The Toy

Out of all of the toys I’ve tried that had not yet given me an orgasm I felt like the Eroscillator was coming the closest. So I decided to focus specifically on it for a few days and kept it plugged in next to my bed. One of the things I really like about this toy, and what makes it a bit more discreet, is that you can remove the attachment and just clean that. No hauling giant vibrators to the bathroom, just a small attachment that can easily fit in a pocket or sleeve. Plus, cleaning a small attachment is SO easy! Those of you who take a toothbrush to your Hitachi know what I’m talking about!

The Fodder

I’ve had a lot of non-success coming up with sexy things to think about. I’ve been distracted with my sore, achey body. But I will try to redouble my efforts here. Part of the problem is waiting too long to masturbate and not getting to it until the end of the day.

Thoughts

I had an orgasm with the Eroscillator! Granted that was with the help of my wife, but that was not something that could be achieved before with the Wahl. But this is a double success because we’ve had sex more often than usual. Masturbating at bedtime is tricky because it’s harder to focus, but it also means we’re more likely to have sex. So I must admit I’m torn.

====================
This post, Days 6-10: Eroscillator Training, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 05/11/2012. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Days 6-10: Eroscillator Training. Thanks for visiting!
====================

The Toy

I had been considering doing this challenge for a year at least, but didn’t have the guts until I tried the Pink Inspire. The orgasms were weaker than with the Hitachi, but they were possible. I needed a safety net. I mean did you really think I was willing to masturbate for 31 days straight with no promise of orgasm? That just sounds like a killing spree waiting to happen.

I had planned on using this toy later but, this seemed like the necessary time to break out the Inspire.

The Fodder

With my wife laying next to me in bed this was trickier than usual. If I fantasize about her then it gets frustrating because SHE’S RIGHT THERE and WHY CAN’T SHE BE TOUCHING ME NOW!?!? Well, because she was tired and her back hurt. So I tried to imagine other fantasies involving me and someone else (real, imagined, or faceless). This did not work because I still felt like if I was involved in the fantasy it would be so much better if I was actually doing it. Masturbating next to someone who is not paying much attention has always left me feeling frustrated which is one of the reasons I like the Hitachi – I don’t have to fantasize; it just gets the job done.

So I let my mind wander, trying to pick out other things that turn me on. And then there it was. I can’t believe I’d never spent any real time here before, but it was glorious. Captain Jack Harkness and Spike. Not older James Marsters (Captain John) who actually does makeout with Captain Jack (which is hot too), but actual William the Bloody. Captain Jack and Spike kissing passionately, rubbing their bodies against each other, sucking each other’s cock. Oh god it was amazing and just what I needed. Is there fanfic of this somewhere? There really should be.

Thoughts

All in all it took me about 10 minutes and I had 3 orgasms. They were much stronger than I remembered having with the Inspire previously. I’m sure that 2 days of masturbating with no result made that possible. I wanted to keep going. I usually prefer to have around 5 orgasms, but the Inspire started to get really hot and it was too cold in the bedroom to remove the blankets.

What I really like about the Inspire is the power, of course, but also the two pronged attachment. It delivers vibrations in a way that I’ve never experienced with the giant head on the Hitachi. Of course now all I can think though is that I need a similar attachment for my Hitachi. I need to break the addiction!

====================
This post, Day 3: Inspire Me, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 05/04/2012. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Day 3: Inspire Me. Thanks for visiting!
====================

The Toy

For Day One I decided to use the Wahl. It seemed appropriate since this style of vibe was my very first and when I was younger always worked reliably. The Wahl is a blogger favorite. It’s a cheap, powerful, quiet, well-made vibe. But while I was using it I found myself wondering if mine just isn’t as powerful as it should be. I remember there being a lot more power in my first vibe, but memories are tricky things. I will have to check the power of another Wahl when I am in the office on Thursday. After all, mine has been sitting around unused for a few years.

