quick search. There are even meetup groups for lesbians who ride scooters!
- There are several bars that have lesbian nights: OUTDanced Tuesday at Funky Buddha, Dirty Girl Thursdays at Lakeview Broadcasting Company, and Chix Mix often throws parties at Circuit so get on their mailing list.
- Unlike the gay boy bars, the bars lesbians tend to go to are often not really advertised as lesbian bars. It helps to have friends in the queer community so you can find out the in on these places. Andersonville is a great neighborhood for scoping out chicks. There are several bars there where women who love women hang out including T’s, Stargaze, and Atmosphere. There are a couple bars in the BoysTown neighborhood that aren’t just for the boys including Spin, Berlin, and The Closet.
- Andersonville is also host to a feminist bookstore called Women and Children First which can be a great place to pick up the cute geeky feminist women. You can also check this store as well as E2B and other women-centered stores for fliers for upcoming events.
- Besides just meetup.com there are other places on the internet to find sexy ladies. There are dating sites, blog sites, networking sites, etc. Get creative! I met my fiance through a public transportation community on livejournal.com
- Burlesque shows can be a great place not only to see sexy women seductively taking off their clothes but also to meet women. Queer women seem to just adore burlesque and it is pretty easy to find in Chicago. I’ve found this site to be very useful when looking for upcoming burlesque shows in Chicago. If you’re feeling daring you could even do burlesque yourself! I can’t imagine anything sexier than being hit on by a hot lady in sequin pasties.
- Join a sports team. It is true what they say about dykes, they love their softball and rugby! You may even be able to find a GLBT team.