The Fodder

Normally when I use a Hitachi I can just let my mind wander. I rarely think about sexy things. I just let my body go through the stages of orgasm with little to no effort on my part. This is probably not going to work with other toys, at least not at first. I tried thinking sexy thoughts, but I went to the office today which means my mind is filled with work as well as the Occupy protests going on in Oakland. My walk home from the BART included 2 boarded up banks, spray painted anarchy symbols, and the sound of helicopters overhead. So my mind was not supplying the sexy times even though I had a pretty sexy dream last night.

I turned to my phone for stimulation. The first thing that came to mind to search for was Spike/Buffy (Spuffy) fanfic. I’ve never really read fanfic before, but oh how the sex scenes in BtVS turn me on. Mmmm Spike. Even looking for the fic sparked my libido up a bit. I began to read and get into the story, but then I got a text from my wife that had to be answered right away. Phones aren’t the best tools for masturbation when you could get interrupted at any moment.

Thoughts

I spent 28 minutes with a vibrator between my legs and I didn’t even get close to orgasm. It felt good, but I didn’t even feel much of a rise at all. Most rise was from thoughts of Spuffy. Because there wasn’t much rise there also wasn’t much frustration. If I’m close to the edge, but I just can’t seem to get over it that’s when I expect it will get really frustrating. What I did notice was after I took the vibe away my clit was spasming HARD. Every few seconds I’d feel a jolt. It was not pleasant and slightly painful. This sometimes happens after sex although not usually this hard. It took about 5 minutes to stop. Besides this bit of annoyance day one hasn’t been so bad. Only 30 left to go.

I think tomorrow will be easier. I will be working from home so I’ll have a bit more time to get in the mood instead of rushing in the door to masturbate before I cook dinner.

====================
This post, Day 1: The Wahl and Spuffy, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 05/01/2012. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Day 1: The Wahl and Spuffy. Thanks for visiting!
====================

Experiences and thoughts

• I didn’t think about sex at all while using it.
• I came several times. I probably should’ve counted, but I’d estimate there was about 5 orgasms.
• Each orgasm was stronger than the next.
• It took me less than 10 minutes.

====================
This post, Last Day for Hitachi Use, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 04/30/2012. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Last Day for Hitachi Use. Thanks for visiting!
====================

I’ve toyed with the idea for awhile … a long while. But now I finally have the motivation to do something about it. I’m going to go 31 days – all of May – without using my Hitachi. But that’s just the first part of the challenge because without much of a libido I could easily go 31 days without masturbating. That wouldn’t really do anyone any good. May is Masturbation Month so in honor of said month I will be masturbating EVERY DAY but WITHOUT my beloved Hitachi. I expect it will be frustrating at first, but I must trek on. And even if I’m having sex I will not allow myself the use of my Hitachi. My goal is to retrain both my brain and my cunt. It won’t be easy, but with a supply of excellent toys I think I can do it. And heck, if it goes well I hope to use these toys continuously even after the 31 days are over.

The toys I will be using that are in my arsenal include:

• The Wahl – a favorite amongst people in the know. I actually started out with this kind of vibrator which probably explains my love for power.
• The Eroscillator – one of the ugliest sex toys ever made unless you love steam punk, but also one of the most beloved. Unfortunately, mine is not as powerful as the one linked to, but I’m hoping it will still be able to get the job done.
• Lelo Siri – Lelo’s most powerful vibrator is also oddly enough their most affordable.
• Pink Inspire – a powerful CalEx wand with some intriguing silicone attachments. A shout out to my roomie, Lucid Obsession, from the Momentum Convention last month for sending one my way.

I would like to add one or two more toys to the mix and I have some contenders in mind, but I’d love to hear your suggestions in the comments. Let me know what toys you love. The requirements: they MUST be both powerful and rumbly and it would be nice if they weren’t super heavy since I do have arthritis in my wrists.

Once I have all of the toys I will draw up a schedule of which days I will be using each one so that I don’t just start substituting one for my Hitachi and give them all an equal and fair shot. I’ll be sharing my thoughts, frustrations, and triumphs on my experience of going Hitachi-less and also a bit about the toys themselves.

And heck even if this challenge doesn’t work it’ll at least give me an even deeper love for my Hitachi.

====================
This post, 31 Day No Hitachi Challenge, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 04/13/2012. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: 31 Day No Hitachi Challenge. Thanks for visiting!
====================

Upselling body healthy luxury toys, in general, tends to be much easier in a brick and mortar store. When you have sales people interacting with your customers you have the edge. It becomes a lot more difficult in e-commerce because if your customer comes to your site looking for a giant blue jelly dong that’s most likely what they’re going to leave with.

But that doesn’t mean that you don’t have options. There are four areas that you can focus on to help upsell in a sex positive way through your e-commerce store:

1. Reputation and branding
2. Education and Customer service
3. Variety
4. Cross selling

If you are known for selling high end toys that is what you will sell. If you are known for selling cheap jelly toys that is what people will expect from you. Your brand – the image you project and the demographic you attract with that image will dictate what you can and cannot sell. This is influenced by everything from the images and copy you choose to display on your website to how you interact through social media. Watch closely how you talk about sex, people’s bodies, and the products you’re selling. You can’t use the same kind of language to sell a 12 inch dong as you do for a $200 luxury vibrator.

If you’re not currently projecting the image of a store where customers will come for luxury sex toys you should know that you can change your image, but only if you’re willing to put in the work to make that happen. As sex toys become accepted in the mainstream more and more customers are becoming more educated and are choosing to shop with companies that reflect their views of sex toys as normal and healthy. If you speak about the toys you’re selling in a misogynistic or degrading way you will turn off many of your higher end customers.

So how do you create a brand that’s good for selling luxury products? Educate your customers. Dedicating your site to sexual education shows that you care about your customers. You see them as more than dollar signs. You have a vested interest in their sexual health. Tell them what products are made of and what the pros and cons are of those materials. Point them towards the products that are more body healthy. There are numerous ways of doing this including creating a materials and ingredients page that product pages hyperlink to, making product videos (or using videos made by the manufacturers) to highlight the body healthy toys, creating a body healthy toys and lube category that is easy to find on your homepage and can easily be linked to by your affiliates, if you have bloggers writing
reviews for you encourage them to also write a short review on the product page, include staff reviews and picks, and offer easily accessible customer service with a representative who is knowledgeable. Just because you are online doesn’t mean you can’t interact with your customers. Offer instant messaging and make your 800 number visible on every page.

Education is important and you will change some people’s minds and teach them how to better take care of their bodies, but sometimes people just want a cheap blue jelly dong and if you don’t sell it they’ll get it somewhere else. This is why it’s so important to offer variety to your customers.

Make it very known which products are safer than others, but leave the decision making up to your customers. You’ve informed them, now let them make their choice. For truly dangerous products like anal desensitizers this may not be the best option, but a jelly toy that is packed full of phthalates and BPA doesn’t have to be harmful if your customers use a barrier to protect themselves. But you have to inform them that this is the best option.

That’s why cross selling is so important. Not everyone can afford a $100 100% pure medical grade silicone dildo and to presume to know what’s best for your customer is patronizing them. If they can’t afford it, they can’t afford it. It doesn’t matter that that dildo will last them a lifetime unless you can offer them monthly installment plans. But they can afford to buy a $20 dildo and put a condom on it every time they use it. Yes, this will cost them more money in the long run, but they shouldn’t have to choose between food and a dildo. The same goes for people who are inexperienced. If you’re just learning to cook you don’t go out and buy the pots and pans of professionals because they’re too expensive. Yes, your food might taste better coming out of those professional pans and they might last 20 years, but if you’re not even sure you like cooking you’re going to opt to buy the $20 set from Target. The same goes for sex toys. Most people aren’t going to drop $100 on their first sex toy and you shouldn’t push them into it. Instead educate them on what options are available in their price range. There are many body healthy options made from ABS plastic that are much more affordable or they can always use a barrier between their sex toys and them. Making your customer happy is more important than upselling because that college student who can only afford the $20 dildo is more likely to come back when they have more money because they had a good experience with you. By being honest with your customers and selling to them based off of their interests instead of their insecurities they will feel safer buying from you and you will create loyalty.

====================
This post, Sex Positive Upselling Online, originally appeared on Ask Garnet on 07/14/2011. Click over to leave a comment or ask a question: Sex Positive Upselling Online. Thanks for visiting!
====================